the first time i heard balinese music was in the rice fields near singaraja, bali. i was walking along a dirt path and suddenly heard sounds that made my insides feel so alive. when i asked the gardener what i was hearing, he told me it is the rice farmer playing on his onkelon in the field nearby. i rushed over there and watched as he played on the handmade bamboo slats with his mallets. i must be able to create this music too! and i asked him if he would make me one too. a few days later i was the owner of an onkelon and practiced melodies that the gardener and his son would teach me. impossible to remember, impossible to decipher, but magnificent...and only by non-stop repetition of listening and trying did i master each melody.
when they saw how determined and enthusiastic i was, they invited me to hear the women from the village playing in the orchestra. i drove at dusk through winding dirt paths on a motorbike through the forest, and suddenly the air was filled with chimes ringing out in all kinds of rhythms that didn't make any sense, but were magnificent. unbelievable. it was the womens' orchestra of anturin "warming up" before their practice. as i entered the outer courtyard of the open air temple where they were practicing, i was hypnotized by the magical sounds that i had never heard before in my life, but that filled me with a strong feeling of "life". the leader, noticing my awe, and in typical balinese friendliness, gestured to me to join them at one of the gamelons that did not have a woman sitting on a little stool next to it. i looked at him bewildered....what? me? but i don't know how?! and i just walked over, sat down, picked up the mallet, and started copying what the woman kitty korner to me was doing, since that is what they motioned me to do. it felt like i was running after my own tail, and together with that my whole body was filled with such energy and happiness.
i was initiated a few weeks later by the priest, along with the other women in the orchestra, and at the height of this new path in life, i had to leave my resort and the orchestra because i could not live with the rats in my room. i was devastated, but hoped i would find another orchestra in the next village.
when i arrived in tejakula, i asked about the womens' gamelon orchestra, but for months no one had any answers as to where, when, who, what...and just as i gave up hope of finding it, i received a message to be at the community center at 6:30 in the evening where they would be practicing. what joy! i arrived on time. they didn't....but as they slowly showed up and got organized, i pantomimed to one of the non-english speaking women (none of the 22 know english) that seemed semi in charge, that i know how to play and i want to too. she did the same hand gesture as the first leader did, like: "be my guest..." and i sat down and again was enveloped in joy and in panic, as i tried to visually race after my neighbors wooden mallet hitting the iron plates and creating that other worldly music.
that was almost a year ago. and since then, twice a week, i show up for the rehearsals and am carried off into another world for a few hours. there are about 22 instruments, and usually 20 women...so i am the "filler", and play whatever gamelon is available. on the one hand, it is nice that i don't have to take responsibility and really remember the music, since i never know which melody i will be playing, and on the other hand, there is no "peace of mind" in just playing the music and becoming one with it, since i have to keep learning a new part every couple of weeks. in truth, i can't really say that i even know the difference between the 3 pieces we have been playing all this time! it all sounds the same, but different.
last night i found myself sitting next to a different gamelon with only 6 notes instead of the usual 10 i had been playing, and its role in the piece was unknown to me. realizing that i haven't the slightest idea what to do i just sat there, and let the music envelope me into it. to my left was one of the village men playing on a huge 8 piece gong set. he was teaching two of the women seated there, their rhythm. there is no written music, it is passed on from person to person, by sitting opposite each other in real time, and you both have a set of mallets or a hammer, depending on which gamelon, and you copy what he is doing, while everyone else is playing their part. i was watching him playing these gongs and i was in awe. how is it possible that with all of this clanging and commotion and everyone playing something different, can he (and every other gamelon player i have met) know each persons part, no matter which instrument and where they are in the song, and do it facing the opposite direction! (she is sitting facing the gongs, and he is opposite her doing it with his opposite hands so she can learn!)
the melodies are repetitive, but have nothing in common with western music, and the nuances are numerous. and he just went from one to the other, listened for a moment to figure out where to begin demonstrating for the next woman that did not yet know her part in the piece, and then began to play it with her. i watched him, wishing i could have x-ray vision of what is going through his head, that he can possibly know what music 22 different women are playing at any moment! and as i just sat there, empty, open, hungry to be able to hear what he could hear, transparent veils of layers of music suddenly appeared in my minds' eye. suddenly, for a few seconds, it was possible to hear the whole orchestra, and at the same time to differentiate between the different harmonious melodies that were layered on top of each other and making up this mysterious "whole". i was grateful for the moments of grace and realized that there is hope, that maybe one day my ability to hear this with a more sensitive ear ( or heart?) can happen.
a few minutes later, the leader came over to me with his mallet and played opposite me the 20 some notes that made up my repetitive melody for this part of the composition. ugh!...i was torn between trying to be a "good student" and catch on quick and impress him, and with trying to follow him diligently and LEARN, and with trying to just be open and empty and trust that as has been the case for the past half year, when "it" happens, it happens, and trying to use my mind or memorize or find clues or tips that can remind me what the next note is, does not work. but it's also a kind of "catch 22", because if i catch on quick and succeed in imitating him correctly, he thinks i know it and goes off to lead the group, and then i'm all on my own and have no idea what to do! and if i don't follow him quickly and intuitively, he will stay there and keep showing it to me, but may wonder why he is wasting his time on me since i am just the "tourist" and come and go from instrument to instrument anyways, and from country to country every half a year....(my projection...probably totally untrue).
i decided to opt for the "just be open and empty" approach. and as soon as he demonstrated a few times with me succeeding, he left me, i immediately contracted finding myself suddenly on my own, and was immediately lost, and just sat there, enjoying everyone else playing, and happy and grateful that the balinese are very easy going, accepting people, and that it's just no big deal...at the next rehearsal, they'll show me again, along with the others that don't remember either, and everyone will laugh.
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