Destiny

tanya looks like a cupie doll. she just started first grade. she has a queenly elegance to her, and is a very dramatic actress, especially if she is tired or hungry. she is as thin as a toothpick and is a real beauty. already in first grade there is a little boy that thinks she is beautiful, and parents ask her mother what kind of shampoo she uses so that they can switch to it too for their daughters. she wears little high heeled flip flops for ceremonies at the temple, and loves the color purple. holding her hand is like touching an orchid. no matter whether she is playing with mud or sweeping dust at the building site, she always looks spotless and with ironed clothes, and as if she just walked out of a fashion magazine. the little bow in her hair always adds that added touch of sweetness too.

today, when we were at a certain temple for the celebration, i asked her mother, why she chose this temple out of the other 30 that were options. she said that tanya needs to come here, so it is one of the 5 we went to. i asked her why tanya needs to come to this one. her mother told me that a few years ago, when she was 4, she behaved during the ceremonies as if she knew exactly what to do with her hands and praying. her mother was surprised how she picked it up from watching those around her. but then she started noticing that she would also go off 3 times a day on her own to go to the family temple outside the house, also to pray, as the orthodox observers do. her mother followed behind her once to see where she was going, and found her at the small temple speaking with god. she was a bit concerned about this behavior by a 4 year old and went to ask the balian, what it means and what to do.

the response of the balian was that tanya has been "chosen" and will need to assist the priests once she has her first menstruation. until then she needs to be treated as a "chosen". her clothes must be kept separately from the rest of the wash and also in a separate cupboard. she must not eat any beef, and preferably eat alone, not among others. she must be treated with great respect and care. and this will be the temple she serves at.

i was surprised. she really did have a queenly aura to her, even at such a young age. "what happens when she marries? will she need to marry someone special too?" and her mother confessed that this was what stressed her when she first spoke with the balian. she was worried that it will be very difficult to protect her once she is at the age of dating and marriage, and what happens if she makes a mistake with the wrong kind of boy? i assured her, that the way tanya already acts like a queen, she will only attract someone who is a king and is looking for a queen. also, her inborn instincts will lead her in the right direction. her mother agreed that she trusts that it will all be fine.

i asked if anybody knows about this. she told me that the family knows. what about her first grade teacher? and just the other day, when suddenly tanya was crying in school for no reason, her mother shared the childs' destiny with the teacher, even though she did not want her to be singled out or treated differently in the classroom, but just so the teacher would know the bigger picture.

slowly as i ask many questions and observe parents with children i see more and more how their approach is to assist these little souls with as little interference as possible. treating hitting and possible acts of abuse and violence or disrespect in a humorous and light hearted way, there do not seem to be any power struggles going on, at any of the age levels...just letting things be and striving for harmony. who knows what the destiny of each of these little souls is?