to laugh

while fast asleep in bed the other night, i suddenly heard a scratching sound from inside my mattress. oh god! no...not a mouse inside my mattress?! ugh. after that i just kind of laid in bed and listened, trying to figure out where it was, what it wanted, and what to do. i did not want a mouse in my bed. i reflected on what my karma is that i need these rats and mice in my life? and how will i get some sleep. ugh. it stopped, and started, and moved about, and i thought that i may either have to learn how to accept them, or leave this place too...i saw how my body tensed up. how what used to be simply lying down in bed and falling asleep, would no longer be relaxed and simple.ugh.

the following morning i checked the mattress, the bedboards, under, behind, and couldn't find anything. when i saw that the offerings i had placed on the table were on the floor, i realized that the "animal" had moved it while it was crawling or running around...hmm...so maybe it was a cat? or it came in through the window at night? my room is only a little bigger than the bed, and always clean, so i just decided to forget about it, and close the windows at night, and see what happens. and i had a sound sleep...no evident visitors.

in the morning i was sitting with my landlords and he was laughing/apologizing for all the noise at strange hours they are up lately (cooking for a ceremony at 3 a.m. in full volume outside my room). he was laughing about it all. i told him that it is fine, and that eventually i fall back asleep, but that the night before i had either a rat, or a mouse or a cat in or under my mattress. his english isn't too good, so our conversations are pretty short.

"Oh yes, a mouse! ha, ha ,ha"

"But maybe it was a rat" (me getting more serious)

"Oh, yes, a rat! ha ha ha"

"But, maybe it was a cat?" (me, not wanting to offend them and maybe it really was just a stray cat?)

"Oh yes, a cat, following the mouse! ha ha ha " (and imitated with his fingers a mouse scrambling off)

end of conversation!

This is typical. no matter what subject is brought up that could possibly insinuate a problem or difficulty or mistake....you laugh! it's really quite simple! You get to choose, to just laugh. It is a valid option. It doesn't have to make any sense, it doesn't demand any excuses, apologees, blame....you just laugh. end of discussion. If you have that as an option, then why would anyone want to worry, or fret or get upset, or angry, or tense? God is running the show anyways, no?

they do it "with" (we say "to" in the West) my friends little 3 year old that has begun to stutter...they all just imitate him as he stutters, and laugh and laugh. no one is worried about a speech therapist, what is causing the stuttering, or pretending that he is speaking normally...they think it is funny! they do it "with" the men playing in the badmiton tournament...at the crucial swing, that gets the birdie stuck in the net, instead of smoothly gliding over it, all the men laugh at the player. they do it "with" the woman that is with the other 21 women in the choir as she suddenly mixed up which direction to take the next step, and the crowds roar with laughter. they do it when i ask the young man if the teenager that was killed in the accident is his cousin? "Yes, ha ha ha". they do it when a woman is having an affair with a married man and is depressed because his wife doesn't agree for him to take a second wife. "broken heart! Ha- ha ha".

my landlord did it the first night i met him. we were walking down the narrow tree lined path to the sea, and suddenly a coconut dropped from the tall tree (about 3 story height!) a few meters from me. i swung around to look at him as i said "whew!" assuming that he would join in my serious concern that the coconuts need to be picked already since they are ripe and it is dangerous! only to hear him laugh and say "it is good luck!" good luck? yeah....my good luck that it didn't fall on me!

but really...it is an option. i think it is just habit that i have been raised to relate to things seriously, matters of concern, need to find a solution, worry about the future, feel ashamed or embarassed about mitakes, (i think of all the pottery "mistakes" i had that were another pin in my heart of not being a good enough potter if this could happen!). My ego being hurt. "this is happening "To" me! instead of just laughing! Ha ha ha