"it's time to go home"

The message was loud and clear, just unexpected! I woke up as usual  and walked down to the sea. It was still dark, but the sun would soon be up. I looked out at the sea, with overcast sky, tide in with the half moon, and scanned the shore to find a rock to sit on and journal while watching the rising sun. as I sat down and looked out to sea, I heard "it's time to go home". Ha! Okay….if you say so….you're the boss. And there was a moment of joy along with the surprise. Joy that it is so simple and right and a new beginning. my mom had called for medical help the night before because she wasn't feeling well, and was taken to the hospital for high blood pressure. I received some emails notifying me of that, and also telling me that she feels fine and will be going home hopefully soon. I realized that the message I had heard had to do with that. It was time for me to go home and be around. Not because someone asked me to, or needed me to, but because it was time to. It was a good feeling knowing that something very fundamental had changed inside of me along with the message I had heard. Something that knew that this is what I need to do, regardless of what anyone else thinks or does. It was so different than the "message" I had received a month and a half ago that "it is time to stay home" while I was visiting there…that too had been clear and simple and was met with total willingness on my part, but when I attached that to care taking of my mother, she refused and demanded to continue to be independent till the end and doesn't want me hanging around, unless it is something I want. Not because she needs me. She doesn't need me. She wants me there, like always, but doesn't need me. And if I wasn't needed, then why in the world would I let go of the magnificent dream come true life I was leading here in bali?? 

But now it was different. Now it was resounding in sync with what my brother had written me a few months earlier when I thought I suddenly needed to go home to help my mom through an operation. He said that my inner peace is the only important thing here. To go and do something for someone, but inside not feel at peace, is pointless. And that the ideal situation would be for me to want to return home, and be there because I wanted to, and not because someone  asked me to or because I was needed, and then be grateful that no one even needs me once I have returned! I couldn't imagine ever being in that place…but suddenly this morning I found myself with that exact inner constellation that had formed somehow over the past couple of months, unbeknown to me!

The clock was ticking. I knew I had to get back and get to the airport immediately if I was to get a flight that would replace my current ticket for april. I quickly walked back to the house, tried to find new tickets and pack and say a sudden goodbye to all, in 15 minutes….but, once I checked my ticket I found that I still have another day until I need to go. Trying to be online and finding tickets was its usual hassle, and I knew to trust that it is all perfect, and that the tickets will appear in the perfect timing and so will my passport arrive from offices that are closed, and and and…

My friends, whose home I live in and their parents that live on the compound, were all in shock from my sudden announcement. Until now they knew my plan was to go home in may for a month, and again return and continue living here…for the rest of my life! The Balinese doing things according to auspicious dates on the calendar, by planning, slowly, thinking, calmly…not by suddenly hearing the voice of God and getting up and getting on a plane. I had no explanation other than "that is what I was told this morning at the sea. I am just as surprised as you are. But I know I must do it."

 I also knew that it was because of them that I was able to do it. It was the grandparents and their gentleness, their constant bestowing of small gifts of food or other gestures of love, of togetherness without words, of smiles flashed as we passed each other on the compound. Of cooking lessons, of giving my organic debris to the pig, of making offerings twice daily at the family altar and around the compound and house, of utter awe and respect towards them as I witnessed the way they "served" Nature, and god in every action they took, whether it was sharpening the knife everyday, or cutting greens and feeding the cow, while sitting there watching him eat next to the little bonfire, or being the midwives for the pig that birthed 9 piglets, or climbing up the coconut tree to bring me fresh coconut water, or smoking my fresh fish in banana leaves on the hearth for me, or inviting me to cut greens from the garden for meals or offerings, and including me in all the family gatherings, etc. all of this had created a feeling of great reverence in me towards them, with them.

It was also the son and his family that was always thinking of ways to answer my needs before I even knew they were a need. Of small gestures of love and kindness, thoughtfulness, attention, of long conversations or short explanations about life and balinese beliefs and religion and customs.  My endless questions were always met with thoughtful, beautifully explained answers that would melt my heart. The children were my playmates in hoola hooping and mandala making from the glass shards and seashells from the sea.  We understood each other even though we spoke different languages, them picking up and practicing some English, and me using body language and  my limited vocabulary to build our relationships.

So that was the beginning of my "returning home". For me, even to use the term "home" was progress, because a few months ago when I went to visit, I saw that I could not type the word. It didn't coincide with what I was feeling. Home was bali. I was going back "to visit". Not back  "home". And now there was something that felt filled to the brim with magnificence. The magnificence of living in this dream-like world of nature, of music, of smells of incense, of fresh fruit from the trees, of dirt paths to the sea, of smiling happy kind people, of minimal expenses and needs, of not working or having to earn money, of letting the day unfold however it did and being enthralled with it anew each day, of making offerings and praying twice a day and feeling the energy and gift that that experience gave me, of living outdoors the whole day, of spending hours by the sea, of walking to the market at 4:30 a.m. and being happy to speak with the vendors, of the ceremonies, and magic of bali.

It suddenly became clear to me what it means to "empty the vessel". Each day was more magnificent than the one before it, and now was the time to empty it out, in israel, in my community, with my friends and family. And I had perfect faith that when it was time it would be filled again. How, I didn't know, but that it is okay to empty it so it can be filled again, that is what was clear, and welcomed. What I didn't expect was that it would start happening while I was still here! I thought that once I get back to Israel, the gravity of it will hit and I will be cool and collected and stay centered and allow my vessel to empty out while I stay "present" and witness it. Nice…but not how it is happening….

The constant smile from ear to ear that was always on the grandfathers face, is no longer there, there is a heaviness in the air. I am excited about going home, and they are sad and confused about my sudden leaving , when everything was so perfect. The grandmother enjoyed having my company on the compound…as did the grandfather. They keep bringing me gifts of special ripe fruits from their trees today…special fish sate that she made for me. They want to know when I will  be back. And the truth is…there is a taste to this, that is reminiscent to the "message" I got when I stopped being a potter. As I walk about I hear "this is the last time you are making this spicy meal", "this is the last time you are going to the sea in the dark to see the sunrise", "this is the last time you are squatting on the squat toilet and showering with this cold water poured from the bucket on you", "this is the last glass mandala you are making on the porch", "this is the last time you are getting the internet card arranged by the lovely Balinese staff at this resort"…it is not me deciding this….it is just what is happening. This is the bali that I had planned to live in till my last day of life, that touches me to my deepest depths, that fills me with light and gratitude all day long, that reveals her secrets through nature and the people here. How could this be my last time? But packing up everything, feels like it too. i have no idea why.

But the part that isn't fun is that the magic is disappearing before my very eyes…this I didn't expect. When I went to the altar of the compound this morning, it was suddenly just cement, with a mildewed piece of cloth tied at the tip of it, and the forest surrounding it was flat and lifeless. I stood there in disbelief. How could this be? Just yesterday evening as I placed the offerings here I had such a touching encounter with god…what happened? I closed my eyes, and prayed, and when I opened them a bit of the magic had returned, but barely. The light happy feeling as we passed each other in the compound, was now empty and even had a taste of "anger" in it…and I realized "of course, they must go through mourning now…and the stage after denial, is anger….ah….so that is what I am feeling"  and then also all of the physical world which played tricks on me; eating up all my credit on the internet, my cell phone suddenly not having any more credit so my sms messages were never received telling the driver I was not travelling today, but tomorrow instead, all the photos I took for my previous landlord – disappearing in thin air on the computer, and the very fine fine taste of reverence being replaced by a grosser form of myself….unbelievable…the emptying of the vessel….

So I am trying to witness it all, and even be grateful to god that instead of a big boom when I hit home, it is already starting to disappear while I am here…so I will have no excuses to say it is because Israel is so heavy! I know I do things fast. I know I do things suddenly, I know I am extreme. And this has been an out of this world extremeeeeeeee 2 years in bali. I am not leaving things behind here…if and when I return, I will have all that I need, I am sure. I also know that it is easy to be writing all of this as I hear the birds and roosters, and sit on the porch in the warm weather looking out into the forest of tall coconut trees and Balinese pop music or the chanting from the temple echoing out now and then…I am bringing back only one souvenir; the incense sticks…that in a moment of need, I can light one and remember this far away exotic beautiful bali that I loved, and that touched and changed me and filled me to the brim. I am grateful. And curious what comes next!

.

today's "aha" moments

the sea was very different this morning. there were rows of waves coming in at a 45 degree angle. i sat there looking at them, watching how the waves roll over. i guess because of the unique angle of them i was able to suddenly "see" that the "wave" is not the water. the wave is something that appears and moves the water! someone had once told me this a few years ago, but i couldn't understand or prove what they meant. but now it was clear that a wave has a life of its' own, kind of like the hand inside a puppet. and the water just rises or falls because of the wave that has entered into it. i thought of expressions we use about waves, and in hebrew it was more obvious; "gal". and all of the hebrew words that have that as their root, and to suddenly understand how rich and unique the hebrew language is and how fascinating waves are. and can i "ride a wave" and not fall under it?

while still at the sea i noticed that suddenly a square patch of light was shining through the clouds onto the sea. the rest of the sky was overcast. and i realized that the sun is always there behind the clouds, but when i saw the square patch of sunrays i thought how oftentimes this miracle of the power and importance of the suns' rays on everything on earth, goes unnoticed! and that by the grace of all the grey clouds covering the sky and just a small patch that is lit up, it is easier to recognize and suddenly appreciate. and that sometimes god has to make things dark in our lives so that he can then open up a little patch and let the sunlight through and allow us a new appreciation for what is often unnoticed or taken for granted, instead of a miracle and source of daily power and gratitude.

as i turned from the sea and began my walk back to my house, i suddenly heard the cicadas, now that the sounds of the sea were behind me. i smiled, happy to have their singing back in my awareness. their high vibration is a mystery to me that i have been observing and trying to understand. and then suddenly there were a whole slew of layers of other sounds; in the far distance; motorbikes, in the near surroundings; animals mooing, barking, cockadooing, and still another layer of birds singing, and water flowing, and music coming from someones house, and some people conversing. i suddenly understood the gamelon music that i have been playing. it is layers and layers of sounds, one on top of the other that creates a harmony. there is no written music, which would be "linear"...written on a piece of paper in lines with a beginning and an ending. the balinese music is cyclical, repetitive, goes in rounds, and each time one of the layers has the "stage" while the others become quieter, but continue. there can be a climax, but the cycle continues again and again and then suddenly ends on the last note of the cycle, played loudly, like a death. and there is silence. i realized that it is based on their experience of being in nature, doing their daily chores, living their simple repetitive lives, with moments of focus here or there, but a constant melody that is the foundation for everything else. this also seems to be the way they eat. the base is a big plate of white rice. and on top of that there is a tablespoon of spicy sambal, a teaspoon of spicy fish/chicken/pig/tofu, and a fried vegetable. they take their right hand, mush a little bit of each into the rice, and eat it...more or less three times a day. the food is usually cooked early in the morning and left out to be eaten at room temperature all day. each person takes a plate and eats by himself, the same food a few times a day. it is delicious food, very spicy, and it seems that just like this repetitive tune that we play on the gamelon made of layers of sounds where they all play together, but one is highlighted each time in the togetherness, so too is the food...with the same food eaten by all, all the time, with this white rice...but something spicy added to accent it.

as i was hoop dancing later in the afternoon on the porch to music on my laptop, i was suddenly "called" by a big palm tree in front of the house! i was surprised and looked at the tree top, which was suddenly waving around joyfully in circles, just like i had been doing! i looked at all the other palm trees next to it, but none were moving, so it wasn't because of wind...and i just laughed and smiled that the tree was dancing too with me. i decided to "accept the invitation" to dance, and continued to hoop dance but imitated the swaying of the big coconut palm leaves on the top, feeling what it is like to move like that. interesting. and then suddenly...five single leaves towards the tip that make up part of the whole big palm leaf started to move independently! it was totally wild! i had never seen anything like it before. and at that moment i realized that the balinese dancers were inspired by nature. i have asked several dancers about the meaning of their hand movements, but none seemed to know, they just do it, imitate it, learn it, practice it. and suddenly it all made sense. the palm leaf was perfectly still but two of the leaves of it were moving separately, just like if you keep your second and third fingers together, and move your fourth and baby together to the side. this is what they do while they are dancing. the body is usually straight, like the palm leaf, and just the fingers and eyes, are making subtle movements to the sides, while the rest of the body stays centered. also one hand is usually high while the other low, or one faced upwards the other faced downwards. and i realized how it all connects to the constant source of balance and harmony, between light and shadow, day and night, pure and impure.

and the last aha moment today was...while i was hoop dancing on the porch, and it was raining and i knew no one was out and about, out of nowhere the one neighbor i have that lives some 5o meters away, suddenly came to see if his stone wall that had fallen apart twice already, was holding up in the rain now. he looked over at me, smiled, we waved, and i continued. as i went to turn off the music since i had danced and exercised enough for today, i saw he had his cellphone out and was photographing me hooping. i laughed and did one more spin for him to photograph before stopping. next i continued to sit on the porch and make a mandala from glass shards from the beach. suddenly i heard a call, looked around me, and then at the wall separating our properties, and saw him standing there smiling at me. he gave me the "thumbs up" and i smiled, assuming he was complimenting me on my creative and beautiful mandala. i couldn't figure out how he could really see what i was doing since he was still some distance from me, i realized he was still "talking" to me but without words, so i raised my head from the mandala to see what he was saying. his second and third fingers on his right hand were crossing each other, like you do when you are kids and you want to tell a lie. hmm....i thought that was a strange way to body language me that he wants to take a photo close up of the mandalas. but he kept crossing and uncrossing his fingers and looking at me with a big stupid grin on his face...no camera. "something" told me that this has nothing to do with taking a photo of my mandalas...it has to do with him making a pass at me! he had already asked me a few days ago if i live here alone. and i said yes. and now was the perfect moment, after i was all revved up from hooping, and he was all revved up from watching me, and he was far from his house, and i was his neighbor....i kept my eyes focused on the mandala i was making and just ignored him and laughed how finally a balinese guy made a pass at me! aha! so that's how they do it. i preferred the "invitation" from the palm tree better!

 

glimpses

i wish i could open my heart and show it to the world so you could have a glimpse of what i feel with these balinese people that are in my life. it is just in a moment that they say or do something, and inside i melt. it is usually without words or if so, just a few. everything is minimalistic, but so deep and filled with love and quiet attention and intention, and together with that, such simplicity and something almost childlike. 

everyday there is an incident or two that awakens this deep admiration and wonder in me. i am so curious to understand how their minds work. but, in fact, when they do speak about their mind, they touch their heart with their right hand...so it isn't even the same mind as in the west!  how can an entire island of people be living from their heart, and it is kept a secret from the world?  it is only by means of my constantly asking them questions trying to understand how this heart centered existence of love, happiness and bestowal is instilled in them, that i get a snippet of information. maybe they themselves don't even know...it is just how they live. period. they don't know anything else.

in any case, i wanted to share a few glimpses that happened in the last 24 hours, just to give a taste of what i am talking about.  just a few minutes ago i was walking on the path in the woods, and a middle aged man carrying a small child in his arms (very common here that the men care for the children) and as we approached each other i was greeted with the biggest, happiest smile from him, even though we have never even seen each other! who needs more than that. 

while conversing with a young mother i asked her if she does balinese dancing. "yes, it is the way i can express my feelings." i was surprised by her answer since to me there seem to be a minimal amount of dances without any room for improvisation. it is all very subtle and discreet, from a western point of view, but for her it is the way balinese express feelings. so different than how westerners express feelings!

 she was showing me how to make very beautiful complicated offerings, with great patience and gentleness. when i asked her what occasion one would make such offerings for; full moon, dark moon...? she answered "whenever you have power in you to make them and you feel it in your heart. offerings can be made from the simple banana leaves folded in half, it doesn't matter, just that you feel it in your heart. that is what is important." this was said humbly and simply as if giving me instructions to go somewhere.

while sitting on my porch with some children in a family, i saw that the 6 year old was suddenly very angry and refusing to give her glass of water that she just took for herself to drink with her meal, to her 4 year old brother, that saw it and needed immediately to have water too and was screaming for it. the older 14 year old sister tried to convince the 6 year old to give her younger brother the water, to no avail. meanwhile the 6 year old drank the quantity that she wanted while her brother screamed, and then was willing to give him the rest of the glass, which quickly calmed and satisfied him. i was surprised and confused by the incident. i realized that for me there were many options; go bring another glass of water, tell the 4 year old to stop screaming, invite him to come to the water cooler and learn to take water himself too, to tell him that he has to wait till she drinks what she wants because she is the one that brought the water...but for them it was obvious that if the younger brother wants something, he needs to receive it immediately. i spoke with the father about it, telling him how i would encourage independence and self responsibility in the young child who is capable of getting water for himself and not spoiling him and giving in to his temper tantrums. he explained that for them it is more important to teach that we always need to put the other person before ourselves. that if there is someone younger than you, you must learn to serve them, and at a certain point in life it changes and you now must learn to serve those that are older than you. the desire to keep a calm atmosphere is top priority, so if the child begins to cry, his needs must be met. next unity and humility are what is important to teach the older child. that was the end of the conversation. no debating, philosophizing, doubts,  the development of the ego is not encouraged.

the grandfather, 71 years old, has a permanent smile from ear to ear on his face at all times. he is a simple man that feeds his cow with tender love and attention, along with the other farm work. the cow has a lovely thatch roof shelter where he feeds him three times a day fresh greens that he carries on his shoulder from the forest. he aesthetically places it down for him, and sits down next to him and watches him eat and keeps him company, builds a little fire to make things cozy for the cow, not in order to keep him warm, just because he has a "feeling" that the cow likes it. in 6 months time the cow will be fat and healthy and ready to be sold to someone that needs it for an offering at the temple. he washes his bum everyday, and the glow in the cows face is something to be seen. yesterday, he passed by my house to go into the forest to cut the greens. just then it began to rain. i figured he was waiting underneath a big banana tree to stay dry and when it stopped raining he would return. but it rained for a good half an hour. and suddenly he appeared, with his huge smile, a big banana plant on his shoulder for his wife to cut up and feed the pig. he was soaking wet,  we both laughed. i am sure he waited a while underneath a banana tree, and then he just decided, with his young at heart spirit, to just come on home, it's only water!

this morning i heard a new sound near my house and always interested to see and learn new things i went out and found him chopping a big tree trunk into more convenient sized pieces of fire wood. i love watching the balinese work, because they always do it very simply, effortlessly and with a natural rhythm and harmony with their surroundings. there he was, tall, barefoot, 71. with minimum movement he arranged the piece of wood on the earth, lifted his carefully sharpened long handled axe, placed it for a moment exactly on the spot on the wood where he wanted it to hit, then raised it above his head and let it fall into the tree trunk, splitting it exactly where he had intended beforehand. i stood there watching him do this about 7 times, until it had all been chopped. you could almost hear him speaking to the blade of the axe and to the tree trunk, to join him in this act of chopping. everything was alive and respected; the tree trunk, the earth, the axe, and his service here on earth. when he finished he squatted for a minute and said "finished". i thanked him. it is always almost sacred watching him and his wife do their  chores on the farm; no unnecessary words spoken, no unnecessary movements made, no unnecessary energy lost. they rest many times a day, enjoy laughing alot, and are constantly bringing me fruits and treats from their garden and kitchen, humbly, happily, quietly. 

this morning as i walked back from the sea to my house i turned at the corner, and behind me heard a motorbike coming. i was quite a distance away and just continued walking straight to the house. but just before the motorbike turned in the other direction some 20 meters behind me, there was a little "beep". i have learned to recognize these "beeps" are for me, (even though no boys ever tooted their horns at me when i was a teenager walking on the street!) and so i turned my head to the back and saw the priest/fisherman. he knows me from the neighborhood even though we have only said a few words to each other, and he just "wanted to say hello" with a "beep" of his motorbike. we smiled at each other and then he was out of sight, as he turned. i thought for a moment..."would i go out of my way to "beep" someone who is way ahead of me, that i don't really know that well, just to say "hello"? and what was obvious in his beep, was not that he wanted my attention, my recognition. no, he wanted to make ME feel good! he wanted to interact with me so that i would feel a part of a greater whole. not alone. just like the man with the great big smile earlier...it is so obvious to all of them that we are all "One".  

 

HAPPY NEW YEARS 2013

i guess it started about a month ago when i went into the big city and saw all kinds of big sparkly "things" hanging in the open front entrances of many of the shops. december 1....what could it be? and then when i returned to my village i started to hear loud cracks, and bangs and booms at all hours of the day, and realized that they were firecrackers going off. and that's what was for sale. so for the past month, morning noon and night, all over bali, kids have been saving up their pennies to pay $5 for a loud firecracker or fireworks....just during the daytime you don't really see any colors in the sky!

i remember last year when i was staying in a resort during new year's eve, the balinese gardener was in charge of setting things up for a bonfire and fireworks at midnight. we were a group of about 10 guests, and after a festive meal we went out on the beach to wait for midnight to see the fireworks. but suddenly at 11:45 there was a big boom. the german manager was shocked! it's not yet midnight! who lite the firecracker already?? and scolded the gardener and insisted he wait till midnight and THEN light it.  this kind of situation happens alot to me. that i am SURE that my way, is THE way. that fireworks and firecrackers are lit at midnight to celebrate the moment of the new year. right? but to the balinese, it is fun, and why not do it all month? and even today, january 1, they are still lighting firecrackers and fireworks...i just laugh.

the balinese family that rent out their new house to me that is situated on the grounds of the family compound, decided to make a fresh fish from the fisherman bar-b-que for his brothers and parents and all the families. it was tasty and nice, but i saw that i needed some "content". a friend that teaches quantum matrix meditation and owns a lovely resort in the neighboring village had invited me over for a guided meditation and singing and dancing, so, even though it was drizzling and i had no way to get there, i prayed that if it is meant to be, it will all work out fine, and i set off with my big standard balinese rain poncho that one and all wear in the rain, and stood on the main road.

as the clock ticked and i realized no transportation was passing and that soon i would be too late to join them at the resort, i decided to "dare" and just wave my hands in the air and stop the next car that drove by and see if they were going west towards the neighboring village. sure enough, the one car that passed, after a few minutes, stopped! nice! they opened the door and i realized that they were already a full car of balinese people, but they had no problem squishing together to let me in too.  they spoke english, knew the resort i was going to, and even though it was out of their way, they happily dropped me off right in front of it. i thanked them and blessed them that may this be the beginning of a wonderful new year where we all go out of our way to help one another!

i arrived on time, but balinese time, which is nicknamed "rubber time", because you "stretch" it alot...meaning that only in another hour would we start. it was a nice opportunity to meet the other 7 people that would be participating. one was a lovely, beautiful chinese woman that had hair down to her ankles, and is a healer and teacher of feminine style tai chi and qigong. she had brought a "gift" for all of us for the gathering; essential oils that enable "abundance" and had energized it and we would all be able to anoint ourselves with it, thus beginning the new year with "abundance consciousness".

after a small birthday celebration for one of the guests that was leaving, in which we all stood in a circle around him and rubbed the palms of our hands together and then made an energy ball which at the count of "three" we figuratively threw above his crown chakra thus blessing him with love and light, we headed towards the octagonal meditation room. 

a beautiful flower mandala, candles, and purple cushions set the tone in the room along with all the small buddha statues and spiritual paintings on the walls. after we each said a few words about who we were, the leader/owner, began the quantum matrix meditation. she is an excellent guide and lives what she teaches. a very powerful and beautiful and intelligent woman that lives in the Light and enjoys bringing others there too to interact together. 

the theme for the evening was "setting intentions for 2013". she began by inviting us to close our eyes and breath in white light through one nostril into our pineal gland ("third eye"), while closing the other nostril. and then slowly breathe out. this is a short cut to getting quickly into connection with a higher state. from there she guided us to go to our highest place of Light and peace and get in touch with the place in us that is nourished by this. as we delve into a deep connection with our truest self we were invited to envision what we want or need in order to nourish this life source in us. it can appear as a picture, a symbol, a color. and to invite that vision to manifest, if it be for the good of all, or any greater plan divine power may have for me, in the DNA of every cell of my body. after experiencing that sensation in us, we were invited to look over the year 2012 and see where were we 12 months ago? what issues did we have to work on then? what have we learned over the past year? how does that correlate with the vision we just had? the practice of quantum matrix healing meditation is to rise to a higher state, where we can have an overview of things, and be co-creators, instead of passive onlookers. we again connected to that vision and understanding we received  about our intention for the coming year. and then slowly "came back down to earth" and opened our eyes. we each took a turn sharing what is that place for us that allows me to be my truest most alive self, and how do we bring that new vision we experienced into our relationships this year? 

after another guided meditation again going through the same process but focusing on envisioning what we need in order to feel abundance? it can be an actual amount of money, or a state, and to envision what we would do with that abundance? what would it serve? and again, to feel and sense it, to see what symbol or color it is, and to pass that sensation and connection with abundance through our entire body. and again we shared in one word what we felt.

next, the beautiful small glass bottle with the essential oils of "abundance" were passed clockwise from one person, grateful to his neighbor, anointing the third eye, throat, and heart chakras with the small glass dropper of oil, and then the space around us. it was a very special ceremony. when our leader finished, she recommended that if we really want to manifest these changes in 2013, we need to take time in the morning and evening for the next month, and reconnect to our symbol or color and our intention and feel it in our body and release it to divine power to bring it about. 

i laughed as she said "this really really really really really really works." because i know it does! it has worked for me. almost everything i envisioned last november in the week workshop i did with her, has manifested. and i continue to use this tool daily and witness the miracles each time. and it has worked for her and her husband for over 25 years, and for the many people they have taught. she made an interesting comment that she believes that we can rise to a higher level of consciousness and be co-creators of our reality there. and that we are all going through evolution, but you can be active, or passive as you go through it. you can wait until it happens to you, or you can listen to messages you receive to participate in the evolution, or you can activate the evolution! 

it was an empowering experience and one of deep gratitude to her and to the universe for being able to participate with the other people in such ways. one woman, who happens to be the world champion hip hop dancer for her age group, then led us in a short hip hop lesson, after we had been led in a free style qigong lesson by the chinese woman. a good time was had by all, the others went down to the sea for a bonfire, guitar and singing, and fireworks. 

i still needed to get back home. in the north of bali, you don't walk around at night, and there is no transportation. it was 10:30 and i figured if it worked out until now, then also a ride will "appear" and i will get back home somehow. and sure enough, a moment later i was offered a ride with the balinese helper that had made the bonfire and was going home and agreed to go out of his way to drive me on his motorbike.

 the whole ride home the sounds of fireworks was going, but the streets were empty in both villages, other than two groups of young men that had set up huge speakers and had beer and were "hanging out" to await midnight. although i love the forest that surrounds the area i live in, it is not the open horizon that allows watching fireworks. 

and today, new years day, the kids were off from school and so the family rented a car, invited some nieces and nephews and drove to the big city 45 minutes away, to play in an amusement area in a department store. the dodge'em cars, and carousels were fun, the escalators were a challenge and scarey for the 6 and 8 year olds, as i remember well also from my childhood. and everyone got to pick out some new clothes afterwards, and a typical balinese meal of a plate of rice with a bit of chicken and sambal and some rice cracker, and off we drove back home, beginning january 1, 2013...here in bali.