i had just sat down on the bale in the front courtyard to eat my mango for breakfast and a youngish man walked into the courtyard and said hello, with a big smile. i answered back hello, and offered him some mango, he declined, saying he is going to eat breakfast now, and went into the kitchen and filled up a big plate brimming with white rice and a few condiments on it. he joined me outside and introduced himself as the owners younger brother, ketut. i was happy to get the chance to meet him, since she had told me she has a younger brother that worked in america, so here he is!
i asked if "he" is "THE younger brother" that worked in america, and indeed he is, but he is number eight out of 9 kids, so that was "by chance" that he was the one to come over today. what followed was a two hour conversation about life, bali, money, temples, family, cruise ships, balians (shamans), God, spirits, work, the future, children, loyalty, community, retirement, gratitude, meditation. this is a typical conversation for me here. it is always fascinating, and i am grateful to all those balinese that happen to speak fluent english and to be able to share with me their life and dreams and feelings.
he has been working on a cruise ship for 15 years, his wife and 5 and 1 1/2 year old daughters live in the capital, denpassar, and he gets a 3 month leave once a year to be with his family. the rest of the year he cleans cabins 10 hours a day, 7 days a week, and counts on tips from wealthy americans in order to earn a nice income. he is 37, feels stress from the work, and would like to retire from it in a few more years. in the meanwhile he spends tens of thousands of hard earned $ building his family temples here in his village, so that his ancestors, from generations past, may rest in peace, and that their spirits are not wandering around, or trapped in the sea.
he would like to know more about the spirit world of his ancestors, so he is trying to "clean out my thoughts" and be able to communicate with them. he is trying to learn how to meditate, and wanted to know if i am a teacher, since he saw me meditating yesterday too when he came by. he believes that if he can stay in positive thought, speech and actions, from an open heart, the energy in his crown chakra will flow and the spirits will be able to share what their life is like now. he knows that everything comes from God, and so even though people tell him he shouldn't be spending so much money on the temples and ceremonies, he feels he needs to return to god the abundance that he has received from his work on the cruise ship. not all of the other workers have so much abundance, since they gamble, or do not use their money wisely. he feels "clean" with himself and god, when he takes care of his ancestors, and insures that all the past generations have been looked after. someone had to do it, so he has been "chosen" and just "follows orders" by the balian (shaman/witch/healer) that directed him to a holy place at the foot of the mountains towards the south where two streams meet and there is a spring from which he must take the water from now on for all of the ceremonies the family does. the balian had never been to the place, but the spirit was speaking through her, and told her where he had to go. so he and his brothers wandered around the hills for a while, asking people if they know of such a place, and when they found it, he placed the incense and offerings he had brought with him, hoping to find it, and when the tears came down his cheeks he knew he was meant to be there, taking care of the spirits.
later he laughed how balinese people like to just sit around and talk, and that when he travels around the world, he doesn't see any "bale" where people sit outside together just talking, but that everyone is busy going someplace or doing something and inside their cars. i told him that i don't think it is because the balinese are lazy (which some people do think so), but that it is an opportunity for people to "connect". and through my understanding of the kabbalah studies it is through this connection of one open heart with another open heart, that something is created that did not exist when each of us was alone. and that when we are sharing and together, with the same intention of happiness and caring, and laughter, and gratitude, it brings pleasure to god, so....why not?! i told him that i think it is something very nice and natural by the balinese, that they always start up a conversation, give a big smile, tease someone they don't know by pinching them or making a silly sound so that the other person is confused and then they can giggle together as they peek and let on it was them....
he invited me to come to the ceremony of the new shrine he is building, which will be at the end of october, when he is back on the cruise ship, but since that is the auspicious day for dedicating the shrine, it must be respected, even if he cannot be there then because of his work. we thanked each other for the interesting conversation and went our ways...me to prepare some lunch, and him to speak with his sister. a few minutes later, as i sat down in the courtyard to eat my lunch, another young man walked in to speak with my landlord. he gave a big smile hello, even though we do not know each other, and removed his flip flops before entering the kitchen to speak with her. at that moment, i realized that they all give a big smile hello. and how stingy i am with big smiles when it comes to people i do not know.... and that if you're already going to smile at someone, you may as well make it a big one, no? and that if her brother hadn't given me a big smile and said hello when he passed me by, we would never have had such a nice conversation, because i wouldn't have been the one to initiate it. i am always grateful for their openness and friendliness. it gives a feeling like the folk song i once heard that " we are not strangers, just friends that haven't met each other yet".
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