peace and harmony

i keep trying to put my finger on what it is about the balinese that is different. everything is different, but i have a feeling that there is some source to this difference, that i am trying to uncover, discover, some basic belief that is so ingrained in them that they can't even tell me what it is because they don't know anything different from it. so each time i have a conversation with one of them, i try and find the connecting thread to the bigger picture.

i went to visit a family and was sharing how i had to move to a new place because i can't sleep so close to the road with all the noise. the 14 year old said that she too did not sleep last night because the neighbor was drinking because of the holiday and put on the music speakers so loud that none of the neighbors could sleep. i asked her if she had asked him to please turn it down. she looked at me surprised! and said no. i told her that maybe he doesn't know how loud it is for all of them, and if they just asked him to turn it down he would do it willingly. at this point in the conversation there is usually silence. there is no convincing, arguing, debating, they just become silent. i told them i am trying to understand the balinese way of thinking and acting, and that i don't know if the western way is right, but i want to understand why they wouldn't politely speak with him.

again, silence. then i asked if it has to do with karma? ( a head nod yes) and fear? (another head nod yes)...ego? (another head nod yes)..."In bali we seek peace and harmony. that is most important." I went on to tell her that angry neighborly relations doesn't sound like peace and harmony to me! if it didn't bother them, so fine...but it does bother them and they just don't dare say something. again silence...i realize i am stepping on sensitive ground now...i have accused them of being hypocritical, there is no retaliatory comment or attempt to convince me of their beliefs...just silence. so i start to put the words in their mouth:

"if someone comes to tell you that the music is loud and can they please turn it down, will they be considered egocentric?"

"yes, and the person will be angry with them for coming to their house to tell them this, and then there will be unpleasant neighborly relations. and they may do black magic to harm you because you complained."

"and if you don't say anything....then you remain with good karma, and the man playing the loud music and drunk has his own karma, and God will deal with him, instead of you?"

"Yes!" ( a sigh of relief that "the westerner" is finally "getting it"!)

so everyone is smiling, is friendly, never complains, never shames you or confronts you, embarrassing moments are relieved with much laughter by all, no shouting, no arguing,no anger, no heaviness, no raised voices, just a kind of playfulness and tolerance that is hard to believe. i keep watching the adults with the children, to see what is different here? how come the same behavior that western children do, is interpreted entirely differently here? the child is not considered selfish, egocentric, spoiled, naughty, impolite, chutzpa, demanding, self centered, just a child...no...he is treated as if he were an adult, and his needs and demands are met, so that there will be peace and harmony.

and the strange thing is, that when they grow up to be adults, they don't have big egos...they too place themselves at the service of others. so what about the neighbor that was drinking and playing loud music? where does he fit into this picture? i told my friend that God created the neighbor just like that, so there must be a reason...maybe in order for them to be able to practice peace and harmony with him?

and then when i got back home i was reading an entry from rabbi jacobson about the 60 days before rosh hashana:



"we were created in the image of G-d—we have holiness within us. And we can connect to the G-d within us by getting our selfish selves out of the way so that the holiness can surface.And we do so by acting like the holy beings that we are.

We are commanded in the Torah—our guidebook to life and our guidebook to freedom from slavery to the physical aspects of life—to be holy, like G-d. "You shall be holy, for I, the Lord your G-d, am holy." (Leviticus 19:2)

This means being compassionate, because G-d is compassionate. It means being patient, kind, just, loving, creative. When we become holy like G-d, we connect with G-d."

so this is what the balinese are striving for too. they just put it in a simpler form:

... the Balinese way of life, which encourages us to nurture harmony with spirit, nature and one another.

and possibly because the balance here between working and praying is the opposite of in the western world, with prayer and ceremony taking up most of the day, and work is what you do when you don't have a ceremony to prepare for or go to, then the result is felt when an entire country has this one higher aim.