the visit

She came to the open back door of the kitchen. She stood by the step with her hands together in front of her with an offering of a  folded banana leaf with 4 freshly steamed baby bananas in it. She was silent but her eyes sparkled with friendship and her smile of kindness and her quiet presence with love. I walked over and thanked her and took the little warm packet. Such a touching way to bring me this breakfast treat she had just made.

Then she sat down outside on the floor of the front porch, her legs dangling not quite able to reach the stones on the ground. She is the 61 year old grama of the compound. It is with her that I would sit in silence under the trees in the garden making the brooms from the coconut leaves. With her I sat for a month in her little hut of a kitchen and observed how to cook Balinese style food.

Everyday since I have returned she smiles and brings me a little present for my palette from her endless repertoire of treats. The other day is was steamed banana coconut cake, the day before that were some starfruits, some crispy warm banana fritters….i mumble a few words that she usually doesn't understand. And she answers me in words that I don't understand. But we understand each other perfectly.

This is the first time she has "come for a visit". I am not quite sure what to do. I leave the laptop and sit down next to her. We sit in silence. She muses at some of the seashells that fill a basket that me and the kids play with now and then. We continue in silence. I think that maybe she would enjoy seeing some of the creative ideas I have photographed that her grandchildren have made lately and that I photographed. So I open up the laptop and show her some of the photos…I don't think she has ever seen a computer, or even knew how to look at the glaring screen to see the images. After no response, I closed it. And just sat there.

We continued to sit in silence on the porch, looking straight ahead at the beautiful trees and flowers in the sunshine. I garbled a question about what kind of fish should I have bought the day before when I made the fish balls. "chukalang". It takes me a while to realize that what she has answered me is the name of the fish. Once I realize that her one word answer is the name of the fish I repeat it. She nods. We continue to sit there in silence. I can feel how at ease and natural it is for her to sit here in silence with me, looking out at nothing in particular. And how unnatural it is for me to sit here in silence with someone looking out at nothing in particular. I make an effort to just relax into the silence and nothingness of it all and tell myself that it "is enough". This can be our visit. Just sitting in silence together, looking straight ahead, at ease with each other. This is her way of showing me she likes me. She likes my company. She likes sharing space.

Then she gets up, motions to the sun, gestures in the direction of her house and gives a little wave of her hand. I nod and tell her "see you later".