immersion

I want to understand how the Balinese experience the world. I know it is an impossible desire, but something keeps pushing me to just immerse myself in their lives and whatever understandings come, so be it. So when the sister-in-law came over and mentioned that the sacred masked dance is this afternoon at the temple, I knew it was just what I wanted to do. I put on my temple clothes and looked like a beautiful Balinese woman …just American. I had familiarized myself with the prayer rituals and could pretty much follow the simple repetitive formula. I had gone early so that I wouldn't have to deal with the crowds that would soon be coming for the Ramayana performance. I sat down in a corner and for the next five hours just watched.

I watched how the women and men dress so beautifully how they treat their children like princes and princesses, how they hold their clasped hands in prayer, how the priests interact, how the helpers arrange the surroundings together, how everyone is laughing, how brothers and sisters come together and take care of each other, how the women walk with the tall offerings on their heads, how the policemen try and make order but in the end always are lenient and let whatever is just be. I watched how no matter how crowded it gets, everyone makes room for another person, how the atmosphere is easy, joking, teasing each other by tapping on someones shoulder and then hiding when the person turns around to see who it was, how all the debris is all around from the used incense sticks and flowers, and plastic bags and water bottles strewn all over, and it doesn't make any difference to anyone.

After two hours the performance ends and just like they pushed to get into the temple courtyard to watch it, now they push to get out, and everyone laughs. As I exit with them I realize that the uniformed men gamelon players are coming in. I ask one of them if they will be playing music now and he says yes, so I turn around and go back in. I kind of hope that if I immerse myself in this music long enough, I will begin to understand it and "hear" it in all of its' many layers of sound. Lend up staying another few hours, just leaning against the wall watching the devotees coming and going. Two gamelon orchestras are playing in turn. A village chanter is singing into the microphone. The priest is ringing the small hand held bell nonstop, and the other priest is reciting into another microphone the prayers and mantras.all of this is going on full volume, all at once, outside in the courtyard with rounds of 600 people entering and exiting every 30 minutes or so, with their offerings.

After standing there listening and watching all of this for another 3 hours I began to sense that I was no longer listening with my ears. They could no longer serve any purpose in relation  to what was going on simultaneously. And I began to feel how my entire body had just turned into one big sensory organ. That my skin was breathing these sounds these impressions. I began to understand what it means to be immersed in something, and that this is how they live their lives. They are just totally immersed in a 360 degree sensory experience that has nothing to do with their eyes and ears. The minute gestures and sounds of people, animals, nature, are being sensed with their entire being. The intellect is not at work here. There is a kind of body/ mind that is open and receptive. They seem to be an integral part of the nature, totally immersed in it. At one.