the contract

While we were riding on the motorbike to the ceremony a few days ago, there was suddenly a crowd of people gathered on the sides of the narrow main road, and the street was scattered with palm leaf ornaments along with rice and food stuffs…a few moments later I realized that there had been an accident. But we continued as planned and went to the temple.

Then today while visiting the priest, he mentioned that his young son who is an outstanding puppeteer too, cannot join us since he is busy playing the gamelon at the cremation. I was surprised to hear there was a cremation today, and asked who had died. My friend said it was the young mother that was in the accident a few days ago that we passed on the way to the temple. I let out a groan of aching pain to think that a young mother died on the way to the ceremony, with her offerings scattered there. The priest and my friend did not say anything more about it and continued to talk of other subjects.

When we came back home I asked my friend how the Balinese feel about a young mother dying on the way to the ceremony. He said that it is looked on as something very special.

"She has finished her contract. This life is just a debt she owes and when she is done paying it, the contract is ended and she does not need to be here anymore. It does not matter that she was young and healthy and that it happened in a moment, or whether she is old and sick and it is taking a long time. Each of us has a contract that is kept until it is fulfilled."

I asked if he knows how the accident happened.

"Yes, she was holding onto her nephew that was driving the motorbike, and in her other hand she was holding a very large offering she had made. A motorbike driving very fast passed them in the opposite direction without touching them, but she was worried that her large offering would fall, so she let go of holding onto her nephew in order to hold the offering with two hands, and then fell head down onto the street and died of a concussion a few hours later."

I asked how the nephew feels?  How the husband and children feel? How the family relates to it all?

"It is a trauma. But they must all go through the 5 stages of mourning now. First denial, then anger, then bartering, then resignation, and only afterwards will they be able to accept this."

"Who will help all of them go through this process?"

"We are very lucky here in bali to have large clans and family that come and support us. We do not need to cope alone. They will come, bring something small to eat, just say hello, make a joke, keep them company. In time everything will pass."