interactions

interacting with the balinese is a challenge and a pleasure for me. it demands that i be calm, attentive, intuitive, quiet, and in a receptive mode with my entire body. accusing someone of being arrogant is pretty much the worst insult you can give them. things need to be stated in a kind, respectful, lightness, of honor and equality. i notice that the less i speak, the more words of wisdom i hear from them, the more puzzle pieces i collect as i try and understand their mentality and lifestyle.

when i went to visit one of my balinese girlfriends the other day, i felt she was wise beyond her 20+ years...as we shared about how unpleasant it is to speak with people who complain and blame, she said "i just imagine it is a radio station that is full of static and is playing in my ear and making lots of noise that i do not listen to. if i would listen to them, then i would start to be busy thinking about all of the things they had just told me and my mind would become like a washing machine and i would get very tired from it. it is different if you are busy doing things and you get tired, then all you have to do is lay down, sleep a little and your body becomes recharged and empowered. but if instead of physically doing something, anything, you just sit and think and worry about stuff, that kind of tiredness takes much longer to recharge and leaves you without inner power." our conversation was interupted by an anxious phone call from her boss requesting that she do something now instead of later. she calmly answered "yes", hung up the phone, and within a minute had thought up a great solution and took care of it with another short phone call. i marveled at how her mind is so quick at problem solving. she said "first, i always answer "yes", no matter what she asks me to do. that way the conversation ends quickly and i can get on with solving things in the best way for me. if i begin to explain things to her, it just turns into anxiety, confusion, complaints. this way i stay peaceful, a good solution solves things quickly, and she is happy that i answered her "yes", even if i know that i myself cannot do what she has just asked me to do. but i will find someone that can and that is all that is important for me, is to help her get what she needs with as little explaining as possible.' i asked her if this is balinese style to always answer "yes". she said that not really, but when dealing with westerners that get overwhelmed and excited from challenges, it is best to do it.

amerta has been sharing alot of his dreams and visions with me as he builds his new home on land in his fathers backyard in the forest near me. a word that he has mentioned often in the last couple of days in our conversations, as i settle in to life here, is "patience". his slow thoughtful and soothing voice instill it in you! he told me how it will take a month for the workers to build his house. and that he always had a dream to have a house in the forest in the village, and suddenly a month ago it became possible, and so he drew a picture of the house he wanted, asked the priest when is an auspicious day for building a house, was told that on june 28th he should start, he put up a little altar, and on that day his friend, the head builder, dug a small hole, they put in the first stone, with the priest, and that is how it all began. and now it is a week later and the house is about a quarter finished. all of the workers are his friends; one is a carpenter, one a mason worker, etc. and so it is a nice feeling for him to come see how his house progresses each day with the help of all of his friends that are building it so nicely for him. they receive $4 a day, and the head receives $7 , for an 8 hour work day. from 11-1 when it is hottest, they lay down in the shade on the bricks or earth and rest. he is already planning how he will grill fish that his childhood friend turned fisherman, will bring him since they will be neighbors, and how he will plant short coconut trees that have the beautiful small yellow coconuts used for ceremonies, and that will be a nice color to see among the other green trees of the forest. they will also be profitable, since they give alot of fruit and this region is especially suited for growing them because of the mountains to the south and the sea to the north. the wood for his roof is from 50 year old trees that he cut down on another piece of property he had and sold in order to build this house. "we don't have enough money to finish it now...maybe only 80%. but slowly slowly we will save more money, and put down floor tiles, and plaster." his wife sold their laptop so they would have some money to build the house....he goes the 10 minute ride from the village to the forest each morning at 6 in order to make offerings at the altar of the building site, praying that all the workers will be healthy and happy and there will be no handicaps, no accidents.

when i unpacked the few things that i had left here in storage by my landlord, i realized that my speakers and discman were no longer in the bag i placed them in. i was sad to realize that he had stolen them. i had been forewarned not to leave any valuables, and he even asked what was in the plastic bag, and i purposely told him the ordinary things that were in it, other than the electronic items, so as not to bring attention to them. but, i guess you just open it up and take everything out in any case, hoping to find something worth stealing. i had shared my disappointment with amerta, that they had been stolen by my landlord, and also how i don't really want to lock my door every time i leave the house now. he said "stealing does not come from the mind. it comes from the emotions. if you do not lock it, someone sees it is open and just wants to have a peek inside, then when he sees something, he wants it. you must lock your door when you leave the house." i wondered if there was any point in approaching my landlord about the missing items, or just cross it off as a lesson learned. i asked some balinese friends what they would do. "ask him if maybe he saw the speakers and discman somewhere, because you don't know where they are. or that maybe he can look in the storage again and see if they were left there by accident because they were there when you left them. that way you are giving him a chance to return them." i didn't have a lot of hope, but i thought it would be worth a try. and with all sincerity i casually remembered that "oh, i unpacked the plastic bag you brought me and i don't know what happened to the speakers that i use for the hoola hoop music when i teach and the discman that i use for learning indonesian while i hoola hoop. maybe they are still in the locker. so when you have a chance maybe you can check again." as soon as i said it he said, "ah, yes, now i remember there was something in the back corner, and it could be that, i will have a look." and within a few hours, they were returned to me by the proud landlord that had "found" them for me. i was grateful. win win.

this morning i decided to try my luck with going to a local "warong" where one of the women in the neighborhood cooks vegetables and rice and fish and tofu and sells it to the villagers. this is a practical solution for delicious fresh, cheap, spicey, home made food that most families opt for since they eat the food at room temperature anyways, and alone, whenever each one wants to eat, and not as a family gathering. this specific one (and there are many!) had been recommended to me as a vegetarian one. as i approached the little storefront with 4 little stools for those that want to eat there, or where those waiting in line can sit down, i was greeted in balinese by a big smiling balinese woman who was also waiting in line for her take away, that asked me in balinese if i want to buy food too? i couldn't understand her, but laughed, and she laughed, and then with sign language and slower speech we were able to communicate and she guided me through my first "fast food" purchase. i was 5th in line so i got a chance to see how the others ordered and portion sizes. as i stood there i suddenly recognized another woman sitting next to me. but from where? she smiled and said hello to me. it was the daughter of my neighbor that had charged me 5 euro for the meal the day before....aha....so i wasn't wrong....she really did just send her daughter over here, paid 50 cents for the food, and then put it on a nice plate and tray with a napkin and velvet lid, and carried it royally over to me and asked for 5 euro! i had tried to tell myself when it happened that i must be mistaken, that she wouldn't do something like that, she must have gone shopping and was busy in the kitchen cooking that delicious food for me for hours, so perfectly spiced. but, alas, she too knows where the good cheap fast food restaurant is, like me, and was waiting in line to take home todays food. i was happy there was no embarrassment or anything, we were both just buying lunch for today.

when my turn came the other women in the place told the chef what to put in a bag for me, as i made a hand motion as if "the same" that she had just packed up in the little paper triangle food pack she had made a minute before. then they pointed at a green banana leaf "packet" that had been grilled and do i want that too? and also these little triangular leaf packets? yes yes, give me some of everything! they laughed, i paid a big $1.20 and thanked them. when i got home hours later and unpacked everything, it was a lovely surprise of all kinds of delicious spicey foods. but the most fun was unwrapping the narrow banana packet and discovering that there were 3 little spicey sardines all cuddled up next to each other there for me to eat. i laughed, since for the past 10 years i have been buying canned sardines 3 times a week at home as my protein at lunch time. the last time i bought them at the grocery in israel, a woman was standing next to me, waiting for me to finish taking my 10 cans so that she too could buy some. she said that she had switched brands and found that these portugese ones were the best. so i switched my 10 for the one she recommended....and today, i thought, ah...if only she knew how good it is to eat these fresh spicey smoked sardines from my little village, that are wrapped in banana leaves instead of a tin can.