ways to heal

A few days ago, while doctoring a sore on my foot that started, I suddenly felt very achy and weak. I thought it was part of the surprise infection I had and didn't give it much thought and just went to bed earlier than usual. But during the night I realized that my whole body just ached and by the time morning came, I could barely move. I lay in bed and realized that I had no life force in me. It was a strange feeling. Something I take as a given, was no longer accessible. Also feeling nauseous, I realized that my best option was to just stay put, fast, and wait till it passed.

As I lay there falling in and out of sleep, I realized that even to lift my hand to pick up the glass of water next to me, was beyond me. I would have to concentrate on that intention for quite a while until slowly something inside of me managed to touch the glass and eventually get it to my mouth. It was such a strange feeling. Nothing really hurt anymore, just the disappearance of the ability to do anything. I lay there alone most of the day believing that it was getting better and not worse, and just sleeping.

 Unexpectedly the grandma came to bring me some starfruits. She found me in bed. Since our language of choice is that each of us speaks, knows the other one doesn't understand, but are sure that we are understood, and somehow it works. Silently, she began putting her palms on the exposed parts of my body; arms, legs…just kind of mushing them around a bit, just as natural as if it were her own body. Just the touch of her hands and her presence and casual manner of touching me already made me feel better. Still I lay there, unable to get up. She continued to sit on my bed. Just sitting…looking nowhere in particular. Silent. The next thing I knew she grabbed the hand broom I wisk my bed with each morning and started shooing something away in the space above and in front of her. She placed the broom back next to my bed and as she stood there I watched her "listening". She looked like someone trying to find a fly or mosquito that they hear but haven't found yet. Her eyes darted from right to left as she was motionless  but fully attentive to "something" in the room. After a few minutes she again took the broom and "cleared the air" around my bed, and finished with whoever she had shooed away,she left.

A  few hours later, when it was time to give the evening offerings, she entered my bedroom to place the flowers and incense in the altar over my bed. I watched her. When she finished she motioned me that she wants to bless me too. I managed to sit up, and in typical blessing position placed my palms upwards in front of me so that she could sprinkle the holy water on them for me to drink. When she finished the usual ritual she then continued with a handful of cooked rice which she wiped on my palms. She then repeated the movement collecting any actual pieces of rice that had stayed on my palms. She suggested that I shower.

When she left, I lay down again, and my palms automatically went to my heart chakra and solar plexus and rested there. I was familiar with the healing power of my palms on myself and others, but I had never realized that it is specifically our palms that have this healing power. It struck me as interesting that that would be the same place that the holy cooked white rice would touch in order to bring about a healing. It is also a major opening for receiving energy while practicing qigong to bring to the entire body. After a while I was able to get up and shower and changed my clothes. She sent over a small bowl of rice porridge (the Balinese equivalent to chicken soup if you are sick). It felt perfect in my empty stomach. I knew I was on my way to health. By morning I was again able to get out of bed with my own natural energy. Healed.

It was an interesting 30 hours, with many lessons learned. I had been so diligent with making the offerings every day, I couldn't figure out how some evil spirits had crept into the house and took me prisoner. But once I saw how the grama had swatted them out I realized they are part of reality and that it is just like weeds in the garden…they will always show up, and if allowed to stay, they multiply. If tended daily, they are removed and the garden stays healthy and attractive.

 The following night when I went to sleep I realized that I have indeed adopted many of the Balinese manners, other than sleeping with windows and doors closed and lights on and with your clothes on. I still kept my window and curtain wide open and slept in the dark, naked. But after witnessing the serious response of the grama to the invisible spirits, I figured I prefer to be on the safe side. Being without any power for one day was enough for me. So I closed my door and window and curtain and thought I would suffocate, since it is warm and I am used to sleeping with an open window always. And then I realized why they have a very intricately carved piece of wood above each window….so that the air comes in but the spirits stay out. And to my surprise, instead of feeling claustrophobic, I awoke in the morning with a feeling as if I had been asleep in a cocoon, safe and sound and in sync with the natives.