today is the day before the 42nd day ceremony for my friends niece that was just born. this symbolizes the purifying of the mother so that she will be able to return to the temple and make offerings and will no longer be impure after giving birth. the baby will have her own purifying ceremony at 6 months, when her hair, which is considered impure because the mothers blood has touched it, will be shaved off at that ceremony allowing her too to enter the temple. this particular village that i am visiting has the ritual of making a very big ceremony at 42 days, and so members of the clan and family came over today to help with the slaughtering of the pig and duck and preparing quantities of food for the offerings and for all the helpers.
when the preparations had ended in the afternoon, my friend said that she will accompany her mother to visit a woman that will tell them who the soul of the baby is. the time for this to be done is before the ceremony tomorrow, so they will be leaving soon. i was very curious, but knew better than to ask if i could join them. experience has taught me that if i am meant to be there, they will ask me, and if not, then not. just as they were walking to the car to leave, her mother asked if i would like to join them. "Yes!" and i quickly put on the sash, that symbolizes this is sacred, and left with them.
we drove about 10 minutes through the village, which is always a treat. i just love looking down the little paths, at the architecture, vegetation, and what the people are doing on the streets and in the little shops. we parked the car and walked down little lanes with lush vegetation, and i felt i was in some magical world. each time we took a turn, another hidden path leading to more compounds even more picturesque, would appear, and i just kept sighing from awe.
the last time the grandmother had been here was 29 years ago when her third child was born. they were told then that the soul of her husbands mother. was in their daughter. they were very pleased. his mother had died when he was young, so this was a nice condolence for him. as we walked down the paths i wondered if she would still recognize the house. and yes, she did, we entered a large square shaped compound with a big courtyard that we crossed in order to walk up a few steps to the family temple that is on the grounds. there were a few altars and a small room with a little porch with three old wooden benches. 9 people were sitting on them, listening to the old woman that was inside the room. the door was open, and the room was big enough for a small table and her chair. they were wiping their eyes from tears. i asked my girlfriend why. she said that they had come to ask about the souls of the father, who had died and of the son who died 14 months later. maybe there was something wrong in the family that needed healing?
we waited on the side another twenty minutes until they had finished. there were no appointments, you just come, and if she is there, you can speak with her when it is your turn. we changed places with those that just left and i positioned myself on the bench so that i could see the woman that was able to tell you about your soul. she was probably 70 or so, with white hair in a bun, and wearing a blue kabiya lace blouse. an offering is brought to her, with whatever you want to put inside; fruits, flowers, money, and she lights incense sticks and places them in the straw basket with the offering on the table and asked the grandmother, father, and his sister (my friend) to help her to get in touch with the spirit.
after that one sentence, without asking any other questions, she closed her eyes and bent her head downwards and began to speak. she asked if they had come to know the soul of the baby, and that she is a girl, right? the three family members gave short one word answers of yes, or names, as the woman spoke. she finished after about ten minutes. they thanked her, took the offering back home, minus what she took out of it, and walked back to the car.
they were quietly excited. they were told that the soul of the baby, is that of the mother of the grandfather. that means the same soul is also in his third daughter (30 years old) and also in his new grandaughter! i found this quite interesting, since the third daughter is now 7 months pregnant, after trying for 5 years, and was busy holding and caring for the little baby all of the time. it was so funny to see her with her little belly, holding a tiny newborn, like a trick of the eye. i wondered why she was with the baby more than the babys' own mother, and now it turns out they have the same soul. when we returned to the house, i asked if she thought that there was something special between her and the baby. she said that she was the first one to know that her sister-in-law was pregnant and also accompanied her to her first doctor appointment, and has felt very connected to the baby from the start. so yes, she was not surprised to learn they have twin souls.
the other comments the old woman had mentioned was that the soul of the great grandmother has been living outside of bali, and the baby has a face like a foreigner (which is true!). when i first saw the baby yesterday, my friend commented to me that she has a nose like mine, and not like balinese people! i laughed. other comments had to do with exact names of family members, and their caste and bits about their life.
the father of the baby had brought his i-pad with him and cleverly photographed the session so that the other family members that hadn't come, would be able to hear it all too. naturally the grandfather was very happy to hear that his mothers' soul was also in his new grandaughter. it is clear to everyone that once a woman marries a man here she becomes one hundred percent part of his family. so there was no possibility that the soul would be from the mothers family, but only from her husbands'.
i asked my friend why it is important for them to know who the soul is. she said that it brings a feeling of love and closeness and honor to the relationship with the baby throughout their life, knowing that it is one of their beloved family that has returned to them! i laughed and said that for starters, you better love and respect all of your family members, because if not, you may end up with the soul of someone that was not one of your favorite relatives!
the whole idea of reincarnation is very prominent in everyones' lives here. people also speak about "old souls" and "young souls". especially when you know whos' soul is in your child it kind of makes the whole cyclical nature of life/death/reincarnation much more tangible and invites much love and tolerance for everyone, knowing they are doing their best. as we drove back home in the car and my friend began to tell me everything that was said to them in balinese, i asked if this woman can tell souls also of westerners, like me. her mother said that yes, of course, she invites the souls from the world to communicate with her, so it doesn't matter if they are from bali or not. i laughed and said that maybe i could find out if i lived in bali in one of my incarnations and that's why i feel so at home here!
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