balance

as i went to place the little square banana leaf offering with rice on the small altar in the garden this morning, i was surprised to find a lovely red rambutan fruit on a little square of banana leaf, inside the altar! it touched my heart when i realized that earlier in the morning the family living on the compound had been picking the ripe rambutan to bring them to market. and now i realized that you don't just "bring them to market", first you make an offering of thanks, and then you bring them to market.

next, i sat down on my porch to eat the plateful of sliced fresh papaya for breakfast. as i enjoyed the color and taste i recalled how i used to laugh when i would see the girls walking along the path with a big long papaya on their head! it just seemed so odd to me that you put it on your head, instead of carrying it in your hand. but now, when i sat here reflecting on how my understanding and appreciation of things has changed with time here, i realized that by placing it on their head and walking, their bodies remained perfectly balanced....there was not a big heavy papaya in one hand.

this suddenly connected to the way they sweep. only the right hand is used (for everything, since the left is considered "dirty" because of its' use in personal hygiene) and the left hand is placed behind their back. at first, when i saw people sweeping like this in india, and here, i was impressed by their attentiveness and distinguished stance. but once i started sweeping too, i felt how unbalanced my body felt with my left hand just hanging there at my side. and when i tried to imitate them and place it folded at the elbow on my back, everything felt more balanced. 

and in my never ending attempt to put my finger on "what is it" that makes bali and the balinese so different than other countries and peoples, i thought "aha! maybe it is the importance of balance in their lives!"  i see it with them as they climb up a coconut tree, or as they walk on the narrow ridges of the boat out at sea, in perfect balance. it is also part of the blessings i pray each day..."that our shadow side, our dark side, will be in balance today". it is really the first time in my life that i am willing to accept that we do have a shadow/dark side and that it is inherent to everything! until now i kept hoping and believing that if i just try hard enough to "be in the light" than there won't be any dark! but now i realize that there is always a shadow, and that all that is needed is balance...that it is not greater than the light.

it is in their food too...the hot spicy sambal and chilies that characterize typical balinese food, is balanced by the bland white rice they eat it with. and it is also in their life style! foreigners used to laugh saying "if they don't have a ceremony they work!" and commenting how every other day is a ceremony here and how little the people actually work, and how much money they spend on all the offerings for the ceremonies. it did seem quite strange, compared to our western lifestyle. that people live such a poor physical existence but spend half of their salary on ceremonial offerings. also there didn't seem to be such a strong emphasis on a work ethic here. on the other hand, they really do not have the habit of "taking a vacation". there is no such thing as that here. most people work 7 days a week their whole life. so it is as if this balancing act of work and prayer without a typical 40 hour work week, is what brings balance to their lives on a daily basis, thus making it unnecessary to "take vacation"...since there is nothing to take vacation from...life is just in the now and in balance.

so often i find myself feeling "odd man out" here, as i carry something or do things. it seems as if i am the only one carrying things in my hands that are slipping or odd shaped, or making movements that are clumsy or exaggerated. i believe that they have been raised with a great accent on balance, so that whatever they do, the solution will be found first by staying balanced, and then getting to where you need to go, and not like my own sense of urgency at the price of how things may be out of balance, but at least they are getting done!

this same balance can be seen in their quiet voice tone, and laughter when ever possible. when they work, few words are spoken, and always very quietly. but if there is an opportunity to laugh with someone, than that is what also keeps a healthy balance within. this balance is also sensed in situations that in the west would excite strong reactions; like death, accidents, surprises, suddenly meeting people...their response is one of outward calm and connectedness. no big hugs, or screams or yelling...maybe they stop for a moment, and reflect and then continue on with life.

what i have mentioned are all of the observations i have seen of balance. but i also think there is a much greater balance in the unseen, but exists here. i feel it when i walk through the forest in the morning and placed in the forest, in each persons' plot of land, are the altars, and temples that bring a balance to living life and expressing gratitude for it... a lovely balance that makes life feel magical.