visions

18 years ago i ended a 4 year period of therapy. lots of painful memories came to the surface and it was not an easy time in life, but important. the "period" at the end of the sentence was doing a long weekend biography workshop which helped me appreciate and understand the importance of everything i went through, and to see it all in a positive and necessary light for my destiny in life. the six participants were guided to close our eyes and listen to any message we were to receive. mine surprised me! i saw myself from behind, dressed in white and walking towards a brilliant white light. everything was bathed in this light, and i knew that all was good. it was a strange image...kind of like seeing heaven, and i had no idea where it came from or what it meant but felt reassured that in the end it will be magnificent, and i knew it was mine for life. afterwards i never gave it much thought, other than gratitude for having experienced it.

when i decided to come to bali 2 years ago i looked for a place by the sea where i could watch the sunrise. i have no idea where that need came from, but it was top priority. and so when i found my little village here on the north eastern shore, it was only natural that i woke up each morning for the past almost 2 years, and watched the sunrise. it was like the nourishment my body, mind and soul needed each morning

so i sit there from 5:30 until 7:00, watching the sky and sea change colors, the dark silhouettes of the fishing boats going out to sea, the overhanging leaves and branches framing the misty distant curving shoreline adding to the drama of seeing the peak of the far off mountain on the island of Lombok. by the time i finish journalling and doing my tai chi and qigong on the sand, or stones (depending on the tide) the sun is shining brightly. it kind of dances like sparkly stars on the water. and sometimes i feel like a 5 year old just looking at it and not comprehending that it is a reflection and just make believe it really is lots of little sparkly stars that are jumping on the sea.

this morning when i opened my eyes at the end of the qigong series the sun was already higher in the sky than usual and instead of little stars on the water, a carpet of bright white light flooded the sea. it looked so familiar, and i just stood there, in gratitude for such a magnificent sight. and then suddenly realized that i was standing in my vision of 18 years ago! this is exactly what i had seen, not realizing it was the morning suns' reflection on the sea. i was touched and in awe that there is some greater plan going on that i have no idea about...i just show up and do what i am supposed to be doing...and find myself in my intuitive visions of years ago. 

the same thing happened when i "saw" myself sitting at a potters' wheel, even though i had never seen one before...and a year later, i was a potter, sitting at the wheel. there is still one more vision that i received back then...and i await to witness its' realization too one day!