the usual synchronicity...i walked to the neighboring resort to see if a friend had arrived, and while i was walking to her room, the manager saw me and invited me to come at 5 a.m. the following morning to participate in an activity they were having. i couldn't quite catch the name, but figured, why not? my friend was not there, and so i returned home, laughing to myself how i didn't find her, but instead found a pre-dawn activity, nice! so it meant waking up at 3:45 to go shopping for food at the marketplace, and then get back to her by 5 and then sunrise at the sea, and then the rest of the day unfolding.
i arrived with a flash light in the pitch dark, and found a few balinese people dressed in white, arranging a small fire pit and flowers. i thought it was going to be a talk about eco culture, or something, so this surprised me. i said hello to the balinese manager that was arranging flower offerings for the guests, and took off my flip flops like one does on the temple grounds in order to sit on them. she suggested i put them "outside the circle" and i suddenly looked down and realized i was standing on a beautiful flower mandala that they had made! i apologized, moved them to the other side of the black stones that created the frame for the mandala, and sat down. a few other foreigners arrived, and it began.
one young balinese man with the longest most delicate fingers i had ever seen, would be acting as "the priest" as he blessed the bell he was ringing and the fire and all of us. then the 5 balinese began to sing hindu mantras. the western yoga teacher that had done an evening of mantra singing a few nights previously, knew them all and joined in, as did a few of the guests. i assumed it was what is sung in ashrams in india, since most of the foreigners had spent time there too, and were swaying to the singing, even though the balinese sang while in a meditative pose.
i wasn't quite sure what i was doing there. i had never heard balinese singing mantras and wondered how i would feel here if this indeed was the way they prayed...if i would connect to it more, less, learn all the words of the gods, want to sway like the foreigners that are in bliss, or would copy the balinese that seemed more intent on bringing pleasure to god and not to themselves....and do i even connect to any of this? and is this just a show for foreigners? and meanwhile i kept peeking to see if the sun was rising yet since i didn't want to miss that either.
at one point we were invited to toss our flower petal offerings into the fire as a sacrifice. so i grabbed my handful and tossed them in...only moments later realizing that it was a song that repeated a chorus at which point a few petals were tossed in each time. oops...sorry guys...didn't know...so i just sat there watching the others gracefully offering the petals to the fire each time. next we were invited to put our letters in the fire. what letters? so i quickly wrote a letter to god with my sincere intention and when gestured by one of the men in white, i clumsily got up and flung it into the fire, feeling like an elephant in a china shop! the priest was ringing the bell and singing and making all of his gestures in such humbleness and simplicity, compared to me. how do they do it?
by now the sun had risen, and the songs were taking on a more festive tone. hand clapping was added and the mantras were with a caller and then the rest of us repeating what he just sang. they were also speeding up. and suddenly the melody was familiar! i just laughed inside at how god was having fun with me, since it was the song "an you were happy on your holidays" (v'samachtah b'hagecha) which is sung on simchat torah which had just been celebrated the day before in israel!. so they sang the names of the gods, and i sang in hebrew, and as the hand clapping got faster and faster the next melody resembled the song sung on passover "one kid" (chad gadyah)....
just before it ended the manager announced that we would now be ending the agni hotri ceremony. what?! this was the famous agni hotri ceremony that i have been reading about for years and always wanted to participate in but it was too far away and too expensive?! "right here in rivercity!" i laughed inwardly how suddenly everything took on a holier and more profound quality now that it had a name and was something special! it wasn't just some balinese singing mantras at sunrise and blessing us, as usual at all ceremonies...
when it was over, and the sun had risen some of the participants, all dressed in temple clothes (oops, apologized again...) wanted their photos taken with the 5 balinese priests that had led it. i volunteered to take their photo, and as i stood up and took a few steps backwards to frame the photo, i couldn't figure out why my sarong looked so off center, only to suddenly realize, again (!) that it had come untied and was falling off of me while i was taking their photo. again, quickly grabbing the ends to tie them back on my waist i realized that we were sitting in an even bigger mandala than i had realized....and everyone was dressed in temple clothes, and their flip flops were outside the outer circle! mine being the only ones inside the mandala....oh well...maybe their finesse and delicacy will slowly rub off on me if i stay here long enough.
i went over to thank the manager for her gracious invitation and to tell her how this had always been a dream of mine...and here it happened! she introduced me to the priest that had led so beautifully the singing, all acapella, and it turned out that they are from an ashram down in klung klung in the south of bali, where they perform this ritual every morning at 5, and at sunset. and if one of the tourists wants to "order" an agni hotri ritual, they come to the resort. it was nice to know that there are things like this going on here in bali, because until now the locals are very practical and laid back with prayer and are more involved with the ceremonial aspect of offerings. and again i was reminded how much this religion has in common with my jewish roots! and i was happy on my holidays,
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