shaving her head

today was nyomans babys' "6 month old" ceremony. it symbolizes the day that the baby can now be put down on the ground, after having been held in peoples hands since born, or laying in a bed. the belief is that the baby is protected from the evil spirits that crawl along the ground. it also symbolizes the day that their head is shaved; a type of cleansing and that now the hair can grow healthy and strong from a clean new scalp. i asked if i could come watch the ceremony, and she said it would be very small, just family, but yes. the size of the ceremony depends on how much money you have at the moment to put out for it, which means refreshments for everyone, offerings, paying a priest, etc.

when i arrived at 3:30 as planned, i found her just about to get dressed. the communal shower from the spring is a 5 minute walk from her house, and where the villagers go if they want to shower. most of the people do not have a shower in their home, or even running water, but it can be brought from near by. her mother in law was holding the baby, which is a more or less permanent status for the grandparents when there are small babies. they just grab one of the sarongs and quickly make a sling and walk around with the baby on them while the parents are working or busy. also, nyoman lives in a small 4 bedroom complex, with her husband, 8 year old daughter, 6 month old baby, her in-laws, and and another aunt, uncle, baby unit. each family has a room a little bigger than the size of their small bed, with a curtain to have some privacy, and they are one next to the other, that is the house. the kitchen is always in a separate structure across from the living quarters.

nyoman invited me to join her first at the family temple in their backyard where all ceremonies begin. we entered a courtyard with rows of small altars, kind of like pigeon coops, she explained that this is where one comes for permission in order to begin a ceremony. when we were children we had to ask our parents permission before doing things, and now we are adults and we continue to ask for their permission before we perform a ceremony. another altar there, other than of the parents (even though they are still alive) is one for brahma, vishnu and shiva (creative force, the living force, and the destructing force). here one brings an offering ( a small basket with hard boiled egg, a tangerine, some cakes, flowers....incense) and asks that these forces will protect them during the ceremony if you do not take a moment before doing things in order to turn to these three forces and acknowledge them and their assistance then things can happen just because you did not turn to them first for their protection. the third altar we put an offering at was for the ancestors. and this is just to wish them that they continue to stay where they are peacefully. so the short ceremony there was a short prayer next to each one and then putting some food down for them. she compared it to a king and his servants, she gives the servants some food so that they will be satisfied, and not come over to her house and do things with their food. the last action we took was again kneeling down opposite the 2 altars and apologizing if in our humble way we made any mistakes in the ceremony procedure.

a baby is only considered a person once they are three months old. then a 3 month old baby ceremony is held and they are named, and are allowed to come into the temple and family temple too. (i think this is the same in judaism, when a baby younger than 3 months dies) only the two of us performed these actions. the grandmother and nyomans husband (called nyoman!) and the baby and little girl waited on the steps of the patio of the house.

when nyoman came back to everyone she arranged another offering and placed it the corner on the sidewalk in front of their house. she said this was for the placenta. that when the baby is born the mother takes the placenta home in a bowl made from natural materials. and is to bury it in front of the house. and from then on, one feeds the placenta during ceremonies and birthdays so that it too will continue to be nourished and guard the baby (and later child!) from any evil. she pointed out that when little babies suddenly smile or giggle, it is because the invisible spirits of the placenta are playing with the baby, and it is only us humans that can't see it happening. the interesting thing for me is in all of these offerings, that it is only the act itself at that moment that has any value, a minute later the offering can be physically eaten by the family and guests. but what is important is the intention when you put it down and blessed it. this physical act is necessary, but just like elijahs cup, they do not wait to see some food actually disappear.

when we walked back, her husband was busy in the bedroom organizing some cd on their little television with balinese dancers and music as backdrop for the ceremony that was to begin. if the family has money and it is a large family affair, then live dancers, and a gamelon band would have been there too. she invited me in to the tiny bedroom where the ceremony was going to take place. they gave me a tiny stool to sit on. the husband and daughter on the floor, and nyoman with her baby, on their bed, alongside her mother in law, and a few baskets of offerings again. the roasted chicken was displayed leaning on the wall in a basket, another sacrifice for the ceremony. her mother in law proceeded to quietly say the blessings along with flicking flower petals, and water towards the chicken sacrifice. and then turned and blessed all of us with the flicking of water purifying us inside and out. the baby was quiet the entire time.

that was it. we then left the room and sat again on the steps of the patio while nyoman nursed her baby, and her husband proceeded to shave the baby girls head with an old fashioned razor blade in his hand. i decided it would be best if i just looked in another direction rather than have my fear filled energy cause any harm to the baby. i couldn't believe how still she stayed for almost an hour while he began first with a little pair of cheap scissors to cut her hair and then later put the edge of the blade to her scull and slowly slowly shaved her head. only towards the last 10 minutes did she become whiny and had had enough. but they managed to entertain her until her father was satisfied with the very professional baldy he had given her. then talc was smeared on her little raw head and she was put in the sarong sling on her mom who thought she needed to sleep. Made', the gardener, had celebrated this same ceremony for his 6 month old son the day before. so when i returned i asked if he too had shaved his sons head. i wondered if it is something that the father has to do. he said that yes, he had waited for his wife to nurse the baby and since the baby is hyperactive he decided to shave his head while he was asleep after having nursed. but in fact anyone can shave the head, mom, dad, a neighbor, or even go to the barber.

i enjoy hearing about all their beliefs and acts of devotion, which remind me alot of things i myself do,for years already, having developed my own way of connecting with god from the 12 step programs i have been in, and also remind me of similar ceremonies from judaism. i often wonder if i would be as curious following a hassidic family around and observing all of their rituals...
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