you are a good woman

"You are a good woman" said the Irish Australian with a great Irish accent! He was a new guest at the resort that happened to see me making the offerings. He was also a very kind, sensitive and respectful man, along with his family. I saw how nice it was to hear someone telling me that, even though what I was doing did not deserve, in my opinion, recognition by anyone. I had just walked back into the compound dressed in sarong and sash with the empty tray from the offerings I had placed in the appropriate places in and around the resort. I responded with "thank you", deciding to be polite …but the Indonesian phrase for thank you, "terimah kasih" seemed much more appropriate; "I receive your heart".

Making the offerings everyday has many levels of meaning and purpose for me. On one hand, it is a very calming time taking banana or palm leaves and thin strips of bamboo and folding them into little cones to be filled with fresh flowers and petals and cut greens. There is the actual making of the cones, and the cutting of the long green leaves into paper thin strips, which I usually do while listening to a kabbalah lesson, so that my mind can stay focused on a higher order instead of just wandering while I do the manual activity.

But before that there is also the actual gathering of the materials, asking Made to bring me the leaves, and also going around the garden and picking fresh flowers in three different colors with which to fill the cones. It is fun walking around the beautiful gardens here and picking from the numerous blossoms, remembering to use my right hand to pick them, (since left is used for wiping themselves…). It is such a lovely gift from nature knowing that the more you pick the blossoms, the more blossoms will grow! So my only consideration each time is not to leave a bush bare, just so that the other guests can still enjoy the aesthetic beauty of the flowers in nature.

The cutting of the greens is a very repetitive process that the Balinese do with a knife, but that I do with a scissor so as not to cut my finger while cutting the very thin strips of leaves that are latter placed into the cones in order to be receptive ground for holding the incense stick after having placed the flower offering on the altar or ground. This cutting, along with the making of the varied offering shapes, is a time for "going inwards" instead of being taken always to the external world. The actual arranging of the petals and flowers is a peaceful creative process that is also done repetitively as I go around the 10 cones that are in a circle around the tray. The Australian woman had watched me making the them the other day and had commented that it is quite "anthroposophic" being with using all the elements from nature. And as I write that I laugh, that from the potter's wheel that went round and round while I created pottery from the earth, to the hoola hoop that went round and round while I moved my body gracefully in the air, now to an even more ethereal level of spiraling with layers of intention and returning to Mother Nature, that which she has so generously given us each day anew.

At dawn and dusk, when I go "round" and place the offerings and dip the frangipani flower into the little cup of water in order to sprinkle on each of them as I recite my self-made blessing for nourishment of body mind and soul at dawn and a magnificent day of life well lived, at dusk, I am continuously reminded of the fact that another day of life has passed and a new one created and offered to each of us on this new day. It is a time for me to be especially "present", and am often brought back to a humbler place as midway in my prayer I realize that I forgot to remove my flip flops first, or that I forgot to put my sash on me before beginning, or it is the full moon which means I wear a white blouse, and I am in my blue one, etc.etc….just enough to keep me from getting too carried away in my "you are a good woman" belief! And yesterday, after buying ready made offerings as we passed a small village on a day trip, since I would be returning too late to make them myself, Gede, the lovely driver, asked me quietly, "Ms. Eileen, have you started to feel maybe a little change inside you now when you make the offerings? Do you discover more calm there?" I wasn't sure whether he was asking me that because at the moment I was not too calm, as I waited for my fellow travelers to finish visiting the Buddhist Monastery, which I had already been too (as had Made probably, hundreds of times!) and was anxious to have dinner already. But when he asked, I had to admit that there is something calmer. And yes, I am doing this for the good of all, hopefully, but especially because it gives meaning to my own life, and an opportunity for me to connect with my loving higher power, and a way for me to feel part of something bigger than my own personal life, as the air is filled with the sweet scents of all of the men and women of Bali that are also going around lighting their incense, after having picked their flowers and said their prayers, just for today.