in my kabbalah studies with rav laitman, he explained that all there is in creation is a "lack or a need" and a "filling" of that lack. he gives the example of a mother and her infant. the baby has a need, a lack, to nurse, to sleep, to be comforted....and the mother wants to always fill the need of the child, and thus shows her love for the child. she finds fulfillment by filling the needs of her baby. that is called to love.
how does this relate to me and bali? the other evening, just before dinner was going to be served by our lovely chef, she walked over to the each of the many guests that were gathered around the open air kitchen, drinking, chatting, and awaiting another delicious gourmet meal, and with a big genuine lovely smile said " good evening. i planned to seve this evening fresh tuna in white wine but because of the strong winds and rains, Made, was unable to find any fish today, even though he has tried until now by all of the fishermen, since they did not catch any. so tonight there will be green beans in sesame, potatoes in the oven with rosemary, glazed carrots in ginger and grilled red chili peppers, and apple pie for dessert. i hope that will be alright with you!" and as she still smiled at each of them happily announcing the lack of fresh fish in the meal, they all joined in in her smile and assured her that it was fine.
i watched her as she went from one to the other and stood tall and proud and smiling repeating the same change in plan. it was magical. what a brilliant way to let people know, just smile! i imagined myself having to cope with the same surprising news that 30 minutes before dinner realizing there isn't any fish, and what i would have done! i would have been all apologizes and trying to quickly make something else, and i would have been sad, and anxious, and pressured, and would have told my sad tale of woe over and over to everyone, inviting as much pity and sympathy as i could from my unexpected predicament,
the following day i decided to speak with the chef about her tactic. how did she choose to proudly announce the menu, smiling instead of sad and apologetic. her answer was typically balinese "i thought only of the guests, how do i want them to feel, what can make them happy. and that is what i brought them. a smile and positive picture will make them happy, instead of being sad and disappointing them that there is no fish."
i realized that this is how the balinese are in life. maybe it comes from the strong communal approach to life, or the lack of ego, or their caste system, or their devout hinduism and trusting in God that everything every moment is perfect. their first concern is to try and fill the need of the other. i watch them and see that they walk proud, and are confident, and are humble, and live in the moment. and they always have time to stop and speak with someone. interactions always seem quite involved, whereas in the western world a simple yes or no answer would be sufficient, here there is much conversation. when i tried to find out why, it appeared that they are communicating with another person, a live human being...it is not the "answer" that is the important thing, it is the person who is standing there opposite them. the person is not an object, but a living, feeling, present, human being, that they have an exchange with, and since they are never really in a hurry to be doing or going anywhere other than where they are at this moment, they just "interact"....ask, share, listen, laugh, help,
i once asked Gede the driver if there are many accidents on the roads, since he drives all day long. he said that the balinese drive from their heart, so usually there are few accidents. when i tired to understand how they were taught to drive from their hearts, he just looked at me and smiled, i realized a moment later that probably a child raised by people that live from their hearts, naturally, does everything from their heart. and that it is only with the western emphasis on knowledge, as compared to "being" that our natural heart instinct has moved into the mind. it is not that there is a way to grow up from the heart, to teach from the heart....that is the natural way....but only if this has been overthrown in order to teach from the mind, to act from the mind, then this natural instinct is covered with thought....
i tried to understand again, how does this happen differently with them, than with us westerners? and while i was doing tai chi on the beach early in the morning, i saw our chef carrying bags of fresh fruits and vegetables to the resort along with her baby and husband so that the morning staff would have the makings for breakfast. as she walked back afterwards to their motorbike, empty handed with only her sweet 1 year old baby in her arms, they walked along the shore and saw the fishermen passing in their boats at sea, she took her little baby's hand and waved and emphasized her "hello, hello" in order to teach her daughter to say hello to them. that is when it clicked! for them, from the time they are babies they are taught to stop and recognize who is opposite you and welcome them into your heart. to reach out and smile and say hello to another human being, to stop and recognize that someone is passing your energy field and can be welcomed with an open heart, that we are all one big global community, living here in paradise, all creatures of one God, brothers and sisters, and to smile and say hello and to recognize and appreciate each individual unique person that crosses your path.... and it means to be in a place of love, giving love to the other.
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