i was out on the beach this afternoon, hoola hooping with some 11 year olds that were fantastic! the tide was out, there was lots of sand, and it was perfect. along came one of mithas cousins...11 years old and taking care of her little year old sister...so cute...smiling...hanging out with me and the boys...i know her from the dance lessons and from hanging out with mitha and her family. but this time she was on her own...initiated coming over to me, and even initiated speaking some english with me...wow! and smiling smiling smiling...
after being with me and the boys for 1/2 an hour, smiling, she asked if i would like to visit her house. i had already been to the small dark empty house in the village and didn't really want to return there again. i asked if she meant here in the forest, where i usually meet her "smiling" father on the path...yes here! so i agreed...debated whether to take my camera to document it, but decided not to be too much of a tourist...and off we walked along the beach a few meters.
she made a lovely bowing gesture to indicate that now we turn in the direction of her outstretched hand, into the forest, on this little path...it made me smile, so humble, so elegant, so....and then immediately spit....(apparently this is not a contradiction of appropriate behavior here ) and as we began to walk along the narrow path into the woods she said in excellent english (out of the blue...) " i can't go to the temple for galungan ceremony. i have no money" smile...
.ahhh, now i get it....
i had been to mithas house the week before. her father had said that he is unemployed and the village temple notified all the villagers that they must pay 100,000 rupia for the galungan ceremony. silence...me, with my compassion for this poor family that is trying their best and just can't find a stable income., i decided that i would give mitha 100,000 ($12) from me so that i can participate in the ceremonies and they can just call me part of their family. i quietly put it in mithas hand before we left for my third gamelon lesson, but when her mother saw the money , she immediately began to speak in balinese to mitha ( i am learning indonesian...the balinese know it, but speak among themselves balinese...so we don't have a chance!) and the next thing i knew mitha was explaining to me that since in another 2 days is the ceremony i should pay the gamelon teacher today 50,000 rupia an hour ....
i had understood that the lessons were a favor for free for me, that is why i agreed to them. and now suddenly, money! and a lot....i could no longer look them in the eyes, and when i counted how much money i had it was exactly 300,000 rupias...the amount i had to pay him...out of respect, i paid, but felt sad and duped again....
i don't remember if i have written in a previous blog an explanation i heard from a german guest a few months ago here in bali as i tried to relate to their duping me all the time, in an objective positive way, and not that they are bad, or wrong....and she explained to me that they were always "gatherers"...they did not have to work, so there is no work ethic, all they had to do was pick the bananas, mangos, pineapples, avocados, papayas, whenever they wanted from the trees around them, and take a string and catch a fish if you wanted fish...and now...a new tree has been discovered in bali...the money tree....and all of us visitors go walking around, as if we are trees that have money hanging from us, and the balinese come, and pick it, as long as it is hanging there...and if there is none left, they just go to another tree...it is simple,,,no ulterior motive, no greediness....just being hungry for some money....
a few days ago i had a conversation with a swiss man that has lived here for 10 years and has seen all of the corruption in all of its forms...and he was actually optimistic in his view, saying, "there is great freedom in having seen and experienced it all, the good and the bad, and now i can choose how to respond knowing where it all comes from, without judging it."
and that is just how i suddenly felt as we walked through the forest, passing a cement outhouse which is where they shower, meaning there is a well where they pull up a bucket on a rope with water, and then take it behind the cement wall and pour it on themselves, or fill up a basin and wash their clothes on the cement floor....when i went another 20 meters among all the coconut and banana trees and the cow in the shed and tapioca plants, her mother was strategically waiting for "the money tree" to arrive, and pointed to "their house" and said how they don't have anything....
and i felt totally free to smile, and tell them how lovely it is, to stand here under these beautiful trees, and how lucky they are, and thank you for the visit....yes, freedom to choose to let go of saving them, and freedom of recognizing how they "use" their young children as "bait" for us wealthy tourists.....but today, no fishing for me....
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