the sea was very different this morning. there were rows of waves coming in at a 45 degree angle. i sat there looking at them, watching how the waves roll over. i guess because of the unique angle of them i was able to suddenly "see" that the "wave" is not the water. the wave is something that appears and moves the water! someone had once told me this a few years ago, but i couldn't understand or prove what they meant. but now it was clear that a wave has a life of its' own, kind of like the hand inside a puppet. and the water just rises or falls because of the wave that has entered into it. i thought of expressions we use about waves, and in hebrew it was more obvious; "gal". and all of the hebrew words that have that as their root, and to suddenly understand how rich and unique the hebrew language is and how fascinating waves are. and can i "ride a wave" and not fall under it?
while still at the sea i noticed that suddenly a square patch of light was shining through the clouds onto the sea. the rest of the sky was overcast. and i realized that the sun is always there behind the clouds, but when i saw the square patch of sunrays i thought how oftentimes this miracle of the power and importance of the suns' rays on everything on earth, goes unnoticed! and that by the grace of all the grey clouds covering the sky and just a small patch that is lit up, it is easier to recognize and suddenly appreciate. and that sometimes god has to make things dark in our lives so that he can then open up a little patch and let the sunlight through and allow us a new appreciation for what is often unnoticed or taken for granted, instead of a miracle and source of daily power and gratitude.
as i turned from the sea and began my walk back to my house, i suddenly heard the cicadas, now that the sounds of the sea were behind me. i smiled, happy to have their singing back in my awareness. their high vibration is a mystery to me that i have been observing and trying to understand. and then suddenly there were a whole slew of layers of other sounds; in the far distance; motorbikes, in the near surroundings; animals mooing, barking, cockadooing, and still another layer of birds singing, and water flowing, and music coming from someones house, and some people conversing. i suddenly understood the gamelon music that i have been playing. it is layers and layers of sounds, one on top of the other that creates a harmony. there is no written music, which would be "linear"...written on a piece of paper in lines with a beginning and an ending. the balinese music is cyclical, repetitive, goes in rounds, and each time one of the layers has the "stage" while the others become quieter, but continue. there can be a climax, but the cycle continues again and again and then suddenly ends on the last note of the cycle, played loudly, like a death. and there is silence. i realized that it is based on their experience of being in nature, doing their daily chores, living their simple repetitive lives, with moments of focus here or there, but a constant melody that is the foundation for everything else. this also seems to be the way they eat. the base is a big plate of white rice. and on top of that there is a tablespoon of spicy sambal, a teaspoon of spicy fish/chicken/pig/tofu, and a fried vegetable. they take their right hand, mush a little bit of each into the rice, and eat it...more or less three times a day. the food is usually cooked early in the morning and left out to be eaten at room temperature all day. each person takes a plate and eats by himself, the same food a few times a day. it is delicious food, very spicy, and it seems that just like this repetitive tune that we play on the gamelon made of layers of sounds where they all play together, but one is highlighted each time in the togetherness, so too is the food...with the same food eaten by all, all the time, with this white rice...but something spicy added to accent it.
as i was hoop dancing later in the afternoon on the porch to music on my laptop, i was suddenly "called" by a big palm tree in front of the house! i was surprised and looked at the tree top, which was suddenly waving around joyfully in circles, just like i had been doing! i looked at all the other palm trees next to it, but none were moving, so it wasn't because of wind...and i just laughed and smiled that the tree was dancing too with me. i decided to "accept the invitation" to dance, and continued to hoop dance but imitated the swaying of the big coconut palm leaves on the top, feeling what it is like to move like that. interesting. and then suddenly...five single leaves towards the tip that make up part of the whole big palm leaf started to move independently! it was totally wild! i had never seen anything like it before. and at that moment i realized that the balinese dancers were inspired by nature. i have asked several dancers about the meaning of their hand movements, but none seemed to know, they just do it, imitate it, learn it, practice it. and suddenly it all made sense. the palm leaf was perfectly still but two of the leaves of it were moving separately, just like if you keep your second and third fingers together, and move your fourth and baby together to the side. this is what they do while they are dancing. the body is usually straight, like the palm leaf, and just the fingers and eyes, are making subtle movements to the sides, while the rest of the body stays centered. also one hand is usually high while the other low, or one faced upwards the other faced downwards. and i realized how it all connects to the constant source of balance and harmony, between light and shadow, day and night, pure and impure.
and the last aha moment today was...while i was hoop dancing on the porch, and it was raining and i knew no one was out and about, out of nowhere the one neighbor i have that lives some 5o meters away, suddenly came to see if his stone wall that had fallen apart twice already, was holding up in the rain now. he looked over at me, smiled, we waved, and i continued. as i went to turn off the music since i had danced and exercised enough for today, i saw he had his cellphone out and was photographing me hooping. i laughed and did one more spin for him to photograph before stopping. next i continued to sit on the porch and make a mandala from glass shards from the beach. suddenly i heard a call, looked around me, and then at the wall separating our properties, and saw him standing there smiling at me. he gave me the "thumbs up" and i smiled, assuming he was complimenting me on my creative and beautiful mandala. i couldn't figure out how he could really see what i was doing since he was still some distance from me, i realized he was still "talking" to me but without words, so i raised my head from the mandala to see what he was saying. his second and third fingers on his right hand were crossing each other, like you do when you are kids and you want to tell a lie. hmm....i thought that was a strange way to body language me that he wants to take a photo close up of the mandalas. but he kept crossing and uncrossing his fingers and looking at me with a big stupid grin on his face...no camera. "something" told me that this has nothing to do with taking a photo of my mandalas...it has to do with him making a pass at me! he had already asked me a few days ago if i live here alone. and i said yes. and now was the perfect moment, after i was all revved up from hooping, and he was all revved up from watching me, and he was far from his house, and i was his neighbor....i kept my eyes focused on the mandala i was making and just ignored him and laughed how finally a balinese guy made a pass at me! aha! so that's how they do it. i preferred the "invitation" from the palm tree better!
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