glimpses

i wish i could open my heart and show it to the world so you could have a glimpse of what i feel with these balinese people that are in my life. it is just in a moment that they say or do something, and inside i melt. it is usually without words or if so, just a few. everything is minimalistic, but so deep and filled with love and quiet attention and intention, and together with that, such simplicity and something almost childlike. 

everyday there is an incident or two that awakens this deep admiration and wonder in me. i am so curious to understand how their minds work. but, in fact, when they do speak about their mind, they touch their heart with their right hand...so it isn't even the same mind as in the west!  how can an entire island of people be living from their heart, and it is kept a secret from the world?  it is only by means of my constantly asking them questions trying to understand how this heart centered existence of love, happiness and bestowal is instilled in them, that i get a snippet of information. maybe they themselves don't even know...it is just how they live. period. they don't know anything else.

in any case, i wanted to share a few glimpses that happened in the last 24 hours, just to give a taste of what i am talking about.  just a few minutes ago i was walking on the path in the woods, and a middle aged man carrying a small child in his arms (very common here that the men care for the children) and as we approached each other i was greeted with the biggest, happiest smile from him, even though we have never even seen each other! who needs more than that. 

while conversing with a young mother i asked her if she does balinese dancing. "yes, it is the way i can express my feelings." i was surprised by her answer since to me there seem to be a minimal amount of dances without any room for improvisation. it is all very subtle and discreet, from a western point of view, but for her it is the way balinese express feelings. so different than how westerners express feelings!

 she was showing me how to make very beautiful complicated offerings, with great patience and gentleness. when i asked her what occasion one would make such offerings for; full moon, dark moon...? she answered "whenever you have power in you to make them and you feel it in your heart. offerings can be made from the simple banana leaves folded in half, it doesn't matter, just that you feel it in your heart. that is what is important." this was said humbly and simply as if giving me instructions to go somewhere.

while sitting on my porch with some children in a family, i saw that the 6 year old was suddenly very angry and refusing to give her glass of water that she just took for herself to drink with her meal, to her 4 year old brother, that saw it and needed immediately to have water too and was screaming for it. the older 14 year old sister tried to convince the 6 year old to give her younger brother the water, to no avail. meanwhile the 6 year old drank the quantity that she wanted while her brother screamed, and then was willing to give him the rest of the glass, which quickly calmed and satisfied him. i was surprised and confused by the incident. i realized that for me there were many options; go bring another glass of water, tell the 4 year old to stop screaming, invite him to come to the water cooler and learn to take water himself too, to tell him that he has to wait till she drinks what she wants because she is the one that brought the water...but for them it was obvious that if the younger brother wants something, he needs to receive it immediately. i spoke with the father about it, telling him how i would encourage independence and self responsibility in the young child who is capable of getting water for himself and not spoiling him and giving in to his temper tantrums. he explained that for them it is more important to teach that we always need to put the other person before ourselves. that if there is someone younger than you, you must learn to serve them, and at a certain point in life it changes and you now must learn to serve those that are older than you. the desire to keep a calm atmosphere is top priority, so if the child begins to cry, his needs must be met. next unity and humility are what is important to teach the older child. that was the end of the conversation. no debating, philosophizing, doubts,  the development of the ego is not encouraged.

the grandfather, 71 years old, has a permanent smile from ear to ear on his face at all times. he is a simple man that feeds his cow with tender love and attention, along with the other farm work. the cow has a lovely thatch roof shelter where he feeds him three times a day fresh greens that he carries on his shoulder from the forest. he aesthetically places it down for him, and sits down next to him and watches him eat and keeps him company, builds a little fire to make things cozy for the cow, not in order to keep him warm, just because he has a "feeling" that the cow likes it. in 6 months time the cow will be fat and healthy and ready to be sold to someone that needs it for an offering at the temple. he washes his bum everyday, and the glow in the cows face is something to be seen. yesterday, he passed by my house to go into the forest to cut the greens. just then it began to rain. i figured he was waiting underneath a big banana tree to stay dry and when it stopped raining he would return. but it rained for a good half an hour. and suddenly he appeared, with his huge smile, a big banana plant on his shoulder for his wife to cut up and feed the pig. he was soaking wet,  we both laughed. i am sure he waited a while underneath a banana tree, and then he just decided, with his young at heart spirit, to just come on home, it's only water!

this morning i heard a new sound near my house and always interested to see and learn new things i went out and found him chopping a big tree trunk into more convenient sized pieces of fire wood. i love watching the balinese work, because they always do it very simply, effortlessly and with a natural rhythm and harmony with their surroundings. there he was, tall, barefoot, 71. with minimum movement he arranged the piece of wood on the earth, lifted his carefully sharpened long handled axe, placed it for a moment exactly on the spot on the wood where he wanted it to hit, then raised it above his head and let it fall into the tree trunk, splitting it exactly where he had intended beforehand. i stood there watching him do this about 7 times, until it had all been chopped. you could almost hear him speaking to the blade of the axe and to the tree trunk, to join him in this act of chopping. everything was alive and respected; the tree trunk, the earth, the axe, and his service here on earth. when he finished he squatted for a minute and said "finished". i thanked him. it is always almost sacred watching him and his wife do their  chores on the farm; no unnecessary words spoken, no unnecessary movements made, no unnecessary energy lost. they rest many times a day, enjoy laughing alot, and are constantly bringing me fruits and treats from their garden and kitchen, humbly, happily, quietly. 

this morning as i walked back from the sea to my house i turned at the corner, and behind me heard a motorbike coming. i was quite a distance away and just continued walking straight to the house. but just before the motorbike turned in the other direction some 20 meters behind me, there was a little "beep". i have learned to recognize these "beeps" are for me, (even though no boys ever tooted their horns at me when i was a teenager walking on the street!) and so i turned my head to the back and saw the priest/fisherman. he knows me from the neighborhood even though we have only said a few words to each other, and he just "wanted to say hello" with a "beep" of his motorbike. we smiled at each other and then he was out of sight, as he turned. i thought for a moment..."would i go out of my way to "beep" someone who is way ahead of me, that i don't really know that well, just to say "hello"? and what was obvious in his beep, was not that he wanted my attention, my recognition. no, he wanted to make ME feel good! he wanted to interact with me so that i would feel a part of a greater whole. not alone. just like the man with the great big smile earlier...it is so obvious to all of them that we are all "One".