hiking to the waterfall

When we arrived at the small four car parking lot of the waterfall, we gathered in a circle and were given an exercise of walking up to the waterfall in silence and connecting with our heart chakra or with our star point (a point above our heads). All 20 of us started up the gently winding narrow path to the waterfall. There was running water in a narrow canal along the path, gurgling and swirling along, sometimes on our right and sometimes on our left. As soon as I tried to feel what it means to walk while I am in my heart chakra I was shocked. What had been beautiful nature until that moment suddenly became magnified beauty of the tip of a leaf, the center of a flower, the shape of a mango, the sunshine on a leaf, a branch bending, a vine twisting. Each object became erotic, sensuous, and brilliant in its color and even more 3 dimensional. I suddenly understood that this is the place that I take my photographs of nature. But I had never realized that the nature apparently opens up my heart chakra which enables me to suddenly see things with different eyes… The eyes of my heart.

Now I was curious what it meant to continue to walk while connecting with my star point, way above my head. Another shock. Suddenly instead of being the observer observing the magnificence of Mother Nature, I was nature! Instead of looking at nature, I was inside it. The immediate surroundings suddenly enveloped me into them and expanded to include quite a large circumference of trees, plants, walls, sky, earth….everything became one, I became the foaming water rushing through the canal. My body could become the sap of the tree along with the tree trunk. There was no longer any separation of me and nature. Ilona had described the star point as a place where there is no longer duality, but that was just words to me…and now when I was inside nature, and at one with it, I suddenly understood her words. .

The rest of the half hour walk up to the waterfall was a succession of experiences of going between the open heart chakra, and the star point and marveling at them both, and also taking "breathers" to just be lazy and be walking "like always"…unconsciously, even though I always thought it was conscious. I now understood that this is the place where artists and poets create from. I wondered if this was truly an option of living your life constantly from here and that it is just a matter of training the attention. In any case it made for a very special walk through this slice of Balinese nature.

Other than the lush greenery of trees and plants and flowers, there were a handful of little huts or bamboo shacks here and there at the end of little stone paths. Along the winding path were small old altars, nestled in nature. At one point there were two strong young men shoveling earth in order to level out a terrace to plant banana plants or some other fruit giving plant. There was something about the way one was shoveling that made me stop to watch him. Each time he would gently push the shovel along the earth in order to lift up a quantity and then gracefully threw it over his right shoulder about 3 meters behind him to a higher terrace, as his body and eyes followed the earth and stones as they landed. Once they landed "in place" he turned around and lifted up another shovelful of earth gently, with no sign of effort. As I watched him swerve his body along with the movement of the shovel over his shoulder it seemed like he was using his presence to be with the earth and stones and energetically place them exactly where he wanted them to be on the higher terrace, filling in the area that had been designated with stones. By doing so he also created a gentle rhythm of shoveling...nowhere to go, nothing to do…just to be at one with what he was doing. It caught my eye since I had noticed that I had been stubbing my right toe day after day. Usually being quite connected with my body I was surprised to see that my intuitive sense of distances and heights of steps had gone off sync. I wondered why, and when I did a slow reverse of my actions I saw that each time it happened I had been in the future; checking something out; if the mattress I am going to sit down on has been cleaned today, if there is room at the table for me, if if….so instead of just being in the moment with the step I was taking, I was doubting the perfection of the next moment.

Together with this observation I noticed that whenever I spoke with any of the Balinese, they would stop what they were doing and just listen to me, or answer me, without multi tasking. They seem to just be in the present. Their brains are not geared anywhere in the future. There is nowhere to go, nothing to do, so their movements are slow and measured and kind of in a flow with nature. No rushing, no hurrying, no sudden or surprise movements….just slow, now now now…whatever that may be.

The next now moment was when I noticed a man was standing on the two poles of the top of his bamboo ladder, past the last rungs, and was tying a rope onto the trunk of the papaya tree that had grown a very tall and thick trunk on the steep slope of the mountain below his house. There he was, with his little bamboo ladder leaned against the papaya tree throwing the rope to a family member by the house, so that he would tie that end onto something solid so that the man on the ladder could chop down the top of the tree, I guess so that his little bamboo ladder would then be tall enough to pick the papayas, instead of them being up so high! After it was tied, he took his big rounded knife that had been in his hand all this time, made a few deep chops at an angle on his side of the trunk, lowered himself down the ladder a bit, and then quietly called to the other person to pull, and within a second, the tall papaya tree had been felled, with a minimum of to do. The wood would be used for cooking the food, and that was that.

The next image that caught my eye was an old woman lying on a white plastic sack on the ground underneath the trees, with her head leaning against a huge flat rock that was at a 30 degree angle, and was a perfect "pillow" to sleep on. I stood and looked at her, there in the middle of the forest, asleep, and wondered if she may even be dead, and if anyone would know, or find her….her thin frail body, alone, on the rock. On my way back down from the waterfall she was no longer there, but in her place, was an old man, also asleep…so I realized this must be a "known" spot for a midday rest, with that inviting pillow rock, and cool shade underneath the tall trees. And further on I passed a woman holding about 10 big bamboo poles tied in a bundle on her head, barefoot, and realized this was the old woman from the forest, with her red t-shirt on her way home or whatever.

As I was making my way up the path to the waterfall I could hear the music of a bamboo chime. A tune was being played out. My first thoughts were that when I get to the waterfall it is going to be a big tourist trap, selling all kinds of souvenirs, including the bamboo chime that is being played so beautifully, in order to get the tourists to buy it. But as the music rang out in the forest I came closer to it and saw that it was coming from a small tin roofed, open square cement platform with 3 sides having walls made of a piece of material in order to have some privacy. As a young woman and small boy left the path I was on and walked into the forest I could see this was their home, and the father was the one playing the lovely Balinese repetitive music. Again, I just stood there, enjoying the wonderful breeze that blew through this little opening in the forest, making it the perfect place to build your hut. At least for me! The young father continued to play the never-ending melody again and again. And I wondered if it actually is a kind of meditative practice to be able to play it again and again without ever stopping or making a mistake.

Passing more altars I finally came to the waterfall, with its own sacred altar spot and the beautiful strong powerful water crashing down from high above, with greenery on all sides of the high narrow cliff. Three of the people from my group were in various positions in the pool of cool rain water that was pounding down on them from above. I looked at the little temple and regretted that I hadn't thought to bring a sarong and sash and offering here. So I just stood for a moment, respecting the sacredness of the place, and then walked closer to the waterfall and felt the mist. After debating in my head whether or not to try and keep my balance on the stones in the water leading to the waterfall I decided to be very careful and chance it. I had just seen how a lovely woman had followed a path through the mud and rocks and it seemed a little more feasible. I am usually not one to be afraid, but with repeated incidents of being impulsive and thinking I am 24 when I am 59, and then hurting myself on adventure treks, I decided to pace myself very slow, and also to ask one of the men that had been in the waterfall and was now making his way back, if he would just sit nearby so if I needed help I could ask him.. And yes, I made it there and back without slipping, and even had a few moments underneath the strong force of water from the falls, which was lovely.

When I returned to my place by the little temple, I was surprised to see two young 20 year old boys, giving offerings there with incense and a small flower offering. Afterwards they went and sat on a rock, as if waiting for all of us tourists to finish our fun there. I wanted to understand their intentions so I walked over to them in order to ask them if they speak English. Barefoot, I had another 2 steps to go, and one of them suddenly pointed to the thin tree branch that was right where I was about to place my foot. I knew it was there, but had no regard for it and thought I would just step on it. When they pointed it out I was surprised, since they so rarely interfere with what people are doing. So I side stepped it. I asked them if they speak English, but they said no, so I returned to sit on a stone at a distance and pondered what had just happened. I wondered if they were concerned about my foot being hurt from the branch, or the branch being hurt from my foot! I tried to translate it into western terms. I thought that maybe it was like us seeing a cat sitting on the floor and someone is about to step on it, oblivious to the fact that it is alive and may hurt them, and why step on something? Yeah…why? Laziness? Rushing? Ahead of myself wanting to ask them if they speak English instead of just "walking" over to them?

After we had all been in the water and were gathered in a closing circle together, they entered the waterfall alone, for a few minutes, and then left back down the slope on their motorbike. Just wanted to cool off at the falls probably, and would never think of doing that without first offering thanks to God for the falls. It touched me deeply to realize that they do not take without first asking and giving thanks. Nothing is taken for granted.

We ended our visit at the fall by holding hands in a circle. We began by singing OM in an "OM blanket" where each person sang at his own pitch for however long he wanted until we all became one and ended in silence. Then we blessed the water, all water all over the world, along with blessing the water inside of us too, and praying that it all be clean and healing and no longer polluted.

As we walked back down to return home, the man who had been cutting the papaya tree, was now carrying an entire stem of bananas on his shoulder up the mountain; food for his family. And further down the path, just as I was wondering whether I was alone and had enough privacy to try and put my bra on without anyone coming along the path after having taken off my bathing suit, I suddenly see a man, standing in the canal, up to his knees, from the back, naked, washing his pants…and chuckled to myself how ridiculous I was to be concerned about that, since here he is, sure he is invisible now as he washes his clothes naked in the water. So simple.

This was Les….such a very special place, so quiet, no rubbish anywhere, nothing touristy , just a quiet tribute to mother nature in the north of bail with a small old wooden sign in the shape of an arrow with a nail in it on a tree trunk and someone printed the words: water fal (with one "l" )

The feeling at the end of the time in nature with the glimpses into the life of these villagers was that they truly are keepers of the earth…they have no other agenda. Enough shelter and food and water, maybe a cow, and gently caring for their surroundings, in peace and with a smile on their faces.

Saraswati and Purification ceremony

"Aren't there any ceremonies lately?" I asked made.

"Yes, tomorrow is the ceremony for the goddess Saraswati, responsible for knowledge, learning, culture. All of the children go to school at 7 and have a ceremony and pray and then have the day off."

"How long is the ceremony?"

"About three hours…"

Happy to witness a ceremony that I had never been to yet, I planned how I would go to the neighborhood high school and participate. In the afternoon I could hear in the far distance the sweet high singing of children, and imagined them rehearsing for tomorrow.

Having watched a movie at night, I didn't wake up at my usual 5 o'clock, but rather at 5:45, which pushed things back another 45 minutes. What to let go of in order to get there on time? The morning offerings of thanks for our nourishment? Or meditating? Or journaling? Or breakfast?

None of these was an option, since I need them all in order to feel "connected" to myself, so, for maybe the first time in my life, I decided that I would just get there a little later than planned. If my entire life I still keep showing up for things right on time, in Israel and in bali, always sure that this time it really will begin as planned, and it never does….then why not just relax, do what I have to do, and trust that all is perfect.

So, after finishing it all I left for the school by foot, a 10 minute walk….but with a tight sarong on me, with little leeway with my legs to walk in my usual big stride, it took a little longer than usual. When I arrived I saw the big courtyard filled with children dressed in white, seated on the ground in rows. I decided to just "dive in" and walked across the open space in the middle and took a quick glance where to sit. A sweet young boy, smiled and patted the ground next to him, encouraging me to choose that spot. Grateful for his friendliness, I took off my flip flops and flopped myself down next to him.

Just then an older man came up to me, greeted me in silence and showed me a more appropriate spot….near the adults. As I got up to follow him, he motioned to another man from the gamelon band to accompany me. Yes, all the hundreds of kids were watching all of this….the foreigner, showing up for their ceremony. The next man that accompanied me looked familiar, but I didn't know from where. He smiled at me, said that we know each other already and explained in perfect English that the ceremony is already finished but he knows that I know how to pray so I can do it on my own if I want. I thanked him and quickly scanned my surroundings for some flowers and incense sticks (ugh….how could I forget such basics when I left the resort for a ceremony?!). I was used to the fact that everyone shares these necessities with whoever happens to be sitting next to them, and also leave everything just lying on the ground when they are done, so when I saw a little plastic bag next to my leg filled with flowers I was relieved and quickly started to take them out to use. Again, his kind smile, and gentle explanation that he believes these have already been used, so he will bring me new ones (which is the abs's of offerings, since it isn't the actual flowers that are important but rather the intention that is being put through them by each devotee, and these had served their purpose. ) He walked over to the altars where the priests had received many flower offerings from the devotees, and told them he was bringing me one of them to use. Everything goes here….no embarrassment, no stern glances or smirks, just smiles and acceptance of what is.

Where I found an incense stick and matches, I have no idea, maybe laying on the mat, and if so…what a "no no" since the incense and flowers are meant to be treated in a respectful way and are always laid on something first, even a leaf, and not on the ground…oops…After my little impromptu self made ceremony and made up individual blessings to Saraswati, that has enabled us to read and write and learn and grow in order to be closer to fulfilling our life purpose, we continued to chat a bit. He invited me to come to his meditation and yoga center if I wanted to join him. It was then that I suddenly remembered who he was; the yoga teacher that had come to the resort 4 months earlier and took the German woman guest for private classes…he and I had spoken then, while he waited for her. But when the men put on the tied kerchief on their foreheads they always look so regal and different that I couldn't place the face. It again reminded me of the movie "O lucky man" from the 70's, where the same 5 actors kept appearing in different roles in the plot. So now he was the English teacher at the high school.

He explained that the ceremony is over, and now everyone goes home. No three hours of music and singing and ceremony….had I imagined that sweet high sound of children singing praise the day before? We parted and as I walked to the entrance suddenly Mitha showed up, from my adopted family. I was happy she found me and came to say hello, and then I remembered it was her that had told me about this in the first place a few months ago, when we were looking at the yearly calendar and I was wondering what ceremonies would be happening while I was here this time. And suddenly here we were, at the ceremony together, like the blink of an eye.

I returned to the resort, and told the staff that I missed the ceremony because I had arrived late, and that instead of it being 3 hours, it was just 1/2 an hour. They encouraged me by telling me that tomorrow is another ceremony; Purification ceremony. It always follows Saraswati on Sunday. Everyone looks at all of the "ghosts" they have inside of them that are preventing them from being the best person they can be; laziness, anger, greed, jealousy, etc, and brings an offering to the temple next door, and another one opposite to it at the sea, and then dips themselves in the sea which will purify them from all of these traits. Hmm…sounds good to me, especially since I had been sinking into all of my worse character traits for the past couple of months, and was feeling so powerless over them all.

So, having another ceremony to fill my cultural gap tomorrow I went over to sit in a quiet spot and read my e-mails while looking out at sea, and as I did I read one that explained that on this day of recognition to Saraswati, Goddess of reading and writing and culture, there is no reading or writing done. What?! Is touching a keyboard called writing? Is reading e-mails called reading? I can't write a blog? Can people send SMS's today? Can I read a sign in front of a store? Write a receipt? Ooooo. This is not going to be an easy one! What will I do with myself all day? And, being an addict, I just had to read a few more emails before I had the willingness to close down the laptop and try and do a Reading and Writing Fast!

I decided to ask the staff if my conclusions were right….about no reading and writing….Nyoman answered in her usual correct way based on respect and honor for the individual and for the religion and said yes, but that each person chooses how he can observe this day. So, being the saint that I am, I decided to go visit my adopted family, go into the village to get my cell phone Balinesed so I can call my family, and thus pass the day.

When I came to Mithras I asked her about this reading and writing curfew. She patiently listened to me and then elegantly moved over to their simple coconut leaf hut and moved aside the piece of material which acts as their door and motioned inside. I didn't get it. What is she showing me? And then I saw; in between the two beds for the 5 of them, and the positive affirmations of their miracle bamboo hut taped on a big bulletin board, there is a desk, and on the desk was a perfectly straight pile of some 10 notebooks, and on top of them a small flower offering and a cup of water. And? "This is the reason there is no reading or writing. Our notebooks are being blessed today." I love it.

We later went for the sim card for my cell phone (and I read what was written on the packaging). And then I went back to my resort. What else to do today? After verifying all of the details for the tomorrows ceremony; sarong, sash, between four and five a.m. before sunrise, offering made from young coconut leaves, I had a mission! I will prepare the flower offerings….that isn't reading or writing!

At sunset I sat on the beach with a young 12 year old neighbor who helped me make the lovely leaf cut offerings from the yellow coconut leaves. I laughed again and again as she patiently showed me the way to twist the leaf so that it would turn into a lovely flower. And each time that I took a new leaf, I had absolutely no recollection of what she had just shown me a few minutes before and what I had just done 8 times for each flower! And then, as I fumbled around inventing numerous other options that did not work, I would again have to ask her to show me. I could not believe it, how in one minute I had no recollection, and again and again making up such concoctions….I laughed, she laughed, and it was so much fun that she had such patience and gentleness to show me again and again, 10 times, with no sign of irritation or disbelief that I just could not "get it"! What a nice experience of unconditional love.

The following morning I woke up at 3:30 and decided I may as well start "preparing" for this very auspicious day! So I wrote down all of the character traits that I felt were blocking my ability to just be happy and in the present. I was sitting outside in the dark, writing and meditating and praying and preparing for this special opportunity that felt to me like a Yom Kippur day, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. Perfect. Since I had also been on a liver cleansing fast for the past 5 days I felt physically and spiritually and emotionally ready. I would also be going to a week quantum matrix healing seminar tomorrow, so I was grateful for the timing of it all….not crawling on all fours to be saved by a workshop, but did the groundwork and now let's uproot or detach from this once and for all, please.

As I was getting ready for the individual purification rite I could hear people out by the sea already, since it was close to 5 am. I was curious to see the entire village of 11,000 residents, all with the same intention, dipping themselves in the sea with their sarong and sash on after having placed the incense and offerings at shore. But, I decided to stick to my intention of purpose and let go of curiosity and rushing over to the gate to look and see what all the commotion was about….I will be there soon enough too. Patience.

I walked slowly and with intention with my offerings to the gate of the resort and when I exited I was surprised to see mainly kids….tons of kids, walking on the beach, in the water, all playing and laughing. "Stay centered to the temple." Okay. A few minutes later I was standing opposite the sea, placing my offering there, and planning on going into the water to dip myself from head to toe while keeping in mind my intention and character traits that I hoped would soon be cleansed away from me so that I could love myself , without them! "Go in with my flip flops? Leave them on shore? On no! I have a sore on my toe. I don't want to hit it. I will wear them in on the stony sea floor. What if I lose one? They are brand new and I like them. Just go in. Okay." And just as I start to walk into the water for this great cleansing experience, one of the little boys from the group of kids that were giggling and in the water next to me said "hello!" and again and "what is your name?" Oh no, be distracted and answer him out of politeness, or just stay centered with why I am doing all of this just as I dunk my head while reciting all of my traits to be washed away.

Only once I stood up again, I smiled at him and his friends and said "hello!" They giggled, and I had a glance around and realized I was the only adult there. Hundreds of kids sitting on the beach and playing in the water, and me. What?! Where is everybody on this holy of days? What am I doing here?! This is just for the kids! At that moment of self-doubt, my right sandal slid off my foot and quickly floated off in the dark water somewhere.

I needed their help. Please help me find my sandal. My gut response was to start speaking in Hebrew, then English, and then hand motions. I groped around with my foot a bit trying to see if maybe it was near me, but they all giggled as they saw it floating off to my right. One of them caught it and I thanked them and put it on my foot again, against the forces of gravity, and made my way out of the knee deep water we were in.

Weighed down by my soaking wet clothes I made my way over to the resort and dripped through it to my room, where I was told I should now shower and wear my regular clothes. By the time I went out again, the sun was rising and the laughter and beauty of the dark sea and all of the children so happy and playful was lovely. So…just a kind of fun Sunday morning of kids in the sea at sunrise. Nice. I soon noticed mitha and her sister sitting on shore and went over to them. They had not dunked….she said she was too cold to. I think it was part of being popular or not, as she sat on the side, while all the other kids were in groups having fun. Apparently cleansing away their obstacles for learning, on this auspicious day, is not taken as seriously as I had.

We parted after I gave them another hoola hoop to take home. As the sun rose and I was back in the compound of the resort, I saw the owner was sitting there and asked me if I am okay. He said he felt that since I had arrived a week ago, something had changed. What was the matter? I sat down and knew he was right, and perceptive, but how to explain it. I myself had no idea why all of this heaviness had surfaced. As we spoke, more and more incidents came to my mind, all related to the character traits I had just surrendered. I explained to him how difficult it is to live with myself when these traits come up, and that I just did a ceremony hopefully washing them away….and that none of this has to do with any of the 17 Germans that are there with me. This is my baggage, just being played out with them as the backdrop and the ones pushing my buttons. All perfectly timed. It was good to clear the air. I was grateful,

As the sun began to shine its morning light on the sea and beautiful trees and plants in the garden I noticed that the light was different! Everything was shimmering, sparkling. I asked myself, how could this be? It isn't the first day the sun is shining here…it has been sunny all week…what is different?? I just kept observing it, marveling at it, and feeling the lightness of being. It was also after 6 days of fasting, but it also felt that my eyes had been cleared of the dimmer that had covered them over the past days, partly from the difficulty of managing with a smashed right thumbnail that was healing, and a stubbed big right toe that had sucked my life force from me and left me feeling very low.

Later in the day I was thinking about what had happened in the morning….with the kids laughing and playing at sea, and how serious I had been with my intention….and how that little kid just kept saying "Hello" at just the peek moment of dunking myself, and I realized that he was my "teacher" at that moment….telling me to wake up, let go, enjoy, have fun, giggle, connect, just be….nice.

start-up

While walking on the small road that leads from the sea to the main road, I had to chuckle inside me when I saw a man coming opposite me with five big, green, plastic washing tubs turned upside down on his head. It was an interesting version of the children's story I had loved of the peddler who sold hats, which sat one on top of the over on his head, as he walked from village to village (and when he stopped to rest under a tree, and placed the pile of hats on the ground, the monkeys came and had a good trick on him….). As he approached he banged another two that were in his hands, against each other in order to advertise his wares. He smiled at me from beneath the tubs when he saw me impressed with his each other and as he passed I saw he had another two stung across his back. Nine tubs for sale….how ingenious, how simple.

I continued on my way, reflecting on the originality, wondering whether anyone would buy today. After participating in a small ceremony I again returned on the same path, and met the young entrepreneur in the middle of a business transaction and decided to take out my camera and catch him in action. Again his big smile, pride, and kindness showed thru. I was happy to know that he had made a sale!

When I reached my resort, I found 2 of his wares on the grass by the kitchen….another sale! I asked the girls how much it costs….in the shops they are $4 each, but the tough chef was able to buy 2 from him for $5. So in the hour that had gone by, he had sold 3 tubs, making a profit of about $1.5 ….not bad!

While I was meditating this morning, his smiling face appeared, and I was suddenly observing my serious effort of meditating and praying for joy, laughter, happiness, simplicity….and this young man wakes up in the morning, gets dressed, prays, and puts his pile of tubs on top of his head, ties 2 more on his back and walks up and down the streets, happily selling his wares, having taken responsibility for earning some money for today. Enlightenment!

parallel realities

i read a book by ilona selke called "Love, Dolphins and Destiny" and was impressed by her experiments in creating a new reality when faced with difficult situations. she shared about several experiences with airplane flights that were quite amazing. i was curious to try it, but did not really want to be put in a stressful situation of being at an airport with a problem with my flight. and then suddenly i found myself in an unexpected situation; i was accompanying my mom (almost 85 years old) on a flight to the usa for 2 weeks so that she could visit old friends and family and be independent to drive around with a rented car and me at the wheel, without having to be concerned about forgetfulness, carrying the luggage, and driving on her own.

preparations for the trip were all done in plenty of time beforehand; bags packed, flights reserved, etc. we leisurely left for the airport being driven by family and were dropped off at the departure entrance. as we entered the airport and began to stand in line for the first security check, i realized that leaving israel with only my american passport, does not seem sensible....and my israeli one was safely placed with my papers that i would be taking to bali, 3 weeks later, back home. i had purposely emptied out my purse of anything superfluous, basking in the joy of minimal possessions and needs....but forgetting that i am an israeli citizen and may need that passport too, and not just the prestigious american one that allows me to fly back "home" without the need of a visa.

the security man did not know the rules when i asked him if i would be able to fly with just my american one, and i decided to stay calm and optimistic and possibly talk my way out of it at the ticket counter. i could not imagine what i would do if i did need the israeli one! when i began to think, as we waited in line, i tried calling my daughter to see if her friends were still at home and could bring the passport with them and drop it off on their way, but she said they had already left....okay...stay cool....it will all work out fine. i can call my ex, but the minutes are ticking by and the trip takes 90 minutes minimum....stay cool. think positive, let go and let G!D...they will understand and it will all work out.

our turn. my mom walks up to the counter first, and checks in, i begin to also, and mention that i only have the american passport with me, i am sent to the manager a few desks down, who is firm and dry and says: you cannot fly. only if you have your israeli passport. okay....i can try and call my ex now....it will take 90 minutes. the other manager smiles and says he will not allow me to enter the gate any later than 9:55 when he closes them. period. okay....it is now 8:20....i tell them i will call and he will bring it to me, hopefully within the time frame. the manager smiles and says: where do you live ? 90 minutes from here? and now the roads are full because of the holiday traffic, it won't work. i say i want to try.

i called my ex, walked him through my moms house until he found the passport exactly where i had carefully placed it, and i said "now please drive as fast as you can so that i can have it before they close the gate!" i hung up the phone, looked at the clock, knew that i had just driven that road a few minutes ago and was aware how as the 90 minutes had passed the road became more and more crowded with the holiday travellers, and could not imagine how this was going to work out.


meanwhile my mom is having to cope with mixed emotions, how her supposedly responsible 59 year old daughter and world traveller, who had tons of time to organize her things for this trip, did not take her israeli passport!! and now how am i supposed to accompany her?! i asked her if she wants to forget about traveling and we will just go home or if she wants to fly alone? she thought for a moment, and then said that she will fly alone. she did not look like a happy camper....and i couldn't blame her. we said goodbye, and she looked at me with eyes filled with fear, anger and confusion and said " i expect to see you in the seat next to me on the plane!" and off she went in the wheelchair to go through the rest of the flight procedures, on her own.

i stood opposite the managers desk and tried to think what my options were. what would be the fastest and easiest way to meet my ex? the airport is new and huge and with so many levels and parking areas and entrances, how was this going to work when every minute is critical? i called him up again to change our point of meeting and he proudly told me that he is finally on his way, having had to first find his car by my daughter, and then fill it up with gas, and now he is on his way. i hung up, in shock. 20 minutes of the sacred 90 had already passed, and only NOW he was on his way?! what am i going to do? i thought of possibly chumming up with the managers, making small talk, and hopefully in 90 minutes we would feel like family and they wouldn't stand on principal and would let me through the gate even if it was late....but that felt a bit manipulative and not "clean" since my friendliness was for selfish reasons....then came the idea, to try and experiment with meditating on a parallel universe and finding the ticket counter and stewardess smiling and giving us our seating arrangements without any problem.

i sat down on the floor, closed my eyes, and got in touch with my crown chakra and third eye and breathed....i was surprised to see how anxious i was, my heart beating fast, and much movement in all directions inside of me. and so i just breathed and said the serenity prayer for about an hour. along with that i "pulled" my thoughts back to me on the plane, each time that i heard or saw the evil inclination trying to tempt me into believing in scarcity and failure. i saw in my minds eye how the stewardess was welcoming me on board, instead of how my ex was stuck in traffic jams. every now and then i tried to open my eyes and come back to reality, but it was too chaotic and disconcerting, so remaining with my eyes closed, praying, and staying in a different "space" where everything is going along right on time, peacefully and simply, was the path i chose.

i remembered that when ilona wrote about it, she and her partner were both meditating together as they entered a parallel reality where their flights could land or leave on time or connect. i hoped my mom was also busy staying positive and trusting, and not being a victim and angry. i was sure in my heart, that whatever was meant to be would be, that if my mother was supposed to do this trip on her own, than i will not get the passport on time, or if for some reason i am not supposed to be travelling to the usa, then it will not happen. i had shared with my loving higher power that if we are meant to travel together, and that this trip is something he wants for us, then i will do my best now to envision it and be an active partner in making it happen.

with only 20 minutes left until the gate closed, i decided to go outside and wait for my ex. first i did a dry run of the escalator versus the elevator to see which way would be faster to rush down to the ticket desk as soon as i had the passport. next i went out and waited along the road, again choosing to stay with eyes closed, envisioning his safe arrival.

i must admit that there were a few fears; one that G!D forbid, something would happen to him since he had to drive so fast for my sake, and secondly, that even though i have known him for 36 years, and have been disappointed by my expectations of him, that were never realized, i still chose him, of all people, to bring my passport, him, with his slow and thorough way of doing things, regardless of how much time there was to do them in.....so why did i choose him! and with his car that is 20 years old! how did i expect him to speed with it? but as those thoughts crossed my mind, i just envisioned the opposite, and let them go. there was not room for both those thoughts, and preferred to focus on the positive ones. i was grateful i did not have a watch, so i was not looking at it all the time. just taking in the dark sky and cool air and trusting.

a few minutes later the phone rang, and i "walked" him through the kilometer of entrance turns and signs and suddenly saw him drive up. ecstatic to see him and grateful for the miracle, he himself was surprised that his car still had it in it to drive so fast! i grabbed my passport, thanked him profusely and ran. when i got to the ticket counter i saw that it was only 9:40! not only had he arrived on time, but with 15 minutes to spare i had so much adrenalin in me that i just ran through the airport from check point to check point until i found my mom sitting at the entrance to the gate, waving calmly to me as i came into site. we were both grateful to be in this other reality, where everything worked out and we were going to spend the 2 weeks together in the usa as planned. i excitedly told her that i know why this all happened....so that i could experiment in real time with the discovery of a parallel reality. and i thanked my loving higher power for allowing me this lesson.!

i had tried it out a few weeks prior to this, when i left bali this last time. i had assumed i knew the time of my flight and ordered the cab. only at 4 a.m. as i made sure i had all of my tickets and passports, did i double check and saw that i was mistaken and the flight left an hour earlier! and that the gates close an hour before that! i had just lost 2 hours of time, and the drive itself was 4 hours!...what to do? i waited until the guard had awoken and asked him to please call the cab driver and tell him that i need him to come as soon as possible since the flight leaves an hour earlier. he called him, and spoke in balinese to him. when he hung up with him he assured me that he is already on his way (90 minute ride from his house to me) good...but in the end he showed up as planned, and i could not figure out how we were going to get there in 3 hours instead of 4. i noticed he was very calm and i told him i am very nervous...how can we get there by 10 a.m.? he said that i had told him 11, and i said that the guard had called him to tell him i made a mistake. it was only then that i realized that in typical balinese style the guard chose not to tell him about the time difference, since he had already left his house, and was on his way and it would only cause him distress and to lost face if he did not arrive earlier, so he chose to just say good morning and not demand of him to drive much faster.

my driver assured me that we would get there on time. i chose to sit and pray. when i opened my eyes i saw that in spite of the fact that we had been driving at normal speed around and up the winding road, we were already at ubud in so short a time. and i asked him how long the ride is from here; 2 hours. i noticed he had a clock in the car and saw it said 8:30 so, if everything went well, we would get there just on time. i continued to close my eyes and pray, envisioning a safe arrival and trip. when i opened my eyes again, we were already at the entrance to the airport...the clock said 9:20....i looked at him, he smiled. how could a 2 hour trip take 50 minutes? he smiled. i thanked this parallel reality and my lovely cab driver and ilona, for sharing this option in life in her books.