Saraswati and Purification ceremony

"Aren't there any ceremonies lately?" I asked made.

"Yes, tomorrow is the ceremony for the goddess Saraswati, responsible for knowledge, learning, culture. All of the children go to school at 7 and have a ceremony and pray and then have the day off."

"How long is the ceremony?"

"About three hours…"

Happy to witness a ceremony that I had never been to yet, I planned how I would go to the neighborhood high school and participate. In the afternoon I could hear in the far distance the sweet high singing of children, and imagined them rehearsing for tomorrow.

Having watched a movie at night, I didn't wake up at my usual 5 o'clock, but rather at 5:45, which pushed things back another 45 minutes. What to let go of in order to get there on time? The morning offerings of thanks for our nourishment? Or meditating? Or journaling? Or breakfast?

None of these was an option, since I need them all in order to feel "connected" to myself, so, for maybe the first time in my life, I decided that I would just get there a little later than planned. If my entire life I still keep showing up for things right on time, in Israel and in bali, always sure that this time it really will begin as planned, and it never does….then why not just relax, do what I have to do, and trust that all is perfect.

So, after finishing it all I left for the school by foot, a 10 minute walk….but with a tight sarong on me, with little leeway with my legs to walk in my usual big stride, it took a little longer than usual. When I arrived I saw the big courtyard filled with children dressed in white, seated on the ground in rows. I decided to just "dive in" and walked across the open space in the middle and took a quick glance where to sit. A sweet young boy, smiled and patted the ground next to him, encouraging me to choose that spot. Grateful for his friendliness, I took off my flip flops and flopped myself down next to him.

Just then an older man came up to me, greeted me in silence and showed me a more appropriate spot….near the adults. As I got up to follow him, he motioned to another man from the gamelon band to accompany me. Yes, all the hundreds of kids were watching all of this….the foreigner, showing up for their ceremony. The next man that accompanied me looked familiar, but I didn't know from where. He smiled at me, said that we know each other already and explained in perfect English that the ceremony is already finished but he knows that I know how to pray so I can do it on my own if I want. I thanked him and quickly scanned my surroundings for some flowers and incense sticks (ugh….how could I forget such basics when I left the resort for a ceremony?!). I was used to the fact that everyone shares these necessities with whoever happens to be sitting next to them, and also leave everything just lying on the ground when they are done, so when I saw a little plastic bag next to my leg filled with flowers I was relieved and quickly started to take them out to use. Again, his kind smile, and gentle explanation that he believes these have already been used, so he will bring me new ones (which is the abs's of offerings, since it isn't the actual flowers that are important but rather the intention that is being put through them by each devotee, and these had served their purpose. ) He walked over to the altars where the priests had received many flower offerings from the devotees, and told them he was bringing me one of them to use. Everything goes here….no embarrassment, no stern glances or smirks, just smiles and acceptance of what is.

Where I found an incense stick and matches, I have no idea, maybe laying on the mat, and if so…what a "no no" since the incense and flowers are meant to be treated in a respectful way and are always laid on something first, even a leaf, and not on the ground…oops…After my little impromptu self made ceremony and made up individual blessings to Saraswati, that has enabled us to read and write and learn and grow in order to be closer to fulfilling our life purpose, we continued to chat a bit. He invited me to come to his meditation and yoga center if I wanted to join him. It was then that I suddenly remembered who he was; the yoga teacher that had come to the resort 4 months earlier and took the German woman guest for private classes…he and I had spoken then, while he waited for her. But when the men put on the tied kerchief on their foreheads they always look so regal and different that I couldn't place the face. It again reminded me of the movie "O lucky man" from the 70's, where the same 5 actors kept appearing in different roles in the plot. So now he was the English teacher at the high school.

He explained that the ceremony is over, and now everyone goes home. No three hours of music and singing and ceremony….had I imagined that sweet high sound of children singing praise the day before? We parted and as I walked to the entrance suddenly Mitha showed up, from my adopted family. I was happy she found me and came to say hello, and then I remembered it was her that had told me about this in the first place a few months ago, when we were looking at the yearly calendar and I was wondering what ceremonies would be happening while I was here this time. And suddenly here we were, at the ceremony together, like the blink of an eye.

I returned to the resort, and told the staff that I missed the ceremony because I had arrived late, and that instead of it being 3 hours, it was just 1/2 an hour. They encouraged me by telling me that tomorrow is another ceremony; Purification ceremony. It always follows Saraswati on Sunday. Everyone looks at all of the "ghosts" they have inside of them that are preventing them from being the best person they can be; laziness, anger, greed, jealousy, etc, and brings an offering to the temple next door, and another one opposite to it at the sea, and then dips themselves in the sea which will purify them from all of these traits. Hmm…sounds good to me, especially since I had been sinking into all of my worse character traits for the past couple of months, and was feeling so powerless over them all.

So, having another ceremony to fill my cultural gap tomorrow I went over to sit in a quiet spot and read my e-mails while looking out at sea, and as I did I read one that explained that on this day of recognition to Saraswati, Goddess of reading and writing and culture, there is no reading or writing done. What?! Is touching a keyboard called writing? Is reading e-mails called reading? I can't write a blog? Can people send SMS's today? Can I read a sign in front of a store? Write a receipt? Ooooo. This is not going to be an easy one! What will I do with myself all day? And, being an addict, I just had to read a few more emails before I had the willingness to close down the laptop and try and do a Reading and Writing Fast!

I decided to ask the staff if my conclusions were right….about no reading and writing….Nyoman answered in her usual correct way based on respect and honor for the individual and for the religion and said yes, but that each person chooses how he can observe this day. So, being the saint that I am, I decided to go visit my adopted family, go into the village to get my cell phone Balinesed so I can call my family, and thus pass the day.

When I came to Mithras I asked her about this reading and writing curfew. She patiently listened to me and then elegantly moved over to their simple coconut leaf hut and moved aside the piece of material which acts as their door and motioned inside. I didn't get it. What is she showing me? And then I saw; in between the two beds for the 5 of them, and the positive affirmations of their miracle bamboo hut taped on a big bulletin board, there is a desk, and on the desk was a perfectly straight pile of some 10 notebooks, and on top of them a small flower offering and a cup of water. And? "This is the reason there is no reading or writing. Our notebooks are being blessed today." I love it.

We later went for the sim card for my cell phone (and I read what was written on the packaging). And then I went back to my resort. What else to do today? After verifying all of the details for the tomorrows ceremony; sarong, sash, between four and five a.m. before sunrise, offering made from young coconut leaves, I had a mission! I will prepare the flower offerings….that isn't reading or writing!

At sunset I sat on the beach with a young 12 year old neighbor who helped me make the lovely leaf cut offerings from the yellow coconut leaves. I laughed again and again as she patiently showed me the way to twist the leaf so that it would turn into a lovely flower. And each time that I took a new leaf, I had absolutely no recollection of what she had just shown me a few minutes before and what I had just done 8 times for each flower! And then, as I fumbled around inventing numerous other options that did not work, I would again have to ask her to show me. I could not believe it, how in one minute I had no recollection, and again and again making up such concoctions….I laughed, she laughed, and it was so much fun that she had such patience and gentleness to show me again and again, 10 times, with no sign of irritation or disbelief that I just could not "get it"! What a nice experience of unconditional love.

The following morning I woke up at 3:30 and decided I may as well start "preparing" for this very auspicious day! So I wrote down all of the character traits that I felt were blocking my ability to just be happy and in the present. I was sitting outside in the dark, writing and meditating and praying and preparing for this special opportunity that felt to me like a Yom Kippur day, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. Perfect. Since I had also been on a liver cleansing fast for the past 5 days I felt physically and spiritually and emotionally ready. I would also be going to a week quantum matrix healing seminar tomorrow, so I was grateful for the timing of it all….not crawling on all fours to be saved by a workshop, but did the groundwork and now let's uproot or detach from this once and for all, please.

As I was getting ready for the individual purification rite I could hear people out by the sea already, since it was close to 5 am. I was curious to see the entire village of 11,000 residents, all with the same intention, dipping themselves in the sea with their sarong and sash on after having placed the incense and offerings at shore. But, I decided to stick to my intention of purpose and let go of curiosity and rushing over to the gate to look and see what all the commotion was about….I will be there soon enough too. Patience.

I walked slowly and with intention with my offerings to the gate of the resort and when I exited I was surprised to see mainly kids….tons of kids, walking on the beach, in the water, all playing and laughing. "Stay centered to the temple." Okay. A few minutes later I was standing opposite the sea, placing my offering there, and planning on going into the water to dip myself from head to toe while keeping in mind my intention and character traits that I hoped would soon be cleansed away from me so that I could love myself , without them! "Go in with my flip flops? Leave them on shore? On no! I have a sore on my toe. I don't want to hit it. I will wear them in on the stony sea floor. What if I lose one? They are brand new and I like them. Just go in. Okay." And just as I start to walk into the water for this great cleansing experience, one of the little boys from the group of kids that were giggling and in the water next to me said "hello!" and again and "what is your name?" Oh no, be distracted and answer him out of politeness, or just stay centered with why I am doing all of this just as I dunk my head while reciting all of my traits to be washed away.

Only once I stood up again, I smiled at him and his friends and said "hello!" They giggled, and I had a glance around and realized I was the only adult there. Hundreds of kids sitting on the beach and playing in the water, and me. What?! Where is everybody on this holy of days? What am I doing here?! This is just for the kids! At that moment of self-doubt, my right sandal slid off my foot and quickly floated off in the dark water somewhere.

I needed their help. Please help me find my sandal. My gut response was to start speaking in Hebrew, then English, and then hand motions. I groped around with my foot a bit trying to see if maybe it was near me, but they all giggled as they saw it floating off to my right. One of them caught it and I thanked them and put it on my foot again, against the forces of gravity, and made my way out of the knee deep water we were in.

Weighed down by my soaking wet clothes I made my way over to the resort and dripped through it to my room, where I was told I should now shower and wear my regular clothes. By the time I went out again, the sun was rising and the laughter and beauty of the dark sea and all of the children so happy and playful was lovely. So…just a kind of fun Sunday morning of kids in the sea at sunrise. Nice. I soon noticed mitha and her sister sitting on shore and went over to them. They had not dunked….she said she was too cold to. I think it was part of being popular or not, as she sat on the side, while all the other kids were in groups having fun. Apparently cleansing away their obstacles for learning, on this auspicious day, is not taken as seriously as I had.

We parted after I gave them another hoola hoop to take home. As the sun rose and I was back in the compound of the resort, I saw the owner was sitting there and asked me if I am okay. He said he felt that since I had arrived a week ago, something had changed. What was the matter? I sat down and knew he was right, and perceptive, but how to explain it. I myself had no idea why all of this heaviness had surfaced. As we spoke, more and more incidents came to my mind, all related to the character traits I had just surrendered. I explained to him how difficult it is to live with myself when these traits come up, and that I just did a ceremony hopefully washing them away….and that none of this has to do with any of the 17 Germans that are there with me. This is my baggage, just being played out with them as the backdrop and the ones pushing my buttons. All perfectly timed. It was good to clear the air. I was grateful,

As the sun began to shine its morning light on the sea and beautiful trees and plants in the garden I noticed that the light was different! Everything was shimmering, sparkling. I asked myself, how could this be? It isn't the first day the sun is shining here…it has been sunny all week…what is different?? I just kept observing it, marveling at it, and feeling the lightness of being. It was also after 6 days of fasting, but it also felt that my eyes had been cleared of the dimmer that had covered them over the past days, partly from the difficulty of managing with a smashed right thumbnail that was healing, and a stubbed big right toe that had sucked my life force from me and left me feeling very low.

Later in the day I was thinking about what had happened in the morning….with the kids laughing and playing at sea, and how serious I had been with my intention….and how that little kid just kept saying "Hello" at just the peek moment of dunking myself, and I realized that he was my "teacher" at that moment….telling me to wake up, let go, enjoy, have fun, giggle, connect, just be….nice.