conversations at sunrise

i wake up at 5:30 to watch the sunrise over the sea. it is still dark then, some of the fishing boats are starting to return from their 4 a.m. catch. sometimes there is a little fire going where a fisherman is, as he burns the leaves and warms himself up on a chilly morning.it is always a surprise to see where the tide is each morning, and to sit down on the rocky shore and get a big panoramic view. lately i noticed what the little nursery rhyme "twinkle twinkle little star" was all about....there are always a few groups of 3 stars in a line, that are twinkling...i have never seen stars twinkle (sorry folks...) and i have no idea why some do twinkle and others in the sky don't...but it feels like we are interacting when they are twinkling. sometimes there are still lights out on the horizon of the gasoline lanterns on the boats as the fishermen search for chumi chumi fish that are attracted to the light.

slowly there begins to be a little bit of light and then the black silhouettes of the fishermen and their boats against the pre-dawn skyline is so special. another silhouette of a fisherman on shore, getting his big new bamboo fish trap that he made over the past 2 weeks, ready to be blessed on this auspicious day, and then he can place it on his boat and take it out to sea. the balinese calendar has auspicious days for everything. and the balinese do not do things, without consulting the calendar, including sexual relations (which according to lonely planet, get 10 days a month).

usually about this time i have finished journaling (just need the kinetic movement of my hand going but i am looking out at the sea the whole time). madeh, a former fisherman and still in charge of the local fishermens cooperative but now the gardener and maintenance man and wonderful person, usually comes walking up behind me with a coffee and sits down to join me watch the sunrise. i take the opportunity to ask him about the sea, the fishermen, balinese mentality, his family, ecology, the village, ceremonies...

"how do you know if today is a good day to go fishing?" "we look at the sky. if the sky is clear, it is good for fishing, if it is cloudy, then there will be waves so we don't go out."

"how do you know where to go for the fish?" "we look at the sky. if there are seagulls, we know that they are looking for fish too, so we go where they are. sometimes if a fisherman came back with alot of fish, the next day we go to where he was too. we have borders where we can fish....from that tree, over to that one is for our village....we do not go past that area, because the fisherman from the other village go to fish over there. the swallows here by the shore are just coming to dip down for some water, they do not tell you about the fish. there are some people in the village that build big houses for the swallows because they like them and then they come over to the sea sometimes."

suddenly he giggles and says "oh, did you see? the flying fish!" and i look at where his glance is and see a whole school of baby fish again in the air as the wave has gone down and left them in the air!

"is now a good season for fish?"" no. when there are big waves, we cannot go fishing and bali needs to bring fish from jakarta. the price goes up since there are not alot of fish. it is like that for the next couple of months, and then in september thru december the sea is like a lake. it is good for fishing, all the villagers come down here and go in the sea." (with their clothes on, no bathing suits, most do not know how to swim).

guests at the resort noticed that we were eating fresh tuna everyday for dinner in a variety of ways, all delicious, and wondered whether that is the only fish they catch here? " no, just the owners like the tuna (expensive). once when i just became a fisherman i was far out at sea where the tuna are. about an hour boat ride from here, and i had my fishing rod and i caught a tuna. when i tried to lift it out of the sea, i couldn't, my hands were shaking, it was so heavy and big. i looked into the sea and i saw it was a huge fish! my first tuna! and i sat in the boat holding the rod for three hours until another fishing boat came by and the fisherman dived into the water and had to lift up the fish together with me to put in the boat! it weighed 60 kilo.at that time there was a very good price for the tuna, too." what did you do with the money?" " i gave it to my wife."

"how come some men use nets, some rods, some traps?" "the traps are expensive so only if you have money can you have one (only one man has one here). you put it in the sea and wait for 2-3 days and then take it out, the little fish swim in the trap, and then the big fish go in after them, but cannot get out, like the little fish can. the nets are easy, you row out a little way, and lower the net down, and just wait an hour and then come lift it up again. the fishing rod is for going far out to sea for the tuna, and then you need money for gasoline for the motor for the hour ride each way."

"madeh, do you think the balinese notice the difference if there is garbage strewn on the sand and the forest, or if it is clean? i have a feeling that they do not think that plastic bags and aluminum foil wrappers is an eyesore...for them it is all one, no?" "no. they just do not think "why should i put this in the garbage?" they just want to be lazy and not be concerned with what happens when they finish eating or drinking or smoking.they just throw it down." "do you think they notice when i have cleaned up the forest and the beach, is it something they can see and appreciate?" "yes, but they think "why is she doing it?" they do not understand that it is healthier and that it is harmful for the sea life, and that burning it is emitting poisonous fumes and harming the roots of the trees...they just think "why is she doing that? (me, doing my daily round of collecting what they have thrown down on the way to the temple, after sitting on the beach, while driving on their motorbike, while buying something to eat at the kiosk....). i also think that since they do not swim, they do not snorkel and they haven't seen how the coral looks with the plastic bags and candy wrappers. they stand and watch me; some amused, some bewildered, some appreciative, and some, like this morning...nonchalantly dumping 2 sacks of garbage into the sea, along with the emptied plastic sack just as i have finished filling up one sack with what has been swept ashore....hmmm....is it worth it??! he continues:"maybe now things will change. the government makes announcements on television, there are cities that have cleaned up the beach and it is nice there now, and maybe eileen has come to cili emas resort in tejakula in order to help bring about the necessary change!"

by now, the orange ball of sun has risen, there is always a moment just before when the sky is light enough to see a silhouette of a distant mountain from lombok. made proudly tells me the name of it. "have you ever been there?" "no." most balinese never leave bali...some do on cruise ships as waiters...for most, it is out of the question monetarily to fly or take a boat somewhere abroad. made leaves to go to his little compound behind the resort where he lives with his wife, and 3 children. they are such gentle happy kind people. and now he goes back home to change into work clothes after having slept on the sofa as guard while the owner is away for a week.

i continue with my writing, noticing the daily parade of the chickens as they come to search around for some food, totally secure in their strut, not threatened by dogs or cats eating them or their chicks (could it be because they pray for them all the time, there is no agressiveness between the animals?!) i suddenly notice a bit of a ruble going on and see a cock releasing his hold from a rooster. she straightens out her feathers and struts off (aha, is that where the phrase "don't ruffle my feathers!" comes from?) and he lets out a loud "cock a doodle doooooo!" (and is that where the slang for the male sex organ comes from too?!)

and slowly the shore which is filled with the lovely morning sunshine glittering on the sea becomes the backdrop for the 2 women that come down with buckets on their heads each morning to collect and carry sand to a building site, to a few kids with fishing line that lasso it into the sea to try and catch a fish or two before school, to a jogger, and me doing my tai chi every morning, which is another strange phenomenon for them to observe. and then the men that gave gathered at the steps that lead down to the sea go sauntering down as the fishing boat reaches shore and all 8 help bring it ashore and see what luck they had this morning...

behind the smile

i was out on the beach this afternoon, hoola hooping with some 11 year olds that were fantastic! the tide was out, there was lots of sand, and it was perfect. along came one of mithas cousins...11 years old and taking care of her little year old sister...so cute...smiling...hanging out with me and the boys...i know her from the dance lessons and from hanging out with mitha and her family. but this time she was on her own...initiated coming over to me, and even initiated speaking some english with me...wow! and smiling smiling smiling...

after being with me and the boys for 1/2 an hour, smiling, she asked if i would like to visit her house. i had already been to the small dark empty house in the village and didn't really want to return there again. i asked if she meant here in the forest, where i usually meet her "smiling" father on the path...yes here! so i agreed...debated whether to take my camera to document it, but decided not to be too much of a tourist...and off we walked along the beach a few meters.

she made a lovely bowing gesture to indicate that now we turn in the direction of her outstretched hand, into the forest, on this little path...it made me smile, so humble, so elegant, so....and then immediately spit....(apparently this is not a contradiction of appropriate behavior here ) and as we began to walk along the narrow path into the woods she said in excellent english (out of the blue...) " i can't go to the temple for galungan ceremony. i have no money" smile...

.ahhh, now i get it....

i had been to mithas house the week before. her father had said that he is unemployed and the village temple notified all the villagers that they must pay 100,000 rupia for the galungan ceremony. silence...me, with my compassion for this poor family that is trying their best and just can't find a stable income., i decided that i would give mitha 100,000 ($12) from me so that i can participate in the ceremonies and they can just call me part of their family. i quietly put it in mithas hand before we left for my third gamelon lesson, but when her mother saw the money , she immediately began to speak in balinese to mitha ( i am learning indonesian...the balinese know it, but speak among themselves balinese...so we don't have a chance!) and the next thing i knew mitha was explaining to me that since in another 2 days is the ceremony i should pay the gamelon teacher today 50,000 rupia an hour ....

i had understood that the lessons were a favor for free for me, that is why i agreed to them. and now suddenly, money! and a lot....i could no longer look them in the eyes, and when i counted how much money i had it was exactly 300,000 rupias...the amount i had to pay him...out of respect, i paid, but felt sad and duped again....

i don't remember if i have written in a previous blog an explanation i heard from a german guest a few months ago here in bali as i tried to relate to their duping me all the time, in an objective positive way, and not that they are bad, or wrong....and she explained to me that they were always "gatherers"...they did not have to work, so there is no work ethic, all they had to do was pick the bananas, mangos, pineapples, avocados, papayas, whenever they wanted from the trees around them, and take a string and catch a fish if you wanted fish...and now...a new tree has been discovered in bali...the money tree....and all of us visitors go walking around, as if we are trees that have money hanging from us, and the balinese come, and pick it, as long as it is hanging there...and if there is none left, they just go to another tree...it is simple,,,no ulterior motive, no greediness....just being hungry for some money....

a few days ago i had a conversation with a swiss man that has lived here for 10 years and has seen all of the corruption in all of its forms...and he was actually optimistic in his view, saying, "there is great freedom in having seen and experienced it all, the good and the bad, and now i can choose how to respond knowing where it all comes from, without judging it."

and that is just how i suddenly felt as we walked through the forest, passing a cement outhouse which is where they shower, meaning there is a well where they pull up a bucket on a rope with water, and then take it behind the cement wall and pour it on themselves, or fill up a basin and wash their clothes on the cement floor....when i went another 20 meters among all the coconut and banana trees and the cow in the shed and tapioca plants, her mother was strategically waiting for "the money tree" to arrive, and pointed to "their house" and said how they don't have anything....

and i felt totally free to smile, and tell them how lovely it is, to stand here under these beautiful trees, and how lucky they are, and thank you for the visit....yes, freedom to choose to let go of saving them, and freedom of recognizing how they "use" their young children as "bait" for us wealthy tourists.....but today, no fishing for me....

it is all sacred

yesterday i again went to the temple to watch the closing dance of the wayon won ramayana tale. this is the fourth time i was watching this sacred masked dance which is usually performed once a year, and only in this village. since i was no longer caught up in the initial wonder of it all, i could begin to pay attention to all the small details and try and understand what this is all about because i know there is more than meets the eye.


on the surface there are some 30 men in costumes with holy masks with exaggerated features of bulging eyes,huge grins, sharp pointed teeth, or buck teeth, big nostrils, etc. only the prince rama and his 2 assistants have small masks with moderate facial features and a demure expression. the play is done with dancing movements with the focus on the hand and feet movements. they are all wearing cloaks which are suddenly lifted on the right side a bit at the hip, or on the left...revealing often dramatic ornamental belts or banners that hang just below their stomach on top of their white pants,


since i haven't found a balinese that can explain all the symbolism to me, i am trying to observe the effect the actors have on me, in order to figure out the intention, since each movement is perfectly timed and planned in step with the drums and gamelons that accompany it. i realized that the music actually is the story teller, also for the dancers who can barely see through the slits in the masks, and also for the crowds. even though the dancers are saying their parts inside the mask, no one can hear since they do not use a microphone and also because the jam packed audience is talking and laughing non stop with praying and chanting going on at the same time since it is in the courtyard of the temple.


what could this "lifting of the cloak" each time mean? like "da da!!" and then it all begin to fall into place....the cloak for rama was also lifted by him, but barely, and only once or twice revealing his inner belt which was gold with a triangle pointing upwards and another one downwards. it must be the "showing of emotions" ....that the ideal is to behave with complete control and show a buddha smile on the outside, and the gold belt reflecting healthy sexuality which effects the person in the upper torso as well as the lower. and that all these monstrous masked dancers were all different parts of us, our desires that need to be in moderation instead of impulsive and with outbursts or egocentricity.






and the tale always ends the same, with the priest sitting down in the middle of the dancers performing a sacred blessing over the evil, since it too is part of us, after which a battle between the good and evil ensues with the good the hero. the battle at the end is always the liveliest part of it all as the kids in typical balinese style, began to chant out the good guys' name, but they do it in such a way that it's like they are answering each other; first the right side says it, and then the left part of the temple repeats the name....this underlying interaction all of the time, whether in chanting out the heros name, or sieving sand, or carrying something, or the fishermen going out to sea...always at least 2 people working together, chanting together, drums answering each other, priests doing the ceremony together, collecting donations for the temple together....

after the play ended everyone left. the lead drummer/gamelon player/conductor invited me to follow him home so he could change into another outfit for the next event at the temple which was 1/2 hour later. it was a chance for him to show off a bit that he knows a foreign woman, i think. we returned again to the temple, and he motioned that i sit down again on the ground. i realized that it is time for the next prayer ritual. i had hoped to see another dance by some men that wear a black sarong, but no one could say when that would happen. meanwhile the orchestra was getting things organized and i saw 4 men walk behind one of the altars and two returned with tall poles with decorative white umbrellas....i thought that maybe they were arranging new ones around the temple in honor of the occasion, but suddenly understood that in fact they were just accompanying the other 2 men who were carrying a huge gong a distance of 3 meters from one place to another and is held in reverence by the symbolic umbrella making sure that it is not hot in the sun or wet from the rain (and it is night time and not monsoon....it is the intention) ....and then suddenly i understood another inexplicable riddle i have had...


everything is sacred, everything is under the roof of hinduism, everything is in service to god, there is no actor, no dancer, no chanter,no priest, no drummer,or gamelon player, that is doing this for his own egoistic desire. when i was sitting next to gede at the performance, he suddenly disappeared. since there is not a toilet at the temple, he didn't go there...so where is he, and then a little while later he returned and sat down and took the big drum and began to lead the orchestra. it was then that i noticed the few grains of rice on his third eye. i realized he had gone to pray and be blessed before beginning to play. his playing was amazing. and when it was over i quietly applauded him and told him how great it was, without responding he turned around and faced the direction of the altar and said a prayer. now i understood that he was used as a vehicle to play the music for this sacred play, that is all. no one applauds, not the dancers, or musicians, it is all anonymous. there is no recognition made, no stars, no bowing, no encores....


the courtyard continued to fill up again and gede began to play the gamelon, hitting the first notes which are the signal to the other 20 some musicians to join in now.(they do not have written music, it is all done by demonstrating and memorizing). this was also the first time that i could just sit there and again, get in touch with what the music was doing in my body, not only listening to it. but trying to figure out if there is any rhyme or reason to the non stop melodies. as i watched gede i saw that he was watching the priests, just like he had been watching the dancers in the play, and that now the music was telling the story of the prayer ceremony! it was no longer random comings and goings of the priest, but stage after stage of a combination of actions and intensive music that was changing the cell structure in my body. it reminded me of when i did vipassana silent meditation for 10 days 10 hours a day. there was one day when the instructions were (at least how i interpreted them) as if a sword is going in and out of your body every millimeter, breaking down all the stored up patterns, memories, pains, that can then be dissolved instead of being like blocks stuck in my body.


as the priest began the ceremony the music was pf fast disharmonic notes, as if a shaking up of everything that is not in balance inside of me. as they began to sprinkle the water on all the offerings in all directions in order to sanctify, the music was then a very repetitive soothing tune that i especially like, and after a few moments of silence, when the priests all rose and began to sprinkle the water on each person the music sounded like something from heaven, showering down again and again. it was then that i realized that i have been asking everyone i meet if they know anyone who can teach me temple songs on the gamelon. i don't really ever get a response. even the man that is teaching me, nods his head, but teaches me some music for a dance, not for temple. and i realized that no one is going to teach me temple songs, outside of the temple....it is only used for the ceremony, it is sacred music. the fact that i like it and want to learn how to play it does not mean that someone who knows it can teach it to me. this is music that is played, only when wearing temple clothing after having prayed and been blessed, inside a temple for a ceremony.


the biggest surprise happened after that. suddenly the hundreds of people sitting on the grass did a 180 degree turnabout all at once and were suddenly facing the opposite direction and had quickly moved to the sides so that a pathway was formed as an aisle for the priests to walk down towards another entrance in the courtyard and perform there another ceremony. i couldn't figure out how everyone did that all at once, as if they had practiced it for weeks. as we sat their in silence i began to hear giggles and noticed that one of the male dancers with the black sarongs and the wooden swords in their belt had stood up and was making provocative humoristic movements towards the other end of the crowd where another male dancer suddenly rose from the seated devotees. he began to "reply" with his own provocative actions and they slowly approached each other, using controlled martial arts movements, together with humoristic caricatures. this went on for a few minutes at which point it escalated into a mock fight with a winner and a loser. they returned to their seat on the grass. and the priests continued praying and a few minutes later, another dancer rose and began with another as if impromptu humorous interaction with his partner from the other end of the courtyard, there was laughter. after about 6 couples everyone suddenly again did a 180 degree turnabout and the ceremony ended with om shanti shanti shanti om and off they all went.


i laughed how in the end, i unexpectedly got to witness this dance that by chance happened at this moment, and not the night before when i had purposely gone to see it. it is something that just "happens" and no one can tell you when or how or why. i asked several people what it was all about. they said they don't really know, but they like it....one told me it is a pun about warriors. it is unique to tejakula (ah, they love being unique in everything) and that it shows how you must be a warrior in all walks of life. "do you mean towards all of the enemies within myself" i asked. "also those within and also those without. learn to be a good warrior".


i found it interesting that it is a bit like the court jester. together with that, humor is a big part of their approach to everything, including religion.

the temple squeeze

the galungann> temple celebration has been going on for 3 days. once every balinese year (which is shor ter than our solar year) the ceremony takes place in a big temple and all balinese are meant to take part in it. living in the village of tejakula means that the 11,000 residents are supposed to get to this particular temple at some time over 3 days, in order to bring an offering of thanks to god for the battle of the good overcoming the evil, and to be blessed during this auspicious time by the priests who are busy performing special ceremonies in honor of the occasion.


the women of the family prepare an offering according to their means....ranging from small ones containing some fruits,rice, incense and flowers in a woven box and up to large silver boxes with layers and layers of sweets, holy water, cakes, and bunches of bananas and other fruits. these are brought to the temple, placed on the altars, and the women sit on the ground along with the other devotees as the priests sanctify the offerings with incense, prayer, water, etc. then the devotees join in in prayer and are also sanctified afterwards by the priests that go and sprinkle the holy water on every 2-3 people at a time, then return to their place and all recite together :om shanti shanti shanti om which signifies the end of the ceremony.

this procedure has been going on for the past 3 days at the chosen temple from 4 a.m. till 12 p.m., all members of the village make an effort to come to their particular village temple for this occasion. so even villagers that go to work down south (4 hour drive) because that is where the money is, return to the village for the ceremony.the famous masked wyong won ramayana dance is done in the afternoon there also, after all attendees and actors and musicians have prayed and been blessed.


having seen a one of the episodes a few days ago, i decided to forego the crowds and just come in the evening after everyone has gone home and then see the special women and men dancers that i have yet to see perform....so, all dressed up in temple clothes, decked out with my little bag of flowers, incense sticks and matches i left after dinner for the temple. ss="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">nyomann> had told me that that was when they would be performing. time and events is very "rubbery" here....everyone telling you something else, and in the end something else happens anyways...
r>
i walked in the dark along the path and, not wanting to miss the performance, decided to try a new shortcut to the temple. as i made the turn, i suddenly saw one of the dancers in costume, walking in front of me. i hoped he was "going" and not "coming back". unsure of the way, i followed a few steps behind him, grateful for his sudden appearance. when we nearly reached the end of the narrow paths i decided to try out my indonesian and ask him what time the performance is. i started with "LLING_ERROR_12">maafan>' ("excuse me") and when the dancer i had seen from the back until now, turned around, i was surprised to see an old man! his walk and build and black hair were like that of a 30 year old. "="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">anda bisa bicharra class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">bahasa..." ("do you speak uhhh...) and he chimed in "Indonesian!" and so i realized he was not the one that was going to understand me, and just keep following him and you will see for yourself.


so we crossed the main road where i was surprised to see tons of motorbikes parked everywhere! at the resort, and down the narrow alley, things seemed empty and quiet, and here on the main road it was clear something big was happening. i remember last week when i went through the woods for my gamelon lesson on the back of mithas motorbike, we passed a large area in the woods with a sign "parking" (or maybe in rror" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">balinese it said "paking") and i had wondered "what is this big parking lot for?" and a few meters away saw a lovely large roped off area, and i thought that maybe it was for special performances or summer camp or something. the next day when p-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">mitha again took me to the lesson, even before we reached the parking lots there were tons of motorbikes lined up along the narrow dirt path, and the lot had over 150 bikes (i counted them as we drove by,,,spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">i'm quick at math) and as we continued i saw TONS of men from the back, with their left arm leaning on the shoulder of the man next to them,,,,all huddled together...what a site, each one joined together into one unit...what were they doing??! and then "the coin fell..." betting on cock fights....so this is where the tejakula men hang out and lose their money after a days work (or no work!). if each bike held 2 people (minimum! you should see how they pile on entire families on a bike) so there were some 300 men here. what does this have to do with my walk to the temple? that there is NOT a "paking" lot for the temple! but they have arranged one for the cock fight site....


anyways, i continued to follow my dancer to the temple, past all of the vendors selling cheap plastic toys and ice cream to the kids, and was suddenly standing in a big line-up of men and women that had also come to the temple now! hmm....i guess this is a really cool performance so everyone has come out again at night for it! i stood with the crowd. everyone in temple clothing, the women with the offerings on their heads, the men with cell phones in their hands....to my right and left were open air areas with tons of men sitting around, gambling, or smoking (i don't think any women smoke here....it is mens' stuff) or just the priests taking a breather in between the non-stop procession of devotees that have been pouring in for the past days, wanting to bring offerings and receive blessings.


one young (smart-ass) guy started speaking to me in lightening fast balinese, and with alcohol on his breath. i knew he was just teasing me since here i was with hundreds if not thousands of balinese, dressed like them and coming to the temple. i didn't answer him, but he continued to tease and after reflecting for a moment what the best answer would be i decided to answer him back in lightening fast english "how do you like it when i speak to you so fast in a foreign language too so that you do not understand a single thing i am saying to you in english?!" (thinking "take that!") and to my surprise he answered me back in lightening fast lass="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">english "so you want to speak english, so no problem, just say so, so what are you doing here?" i laughed....


we spoke a little, i asked him if all these people have come to see the dance?! "what dance?" i pointed to the men with the white bandana and black sarong that is tied in a special way in the back....he said, no one is dancing now...maybe when it is all over at 11 at night or something. (it was 8 p.m. now). ahhh...so why is everybody here now? "Because now is the time everyone comes to pray," it was only then that i realized that my approach to the dance performance was very "western". here there is no such thing. the performance is not a show for an audience that has come to watch it for its beauty or interest. the performance is part of a temple ritual that the devotees witness. so....now, to stay in this crowd and see what it is like to go pray at night with hundreds of people, or go back to the resort. staying and experiencing it won out.


so, we stand....and stand....and stand....mushed together, every now and then a balinese woman notices me and starts to giggle and points at me as she tells all of her family to look at the american in temple dress standing here mushed with us! i smile back at their giggles, they don't try to hide the giggling...and then i feel a kind of pinching on my forearm from behind. at first i think i imagined it. but when it occurs again i suddenly remember that this is the way woman (or maybe the men too?!) get you to turn around and speak to them. it happened a few days earlier to me when i was "hanging out" with mithas relatives on the cement block in front of their, sorry to say, slum. and since the block is square shaped my back was to a woman who sat down behind me without me realizing it. she kept poking my and finally i turned around and she just wanted to make conversation. but such a strange way....or maybe tapping someone on the shoulder would seem just as strange to them! so anyways, here i am in the mush, feeling someone pinching me, and i turn around and a nice 40 year old woman smiles at me. i smile back a while later, again pinching. i turn around and she asks in english "are you okay?" "yes". and continue to just look around me trying to understand it all, how do i feel, what are they doing, why are they doing it, how heavy it is for the women with these offerings on their heads....


after a little less than an hour there is a quick yell of excitement as they realize that the people that were inside the temple courtyard for the blessings have just exited and we get to go in. and ....all hell breaks loose...no more rules, it doesn't matter; men women, children, offerings, old, young, we are all one huge mass being pushed and pushing forward through a narrow entrance into the temple, via steps that you can't even see, with people coming from all sides, and some more sassy teenager boys thinking it is cute to pull my sash on my waist towards them behind me, while i'm being pushed forward.... but at least i have made it into the courtyard where hardly a piece of grass is open in order to sit down on. i decide to just sit exactly where i am standing at the moment period. we must be a thousand people filling up the space sitting next to each other in make shift rows with barely any room between the rows for your feet to be in a folded position,


the usual ritual takes place, and i am wondering how the last part, when the priest comes up to each person and drips water on him, can possibly happen with this crowd?! and suddenly, out of nowhere a row of some 15 priests start off dripping the water on each one with total ease. within minutes they have gone from one end of the courtyard to where i am sitting in the back. i am watching them trying to figure out where they even placed their foot down?! no one moved for them to get by, no one was missed, no one slipped, it was as if they floated across everyone! and then floated back to their places up front, ending with "om shanti shanit shanti om" and out we went....no dancers tonight, and the next crowd came in.

the following day i asked nyoman," how can it be that everyone pushes like that, and for what?! to pray to be blessed with goodness when you act like that in order to sit down?!" she said she knows it is a problem, but sometimes people wait 4 hours to get in and it is very difficult and she didn't go since she has a 6 month old and didn't want her to be hurt in the squeeze.


another slice of bali

observations

nyoman, the chef at the resort i am at, is very kind, talented, intelligent, friendly and fluent in english....so it was a perfect match for me to try and get to know the meaning behind the surface here. she is happy that i am interested in hinduism and humbly shares her understandings about it all with me. she also has invited me to partake in her family ceremonies so that i could get an insiders view. what fascinates me is to see the similarities with my kabbalah studies, not that i plan on turning hindu, but rather seeing how all truths are the same.


she is married and the mother of two girls (8 and 6 months). she also is my co-teacher in the english lessons i am giving the staff here. she explains to them what i am saying in balinese, and also joins me in sample conversations to demonstrate how to communicate with the guests, but adds alot of her own knowledge of english from a balinese viewpoint, explaining to them the differences and idiosyncrasies of english, so it is great all round with her.


the galungan ceremony was today for all of bali. in nyomans words "it celebrates the winning of the war of the good over the evil, which means inside of us." all of bali is on foot or wheels, either car or motorbike (and its lucky not too many have cars since there aren't enough parking lots or room on the roads for them) bringing numerous offerings to tens of temples in each village. since this invariably means a huge output of funds to buy all the fruits, pigs, chickens, and sweets to put in the offerings, other than the $10 per family contribution to the temple for the costs of this production, it is acceptable to "combine" celebrations and save on costs. so, when her baby was 3 months old there was a celebration, but she didn't have enough money to do it "with all the generosity of an offering of this type (like dotting the i's and crossing the t's) so this was an opportunity to do it again, in combination with her sister-in-law that also had a baby and didn't have enough funds, and to combine it with the huge ceremonial costs for the galungan offerings....so...that said...today was THE day.


she told me to be by her at six in the morning for it. already by five the priests and chanters could be heard all over the village on the loud speakers as people were already bringing their offerings in order to avoid the crowds and manage to get to as many temples as their "pockets" allowed them to. poorer people only made offerings for a few, richer, for more...all to bring pleasure to god. i left my room in the dark of pre-dawn morning with a little bag with flowers i picked for the prayer ritual and some incense sticks i found the other day while collecting garbage around the temple next door, and some matches....as i walked along the unlit path in the pitch dark, i could see silhouettes of women with offerings on their heads, or men in sarongs walking by me, but it didn't include the usual "hello" since we couldn't see each other. i arrived at her family compound at 5:50 only to find them all just waking up and getting dressed. they typically live in small bedrooms one next to the other, an open patio for all the rooms, and a tiny dark kitchen and tiny bathroom with a bucket of water and a plastic bowl to pour it over you. if you are a married woman it means you have moved into your in-laws compound and left your family, who turn into invited guests ...today, her family was not invited for the ceremony.


the women of bali used to go topless, even in the 20th century. i think a "carry over" of that is their very casual approach to walking around family and strangers with only their bra on. her mother-in-law, just kind of moved around the complex from kitchen to bedroom to patio with her bra and sarong on. i have also walked along the road after a ceremony and passed by houses where everyone (some 10 people of the extended family of all ages) now relaxing on the patio and the women are just standing there undressing with everyone. another surprise for me is also pulling out their breast from the neckline of their blouse whenever their baby needs to nurse, regardless of whether it is in the middle of a ceremony with the priest standing there in front of them, or even the whole village at the temple with them. they don't wear any special clothing that would enable a discreet way to nurse a baby and allowing some privacy for the mothers body, there is no sense of sexuality or curiosity towards womens breasts here, as far as i could see. so, everyone was just kind of entering and exiting rooms in a variety of clothing including pajamas along the sidewalk to go buy something at the kiosk. her father-in-law had buttoned his white temple shirt, incorrectly, and by the time he reached his neck he had an extra button left...his other daughter-in-law saw him trying to figure it out as she passed him and giggled whole heatedly as she pointed it out to him. this is very typical. the silliest things make them giggle like little kids...they are always laughing at each other and themselves about mistakes made. when nyoman came out of a room to meet me, she was wearing her chef uniform (white blouse/black pants)_ and i was surprised! i said "you're not going to work today are you?!" and she said that no, she just has been getting her daughter dressed first. then i realized that you only put the sarong and sash on when you are ready for the ceremony or anything that has to do with the temple, including working in the temple garden to clean it up for the ceremony, or setting up tables there, etc...all in temple clothing and as soon as it is over they are removed before continuing with other activities. i had deliberated for a few minutes in the morning about what color combination of sarong, see-through brocade blouse, bra, and sash i wanted to wear for the occasion, but i saw that she just grabbed a blouse and sarong that were in a basket and didn't bother much with impressions or self aggrandizement. i wouldn't be surprised if there isn't even a mirror anywhere, including the bathroom. and together with that, everyone looks very cool in their temple clothing, men and women alike. her baby who is now 6 months old was allowed to be placed on the mat now that she has come of age that she can touch the ground, and i was surprised to see that the grandfather, as soon as he had gotten dressed, just sat down on the steps and picked her up, even though she didn't cry, emphasizing for me this inborn habit to hold babies in your arms all the time, and to pass them from one to another, with all family members very naturally playing with them and caring for them at all times. common property....no need to be only by mom or dad....


the priest arrived a little while later in his white sarong and sports coat and bandana and his beautiful finely little woven reed purse that holds the sacred accessories he will need for a typical ceremony; bell and bowl that it sits in, and the holy water holder that is a varnished coconut with a base so it can stand, or a silver vase... all the rest of the ceremonial necessities (cotton thread to tie on wrists, a bunch of rice stalks tied and folded which are used to sprinkle the water on everyone and everything, incense...are provided by the person who invited the priest to come perform the ceremony. he was also wearing a pouch, and after a pre-ceremony in the family temple at the complex, we returned to the patio where three tables were piled high with tens of offerings. there he would perform the same ritual again, but first he took out four silver rings from his pouch with huge stones and put them on his hands... nyoman said the stones have power, and that the ring is just to hold the stone while he does the ceremony, inferring that it is not a form of jewelry. this is a typical explanation by nyoman, and i love the way she says it, so simple and unpretentious. just stating the facts, never any doubt, whether she is talking about the evil spirits or whatever. total commitment, belief, faith, without any asides. when we were sitting at one of the praying rituals (there were three) and i asked why we were doing this again for a third time, she said that now it is for the ceremony itself, not for the people, or the ancestors, and that there are ceremonies for everything; for dogs, cows, trees, flowers, babies, teeth, houses, cars, computers....whatever is in their daily life, there is a special day, or days, when this has its specific ceremony in which you make offerings that it will function well, or flower abundantly, or be healthy....i thought about the fact that there is something very interesting here with the animals....even though there are tons of dogs,,,i haven't seen any dog crap anywhere! dogs and cats do not chase each other, nor chickens, and they all just seem to be quite content in each others company, including the dog that just wandered in and out of the temple courtyard during the ceremony, non pulsed by all the piles of grilled chickens that were being offered to god. i wondered if praying for them all the time has something to do with the complacency....


the actual ceremony was quite uneventful....it is the same routine always, and no one was excited or saying congratulations or making a big deal of the baby whose ceremony it was in honor of, other than dressing her in a sweet little pink and white dress. once the ceremony was over the semi priestess who knew all the rules of how many offerings and what was in each little basket and in what position etc. gave the okay to now take all of the piles of offerings back to the patio and dismantle them....hours and hours of work the day before by 10 women and 10 men preparing it all, and now, once it has been offered, it gets divided into food for humans (fruits, cakes, eggs) for chickens (uncooked rice ) pigs (little bamboo packets of cooked rice inside) and little cones of sticky cooked rice "for whoever wants it". not sure who got the chickens...maybe the people, or the dog, and the pigs were for them too i believe.all of the intricate hand made "paper cut" like decorative holders from the palm and banana leaves that we worked on for hours along with the banana leaf bowls and plates, were thrown out and life in the compound returned to normal.


when i had seen the 10 men all coming with their little cut tree trunk cutting boards and big knives for cutting all the spices for the pig meal yesterday, i asked who they were. family members...and do they mind not working today in order to help? " no, they know that a ceremony is important and on a specific day, and work can be done any time." we are talking about minimum every 6 days there is a ceremony in bali! but that really is their priority. by the time we finished it was 8:30 a.m. the priest had already been at another baby ceremony at 3 in the morning and had come here afterwards....and was on his way to another one. but not in a hurry, and always laughing, having a smoke, amused by me participating, and just very unpretentious and easygoing. i am amazed that they are not bored repeating this same ritual for hours and hours everyday....a treat for me was hearing nyoman chanting at the ceremony ("making a pathway for the prayers to go to god") . she learnt it in high school but would like to continue and learn the more difficult songs, but has no time for it. since she is the breadwinner (a typical salary is $3 a day .....) and her husband stays home with the baby...


i left, thinking i would go into a few temples on my way home to see the celebration that is symbolized by the wealthy putting a long live bamboo branch in front of their house all decked out like a christmas tree on the thinner taller branches with hanging sweets and pineapples and decorations and material waving on it symbolizing the battle that has been won by the good. but, as i reached the sidewalk outside her house i found non stop motorbikes with women on the back with their big baskets full of offerings, and the men in their white shirts and temple kerchief on their forehead, driving their spouses to the temples, and trunks of cars being opened up to take out the quantities of offerings for each altar...when i reached the main road i looked ahead of me and since the road had a slight incline to it i could see quite a distance...it reminded me of what it was probably like when the holy temple in jerusalem was still part of jewish life, and everyone dressed in their special clothing bringing the offerings for shavuot. the entire village (11,000, let alone all of bali!) going about for hours. i realized i had had my fill....i needed some quiet time for myself and decided to return to my resort and rest. so i went to the pool, and as i laid there the loud speakers from several temples were going at the same time, each with their own chanter, and priest reciting the prayers, not in unison....a cacophony of ritual. this continues for the next 2 days with renditions of the ramayana being performed by masked dancers at the temple each day. i don't know where they get the energy for this. really. part of the day i sat and gazed out at the sea and many temple goers passed by, and this is the crux of their life. this is the source for their well being. and it is all done together with each other.


as i prepared the paper cut baskets from the palm leaves and bamboo pins to hold the offerings yesterday, i realized how even the simple act of making them is the summation of balinese life: there is the up side and the down side to the palm leaf, and the decoration is made in order to please god first of all, not in order to decorate and please us. so it is meant to be beautiful and symmetrical. and made up of many small parts, each placed underneath the piece in front of it. and the bamboo pin (or stapler for those like me that just can't get that bamboo in without making a mess of things or because it is quicker) has to be inserted on the back side, and as you slowly add each leaf, forming a circle or half circle, the pins must also form a circle. all the women sitting around together making these in a way passed down from generation to generation. each shape symbolizing something. each leaf placed in a certain direction. ( i wanted to help nyoman at one point with filling banana leaves with the different contents and as i placed the leaves in a row, she quietly explained to me that the leaf goes in the other direction because the outer edge of it is like the top of the head, and it needs to be pointing to god). each item set down in a certain order and place on the leaf even though a second later it will be closed with a pin and no one sees the contents....and after the ceremony it is thrown out.... the moment i have finished making it, it is filled with an assortment of symbolic rice, fruits, leaves, spices, nuts, and is put in a basket...no one sees the pins or staples in the piled up offerings. except for god. and you, when you have made it. only once i tried to imitate them did i begin to realize how many layers and layers of symbols and attention and intention is put into each action. it reminds me of the kabbalah...that the goal is to unite, to form one whole, with others, by placing them above you, just like the whole that is formed by placing each leaf behind the one in front of it, and going round and round each time, like the music they play, no beginning, no end.... and all with the sole purpose of bringing pleasure to god. i don't sense their ego in any of this...just like my understanding of the kabbalah activities, which are just an excuse to try and unite and see how difficult it is with our egos....i felt that all of this ritual is also just an excuse for them to be the strong unit that these balinese people are among themselves and towards god.

the MAYAN energy of the day!

'the hidden gift of this day is Overtone Dog guided by the Mirror... The power of love that reflects the endless order of the harmonic magic... when all is surrendered and there is no attachment, how the bridge to joy is crossed by empowering our connections with others... Devotion to truth... to being a clear mirror from the heart."

that was the message that vasumi had sent out this morning, when i read it i knew it was true. i had just returned from an experience which was the exact epitome of what she had written (see previous entry "sugik") and now i was off to do a sick call to a woman i had met last time i was in bali and that had just had an operation. the thought had suddenly come to me that i have nothing i have to do in life, so i can go over and visit and see if i can help in any way.

i walked along the beach to her place and arrived 90 minutes later, after enjoying the sites and sounds along the way. it was so nice to see her again, and we sat and spoke about all kinds of things. and then out of the blue she said "would you like to teach english to my massagist and in return receive a massage everyday?" (always say "yes") "Yes!!" i was in shock. and again, said thank you to god immediately. how in the world did i deserve this?? i love massages, and together with that, i have come to bali and am living in paradise and have everything i need and want, but no "extras"....and "extras" are nice...they give a luxurious sense of abundance in life.

so here i was being offered something in a barter that is and "extra", just like drinking coconut water everyday for good health, and a glass of fresh papaya or pineapple juice (which is not "included" with my meals and would total some $300 more on my bill at the end of my stay, so i chose not to do that. and massages...the same....and since water is fine for me, and my body feels good and nothing aches and i massage myself with coconut oil everyday after my shower i let go of "extras" and am grateful for what i have.

and no matter what happens, i try and see that it is another lesson from god that is only bringing me closer to where i need to get to and that all there is is love, and to keep choosing it even if something else is yelling "but i don't like it, it's not fair, why me, how dare she"....

SUGIK

in the morning i pray....among other things, i send god all of the things that i am dealing with and let him work it all out; what will be realized, what will be lifted from my mind, etc. so in the morning i "turned over" to god what would happen with my meeting with sugik this morning, and also that i would like a gamelon teacher in a barter arrangement, without money.

sugik is a 15 year old that helped me out in the internet cafe and that appeared a few more times suddenly out of nowhere, including last week at a temple ceremony i went to. he invited me to come over to his house and so today was the day. we planned to meet at 9 at the internet cafe since i didn't know where he lives ( or his name,,,,) i got there early and sat outside by the road keeping an eye out for him, and also just taking in the morning goings on, on the main road of the village...it is so different than anything i know, that i could just spend hours sitting there. among the "different" things was seeing an old man sitting on the other side of the road, just sitting on a cement wall of a house, motioning hello to cars and people and motorbikes that passed him by. i thought how this is a common pastime in bali, just to sit outside and watch traffic and say hello. and i wondered what kind of life that is for the old man.

then i saw sugik running towards me (the first time i saw a balinese running! they are never in a hurry, but i think he was late and felt embarassed to have kept me waiting). i crossed over the street to meet him and we shook hands and we took two steps and suddenly he stopped in front of the old man that was sitting on the cement wall and said to me "this is my gamelon teacher". i was dumbfounded! i know who his gamelon teacher is, since i have seen sugik at his lesson, and am also a very avid fan of his teacher, keeping my eye on him constantly at every temple performance, since he is the leader of the gamelon band, and plays a wild drum! i noticed him the first day i came to the village at the first ceremony, there was something about him that just caught my attention and ever since then i always try to spot him out among the musicians to see if he is there, and how he does it. so with the blue baseball cap on his head, instead of the traditional bali batik kerchief and sarong, i didn't recognize him. and here i thought just an old man with nothing to do was sitting watching traffic. i excitedly told sugik what an avid fan of his i am and that i love hearing him play all the time and that i just didn't recognize him. i had no idea why sugik had chosen to stop and introduce me to his teacher, other than out of respect, but decided that this apparently was a god send and exactly what i had "turned over" in the morning; my meeting with sugik and finding a teacher for the gamelon! so i said, "sugik, i want to study gamelon and i need a teacher that is willing to teach me for free since i do not have any money, can you ask him if he knows anyone that can teach me." sugik translated and the teacher smiled. he was talking and talking with sugik who continued to translate all the accomplishments of the teacher; he once had a student from the netherlands, henry, and he has been to japan, and played in america in california, and he has taught all of bali, and performs everywhere, and has taught almost all of the musicians in tejakula. i acknowledged his fame gladly and knew he really was outstanding. but what about me? I continued and insisted, that i am serious and that i really love the gamelon and need a teacher. while watching the gamelon band the day before at the ramayana play, i saw that alot of them were old folk and that maybe one of them would just enjoy teaching me without needing money to support a family. i again continued to explain to sugik that i am serious. and each time he translated. and then i saw the old man nod and sugik said "he will teach you for free". what?! the head of the orchestra, the lead musician and teacher of the village agrees to give me private lessons, for free?! "yes." "thank you thank you thank you" (and you too god).

he asked if i would like to come into his house and see a photo of the man from the netherlands that studied with him, i always answer "yes" to everything people offer me here, so we went down a little path into an open air living room where he motioned for me to sit down on the rug and proceeded into a little room to look for the photo. he soon returned with an old album and as he searched among the photos i felt sorry for him that they had all faded over the past 30 years and no faces or details could be seen on them,,,but he was looking for henry from the netherlands to show me. on the floor also was sitting an old man in a t-shirt and a sarong, and a small thin older balinese woman was going in and out of the rooms, smiling at me, and helping him try and find the photo of henry. meanwhile i saw how this famous musician had once had a head full of black hair and a mustache and was quite charming. ah, finally a photo of henry, sitting in this same room, with a drum on his lap, yes. i explained that i have a camera and that i can take up to date photos of him playing in the band at the temple if he would like and keep them on the computer so that they won't fade and that he will have some current photographs. and i can even make a video for him....sugik smiled, politely, and after i requested an e-mail address of a family member that i can send them to for him, i realized that his grandson was sitting there with his cell phone which has a camera, and i am really not in touch with reality! they don't need me with a camera to photograph him, they can take photos all the time with their cell phone....but the balinese would never say that to a guest, and they politely gave me the grandsons e-mail address. i asked when we could start lessons, and the answer was that in a few days there is a big ceremony (for a change!) and that after that. fine...what a miracle!!!

then we had our introductions. the teacher is called su gede sueightie and i am called eileen, and then i turned to sugik and told him that i don't even know what his name is! sugik (how in the world am i going to remember that?!) and then i turned again to the teacher to try and remember his name, and messed that all up, and then turned to sugik and didn't have the faintest idea what he had told me his name was a minute before, so i told him to tell me again since i already had forgotten it! so he said it slowly and wrote it on his hand. ahh...sugik....okay. meanwhile the older woman had returned with 3 bottles and a bag of cookies, and graciously placed them in front of each of us. i looked at the bottle....am i really going to drink a coke?! and i tried reading what it said, even though it looked like coke, and it said : Thebotel.....i laughed; i get it : a" bottle" of "tea"! and i took a sip to see if i had guessed correctly, and yes! cold tea, nice. su gede continued to tell about all of his achievements in life all over the world, and sugik translated. i asked who the man here was, and he said it is his father, who was also a drummer, and hanging on the wall he pointed to a drumstick and said that it is very old and belonged to his grandfather who was also a drummer. i asked him how long he has been drumming, and he said 40 years on the gamelon and drums, and that he will be 60 next year. ah, i laughed and said we are the same age, ( which reminded me of a joke about a woman that goes to a dentist and when she sits down in the chair she recognizes him from her school days even though he is now wrinkled and bald and asks him if he wasn't the same so and so from the class of 1960 and he says yes and she says that she recognized him after all these years, and he said : oh really, what did you teach? apropos me thinking he was an old man sitting on the cement wall....so what does that make me!)

su gede asked if i want to come see his studio in a neighboring village (answer "yes" to everything you are offered. ) "Yes!" so off we went on 2 motorbikes zooming down the main road, su gede was busy beeping everyone we passed whether by foot, by car, in a kiosk, in a truck....he knows everyone and the beep is a "hello". and then we turned down a winding path and down narrow walkways until we stopped in a courtyard, where lots of pickled dry tuna skins were laying on screens in the sun drying out. a 5 year old girl sat on the ground next to a pile of skins and kept pulling out one at a time and placing them next to her grandfather that had a chopping knife and a tree trunk as he sat cross legged on the ground, folding the long tuna skins into a little pile and then chopping them up into smaller slices. this is the studio?! then out came a hippie type and i was introduced to him, a student of gedes, "that has many foreigner friends". it turns out that gede wanted to borrow two of his drums...after some small talk, sugik, and the grandson left on one motorbike holding 2 huge congo drums and drove back, and gede and i started off too. as he again continued to beep at everyone, he suddenly stopped near a kiosk that was grilling fish and other goodies, and told me to wait, and he returned 10 minutes later with a bag full of take away food. as we made our way home beeping i realized that indeed i am not 18 and blonde, but i am a woman and a foreigner, riding on the back of his motorbike and this is definitely something to brag about, and he did it in his own humble way.


once we were back at his place he went into the tiny kitchen and came back with some coconut oil which he lovingly rubbed onto the skins of the drums. when gede went into the kitchen the grandfather picked up the drum and tried to beat it, but then motioned to his arms and said he no longer has strength, he put the drum back on the rug and returned to sit in silence and without moving for 2 hours watching us. the elderly are cared for by the youngest son. gede returned and then began to tune them, sitting on the rug. he then showed me how to sit and said "would you like a drum lesson now?" (always say "yes") "Yes". and he handed me one of the (very heavy) drums, and a drumstick and proceeded to beat out a tune and motioned for me to imitate him, i did, "technique number 1" then another rhythm "technique number 2" . i managed to do 1 and 2 without too much difficulty and he was happy, once i got each tune he would play a complicated conversation between me playing my drum and he on his and i had to not get mixed up, which i succeeded at doing, and i got the "thumbs up" sign meaning "good". technique number 3 didn't go as well. with one hand beating on the bottom side of the drum one rhythm and the right hand holding a drumstick and beating on the other end of the drum a different beat, the goal was to manage to do the rhythm 10 times without a mistake, while he played a complicated accompaniment, i couldn't get past 6 times straight each time, before my mind would jump in and mix me up and i would start all over again counting 6 correct beats. it was important not only to beat the rhythm very strong and loud but to hold the drumstick in a relaxed manner, and to sit with a straight back, another one of my "heroes" from the school band appeared at his house then, too, making himself quite at home, they started to introduce him to me and i laughed saying that he is another one of my stars since he is an amazing drummer and gamelon player that i have had my eye on at all the performances. su gede continued to repeat again and again techniques 1,2 and 3 and explained that i must memorize them and once i get them down, we can go on to 4 which will be more difficult than 3 and he knows that 3 is already difficult, but that i am good. we had been drumming for over an hour and i was tired. i wasn't sure if the best method would be to just stop and let it go for another time, or just take a break and try again, remembering that all i have to do is try and be as empty as possible, no mind, no will, no expectations, no ambition, just be in each beat of the drum, a channel allowing the rhythm that my body already knows, to come out, without interfering with my ego or will.


su gede told the other student to continue to accompany me and he disappeared into the kitchen, only to appear minutes later with a lovely meal for sugik me and him, (grandfather and star student were left out of our meal, for some reason....) he placed a colander of white rice that had a little banana leaf the size of a matchbox with a smidgen of rice on it placed on top of it all (i assume a sign of the rice offering that has been made by the cook). the plastic tray also had bamboo sticks with fish kebab patties grilled on the tips of them, and a bowl of folded banana leafs with thin bamboo sticks keeping them folded, when the oblong one was opened for me by sugik as he placed it on my bowl, out rolled a spicy fish mixture that he said is very good, and then su gede also opened up a triangular shaped one and out came a chicken ball. a small bowl with hot spicy chill paste was the perfect condiment along with a small pot of some hot soup to be poured over the rice. so this was the carry out meal su gede had bought along the way. how sweet. a plastic bowl was brought to wash our right hand in before eating, since that was our "silverware". su gede proceeded to take one of the banana leafs from the fish patties and placed a little bit of each of the foods onto it, as an offering, before we began to eat. the food was delicious. it was the first time i was being hosted to typical balinese food that the villagers buy and eat everyday, since they don't have refrigerators, and it is so cheap and easy and tasty just to buy this fresh food on the street and take it home to eat every meal. he was such a generous and kind host. i was slowly beginning to understand that for him it is a great honor that an american israeli woman wants to study gamelon with him, and for me it is a great honor that the head of the temple gamelon band is willing to teach me. and here was sugik, sitting for hours, smiling, translating everything either of us said, so respectful to his teacher. he explained that i must learn 5 days straight and then have a 2 day break, perfect! i agree. we will begin after the holiday. " and during the temple ceremony where he will be playing, you must sit next to him." (in front of the thousands of villagers that will be coming there. ) after sugik had repeatedly translated what a famous and excellent teacher the teacher is, he said that his dream is that every single person in bali will know how to play the drums and the gamelon. and then i understood that this talented musician needs students and without them, he is just an old man, sitting on the cement wall waving hello to the passerbys.