timeless tejakula

I am in Singapore at the airport. I am in Doha at the airport. The people around me are from the "real" world. They have watches on their wrists,, their pointed shoes and designer purses, or suitcases and clothing all have one common theme; "I", self importance. The duty free shops all speak of abundance, affluence. status, luxury, designers. They are speaking French, Russian, English, German. It is only when I meet this world can I start to understand where I just came from these past months. Timeless Tejakula.

I am writing this now while both worlds are still alive inside of me. I know how quickly the timeless one will disappear and be forgotten as I merge with the "real" world. It happens each time I leave Tejakula. But I guess I have been given some kind of "safety valve" that always has me either reserving my next flight back there, or paying in advance for my next stay, or like this time, signing a contract to rent a house by the sea from July, and leaving my few belongings there for safe keeping.

This "real" world also exists in Bali, in the south, where tourism and wealth are more prominent. But in the village of Tejakula things are still pretty basic. When one of my kids asked me to bring her something for her house as a souvenir, I was left without many options. I wandered the main road, looking .in the few shops that there are there for the locals, trying to see if I could find "something for her house". It was quite the antithesis to Tejakula, where their "houses" are very small and simple empty rooms with an old television and a mattress or old sofa are the only furniture.

During the last few days of this stay there I got a closer look at their life, having participated in a 6 month baby ceremony, and also a major temple procession and ceremony. These gave me the excuse to wander the narrow winding paths through their neighborhoods as I tried to find where I was going. What I met each step along the way were people smiling, laughing, unrushed, sitting out on the steps of their compounds, in their simple unmatched clothing, barefoot or with flip flops. Others were anonymously helping prepare the food for the offerings for the ceremony, or chanting, or carrying the heavy gamelon chimes on their shoulders up the narrow path on the mountainside to the temple where they would soon play to accompany the praying.

I keep trying to imagine the residents of Tejakula, here at the airport. But it doesn't work. Many have never even been in a car. Or even want to. They are content with their simple communal life, family, timeless existence. Some men walk down to the sea early in the morning with a fishing line wrapped around a tin can or a piece of bamboo and try their luck at lassoing the line into the water and possibly catching a small fish for their family for breakfast. And if after an hour or so they have not succeeded, so they hop back onto their motorbike and ride 5 minutes on the bumpy winding path home to take care of their baby while their wife goes out to work. Or maybe they are going to the temple where for the next three days a ceremony of purification and renewal will be taking place from dawn till midnight with hundreds of people coming and going, uniting in prayer, in procession, in preparations, in service.

That is the source of their life, of their purpose; just to be with each other, listening, sharing, laughing, touching, serving….no appointments, agendas, rushing, frustration, worry, or desire for anything beyond what is at the moment. The social interaction is much more important than the monetary success. Life is sitting around picking out grey hairs or head lice from each others heads, or playing with a baby, or just eating a snack by the sea at sunset while the kids nonchalantly jump into the water with all of their clothes on to play.

When I mistakenly entered the wrong compound as I tried to find my friends family, I was surprised to see clusters of three or four people asleep on the tile floor of the open "living room", without a mattress or pillow. When I mentioned this to my friend she laughed and said, "yes, it is nice to go to sleep on the cool tiles like that, together with other family members, but when you wake up in the morning your body hurts from the hard floor." And here I am back in western luxury; large furnished homes, matching bedding, pictures on the walls, sets of dishes…but when I woke up back in Israel I realized that without the offerings to place in and outside of my house and temple, that I am left with the borders of my four walls, whereas in Bali, by going around to the family temple, and entrance to the house and nearby temple, twice a day, I am connecting with a greater world, connecting with others who are also placing their offerings there. Suddenly we are part of an overlapping reality, together, in more than just our small private homes. We unite with nature in its timelessness each day.

Time in Tejakula seems to be "round" whereas in the modern world it feels more linear as it ticks away. People do a lot of sitting around. Just sitting. They never seem to be "waiting", but just sitting. It can be at a temple, where there is a general plan of activity, but when I asked three men that were "sitting" if the procession will begin soon or if everyone has already gone, the answer is "yes". Then I ask "So should we stay here or go to the other temple now?" "Yes." So are they coming back here before they go to the smaller temple or should we leave now?"'Yes." And I am left laughing, they are left smiling, and I realize how ridiculous it is that I give them these "either/or" questions all the time, when in fact, everything is perfect, whatever and wherever you are. Assuming the procession had begun already we made our way back through the village down to the main temple, only to find ourselves among a few devotees, "sitting" while lovely gamelon music was being played by two different groups simultaneously, and a priestess in the middle of blessing the altar. The friendly villagers, that do not speak much English, motioned to us to feel at home, making room for us to sit with them on the ground, casually accompanying me through the ritual of placing the offering on the altar, or sharing flowers or incense with each other, mine with them, theirs with me, leaning on us, comparing the color of toenail polish or pinching us so that we will look at them and interact, regardless of whether or not we speak the same language….just being social, together, one. And then one shoves me (since pointing is considered impolite) so that I will look to my right and see the procession entering. Ah, so we could have stayed and been in the procession….but I just laugh, knowing that it's all the same, anonymous acts of service and intention that just goes on and on. There is nothing to miss. No one is early or late….it just goes on and on, round and round.

Being sent an SMS that there will be gamelon rehearsal at 6:30 tonight most likely means that about 7:45 the 20 some women will casually show up, laughing, chatting, reenacting funny dramatic scenarios from the day to the others that laugh at all of the exaggerated faces and voices by the story teller. And then we laughingly and teasingly carry the heavy chimes from the storage room to the nearby pavilion floor where we will sit together and play and laugh some more, and then join together again teasing and laughing and helping each other return them to the room and then giggles, and tooting horns on their motorbikes and falsetto "goodbyes" to each other as they give each other a lift home. This is timeless Tejakula.

Taking advantage

There is only One. All is One. And all there are are lessons from the One, in order for us to refine refine and refine, and feel at one with One. So whatever happens to me, I know it is another lesson on the path…sometimes foggy, sometimes, clear, sometimes painful, sometimes fast, slow, but they are all bringing me closer to the One.

All the One created is Desire. From my Kabbalah studies I have learnt that the Desire is bad, but that the spice to give it the proper "taste" is that of the "Teaching" (Torah). Can I learn to use that desire for a 'higher purpose"' instead of endlessly trying to fill the bottomless pit of egoic desire that can never be filled?

The playground for experiencing that change is in our interactions with other human beings. Only in that space can the evil be seen, tasted, felt, and a choice can be made whether to be identified with our own selfish will, or to surrender our will to a Higher One. When we choose our will, the taste is one of ego, of having "gotten" something, like money, honor, knowledge. When we choose a higher will, we feel empty, but in fact feel full in that emptiness, with a finer vibration, "at One".

The "higher" we reach, the "lower" we have reached beforehand. No shortcuts. It can go quickly or slowly, but only by "physically" going through the lesson can we learn it, which is why we have been brought down to this physical world in the first place. So, what does all of this philosophical stuff have to do with "taking advantage"?

I had a very painful and unpleasant ending to my stay at the resort I had lived at for almost a year. When it came to paying the bill, I felt betrayed, abused, and cheated. The owners felt betrayed, abused and cheated. I wondered what could be the lesson I am supposed to learn from this horrible feeling, and that it cost me $1000 too?

I kept going over it trying to see what I had done wrong that could merit such a horrendous interaction between 3 human beings. Most of the time all I could see is what they had done wrong. I healed myself from the trauma of it all, by sitting by the sea and making plam leaf mandala offerings for a temple ceremony and decorations for the dining room table for dinner. I knew I was going through a "mourning " process, since this had been the place of my dreams a year ago, and now it had turned into hell. I felt the denial, then the anger, did some bargaining in my head, was resigned, but hadn't reached acceptance yet, which was okay, since 24 hours hadn't even gone by yet.

My wonderful favorite and very special cab driver Gede was now driving me to the airport. Our three hour drives to and from the airport each time I come or go, are always filled with interesting understanding of Balinese culture, Hinduism, and Life in general. It felt good to have a "friend" in the car, and I shared with him how confused and sad I was. He hoped that I would not be put off of Bali because of it. I assured him that Bali is fine, wonderful, it is just the human interactions here that are so extreme and always throw me to the "left" ("Darkness") and then I have to try and find the "right" ("Light") in order to create the path I walk of the middle road which is my new "vessel" (a balance between black and white), until it breaks again the next time and a new vessel must be created.

Gede spoke about the three types of Karma that they believe in in Hinduism; past life, present life, and future life. He apologized for his clumsy English and then proceeded to explain to me about Karma in a way that I finally understood what it means after all of these years. I kept wondering what I had done that I deserved to be cheated out of $1000. So he said it could have been from a past life when I cheated someone else out of money. But that those that had cheated me, would have to face the Karma of their actions either in the near or distant future. I realized that all I ever have to do is just not create any more bad Karma, so that I won't have to "pay it back" sooner or later. I was so sure that all of my intentions had been 100% pure. That was what was so confusing about the whole episode. If I had purposely tried to cheat, abuse or betray them, then I could understand why it happened, but that was not the case as far as I could discern.

Then he said something that turned the light of understanding on for me. He said that people can take advantage of a situation. And then it all made sense. I had taken advantage of the fact that they had put me in a bungalow of 2 rooms with a shared bathroom, with another woman, instead of my own unit. It was fine for me, and I knew that when my girlfriend had come and stayed with me for a week in that same bungalow that it cost less for the two of us then if we would have had separate units…so I just assumed that if they put someone in with me, the price would be less. When it came time to write up the bill, and I asked for a reduced rate since I lived with another woman and not alone as originally planned, the owners felt betrayed. How dare I ask for a discount, and if I didn't want to live with someone why didn't I say so earlier?

They on the other hand had also taken advantage of the situation, knowing that I am very easy going and agree to live anywhere just as long as I can stay there, so….why not put someone together with me, save money, and they can use the single units for other guests? Once I realized that we were each taking advantage of a situation, period, nothing more, nothing less, than I my anger and sadness disappeared and I could see that we are all the same; always wanting something for our own interests. I am grateful that I was present enough to choose to agree in the end to whatever would make them happy. I had stated my needs. They did not accept them. I was powerless, and preferred harmony over a battle of the wills. I had been meditating on an image of me being present, peaceful and bestowing. And that is how I was…maybe if I had been meditating on rich, clever and assertive the result would have been different, but I was pleased that my priorities were what was truly important for me and that I didn't get caught in the drama that was playing itself out in front of me. I also realized that when one person "takes advantage" it can be at the expense of another person. The ride had been full of me telling him about all of the times I had been taken advantage of by people for money. Since he is a devout Hindu and in a service position, I thought maybe he could shed some light on a healthy approach to money.

His answer was lovely. He said he wants to earn his money by the sweat of his brow. That the money has to be "good" money since it will go to pay for his childrens' schooling, and the food the family eats, and the temple expenses. He does not want to take any money that is not earned by fair trade.

Then I "heard" a little voice inside of me say "do you take advantage in other situations? What does it "taste" like when you do?" And suddenly I realized that my lovely driver here would soon be the victim of me "taking advantage" of the fact that my bungalow mate was also using him to bring her back from the airport to the resort once I was dropped off at the airport. A trip to the airport costs $50. I had happily suggested to her that we split the cost and time things so that he just makes the one trip and that way we will pay only $25 each. She agreed. And here he was starting off his day with the expectation that when I get out of the car at the airport I will pay him the full fare, and then she will pay him the full fare too when he picks her up. I needed to know what he thinks about it all. What happens when he has an expectation of earning a certain amount of money, and then earns less?

He was surprised at the arrangement I made, but was very kind and said that it is fine with him…I knew it wasn't. I asked him how he understands "taking advantage". He said that for him it is important that when he picks up his customers he provides a safe trip and that they arrive on time to their destination. For this he deserves to be reimbursed. The fact that I happen to know that he picks up someone else after I get out of the cab and can earn more money on his 3 hour drive home, is irrelevant. Because then also he will provide his service of a safe journey and arrive at the destination on time and secure. And that would be him talking advantage of the situation; planning two trips on the same day, and being able to earn double, as long as the timing works. But if we also decided to "take advantage" and save ourselves money, he cannot do anything about that since it is our money, not his.

As we continued to speak about the subject, he shared that there had been a conflict of interests with the other person and that he had told them that he must be loyal to me, since I had hired him to take me to the airport, and that he cannot send another driver in his place. This brought me to tears. This is typically Balinese. The fact that his loyalty to me as my cab driver to and from the airport was more important than making money, touched me deeply. He wanted to do his best so that I would have a pleasant safe trip and arrive on time, so he must be my driver. It was at that moment that I realized that very "fine line" between taking advantage, for our own egoistic reasons, or of having ethics. Suddenly I could see how "coarse, gross" my western behavior was compared to his asian one, where the emphasis is more on human relations rather than on profit and money.

I was grateful for the clarity. Grateful that I could let go of my selfrighteous justifying of the previous unpleasant scenario with the owners and just see how "taking advantage" is not an expression of an open loving heart, but rather of a clever mind. I preferred the open heart, even though I think I am the queen at "taking advantage" of things….never having realized what it feels like to be on the other side. I decided to pay him in full for my trip, even though he refused. What I had learned from our conversation was that it was more important to me to not have any questionable Karma here. Paying him in full felt right and good and simple. It was "win win". I was winning by having perfect faith that I will always have enough money and that paying someone for their services rendered is an honor, and not a weight on my shoulders. I can let go of always trying to think of ways to save money, especially if it involves someone else "losing" money.

We soon parted, both with love in our hearts and a tear in our eyes, for having shared a "heart moment" instead of me nonchalantly telling him that here is my half of the fare and that he will receive the other half from my bungalow mate that he is picking up soon. I don't even think I would have thought there was anything wrong with that, or that I had gypped him out of money, or that he could possibly be hurt. I would have been too focused on my own clever solution to save money on the trip. This sensitivity to the other, to being able to "feel" the other, and to make their feeling good top priority, even if it means I need to spend more money, is the foundation of Balinese behavior. Thank you Gede for being the messenger that brought the missing piece to a scenario that had been painful, but immediately turned into one of joy and growth once understood and integrated into my life at that moment. So the vessel has been broken, and been created again; bigger and greater; Brahma (creator) Vishnu (preserver) and Shiva (reducer) as we learn and grow from each interaction.

Galungan

I arrived in Tejakula, Bali, one year ago. The day I arrived they were inaugurating a renovation of one of the temples and the street was decked out with tall bamboo braches with decorations hanging from the leaves, and the women were all carrying big offerings on their heads and dressed in their white kabiya blouses on their way to the temple. Never one to miss a ceremony, I quickly dropped my things off at the resort and returned by foot to the said temple, and walked through the gateway. Many people were there doing various things, and as I shyly made my way across the courtyard to look and see, Ketut came up to me and speaking excellent English began to explain everything and made me feel quite at home. That was my first temple experience here.

Over the past year I have been to many temples here, for various ceremonies. One time it was to play in the gamelon band with the women for a temple anniversary celebration. Another time it was for their New Year procession. Each time was a touching connection for me; each space was different and left its mark on me.

When I asked people what Galungan celebration is all about, they explained that it is the victory of good over evil (our inner positive traits over our negative ones), and that we bring offerings to the temples in gratitude and joy. With over 30 temples in Tejakula I wondered how people decide which ones to go to. The answer was "Go to those that you feel close with." Hmm….when I was told that last year, I didn't really have any feelings towards any of them. But when one of the staff invited me to go with her and her family yesterday to begin their temple rounds the night before Galungan I happily joined in.

I rode with her husband on the back of his motorbike holding a huge tray piled up with offerings for all the different altars. My girlfriend followed behind us with her 6 year old sandwiching the 1 year old baby between her and her mother. And thus we wiggled our way through the narrow and busy pathways among all of the other villagers that were doing the same. As we went into each one, suddenly a memory of the past year arose, of when I had been at that temple, and how special that first time was. By the end of the evening we had been to about 6 of them, along with hundreds of other devotees.

The ceremonial praying that went on continuously for almost 24 hours, repeating itself in each temple every 15 minutes or so, as another round of devotees arrived, and the previous ones finished, was done in spite of the rain. Everyones' beautiful white clothes were not a concern as we sat on the wet ground or under dripping awnings in puddles. The important thing was we were grateful to be praying and together. As usual, in each temple either I met one of the "angels" that I had met over the past year that I lived here (among the 11,000 residents) and was happy to see them again, or suddenly discovered how all of these angels that I have a "click:" with, are all somehow related to each other! I laughed each time I arrived at another temple only to find out, for example,that my computer man is actually the son of the woman that I so admire from the gamelon band, or that my adopted familys' father has a grandfather that was the brother of my girlfriends grandfather, and that the other son was married to the sister of my first angel, etc., so it is no surprise to find them all praying at the same family temple on this holiday.

The chanting and praying continued on till midnight and began again the following day before dawn. I had agreed to cook for the guests, since the owners wanted to let all of the staff have the day off for their holiday. I didn't realize that it would mean I couldn't participate in the celebration,since I would be in the kitchen all day cooking. But as it turned out, all I had to do was heat up the prepared food, and so I found myself with time to spare and a desire to be part of the holiday mood. I invited the other 3 guests to join me in a round of some of the temples that had touched me and that I wanted to pay my respects to. We set out after I gave them a rundown on how one prays, and dressed them all in sarongs and sashes.

The Balinese spend approximately 2/3's of their money on temple related causes; offerings, renovating, ritual donations…And I usually just join in without spending the hours and dollars to prepare the offerings given. I realized as we started to walk to the various temples around the village, that I had been blessed so many times by the priests, had had such touching experiences in each of the temples, that today was a good day to at least give back something for all that I have received, and so I took some money to give as donations. At each temple sat at least 4 men, at the small donation table, all laughing and smiling, and grateful for my small donation of $1. (Remember that an average salary for 8 hours work is $2). I marveled how even the donation table they do all together. One man could have easily handled a shift at the table, but probably for several reasons, they were 4 men; to keep each other company, to help each other, and to recognize the temptation that is in front of each one of us to steal and to assist him to write receipts for everyone and overcome with good the bad….

When we reached the second of the 4 temples that I took them to, I related to them how this had been the first temple I had ever been to in Tejakula on my first day here, and how the warmth and welcome had made my integration into the village that much nicer. And here I was, a year later, visiting it for the second time, and suddenly being the "tour guide" for the other guests, explaining to them what everything means and how it is done….everything that had been a blur to me a year before. As I sat on the wet tarp in the rain waiting to pray, a lovely voice began to chant, and I turned to my left to see who it was. There sat a thin woman, my age, with barely any physical expression on her face, singing in a peaceful but powerful voice into the microphone a song of praise. The humility and simplicity of it all brought me to tears. This is Bali. Anonymous acts of service. Simple people acting as priests, chanters, helpers to the priests, guardians of the temple that seem to be totally detached from their ego. Their whole attitude to life is one of community, togetherness, helping, contributing, respect, gratitude, and a lightness of being. Laughter is the key to it all.

One of the highlights of our temple rounds was that at one of them we were only about 8 devotees, and I realized that there was no priest officiating, but rather the water holder and whisk and wet raw rice were placed on a small altar and everyone was anointing each other. So as the ritual objects were returned to the altar, my guest rose and sprinkled the holy water on me and then I did it to her. It was the perfect culmination of temple experience for me…. how each of us is there for the other, all equal, all with the same intention, and the symbolic acts are inner gestures of uniting with the one God of all and everything.

The other highlight was going into the temple this morning to place my daily offerings there and the altars and grounds had heaps of offerings left from the Galungan celebration. As i stood there looking at it all i realized that in most of the little palm leaf decorated offerings there was real paper money folded and placed into each one. All this money just soaking wet from the rain,amongst all the food and flowers that were strewn all over since the dogs and chickens and cats enjoy partaking in eating the symbolic gesture of the offerings that have been left there. I was surprised to see all this money and wondered what would happen to it? On the one hand it was living proof of the priorities in the life of the Balinese. Money is not top priority. Devotion is. And the perfect gesture of intention and anonymity, rather than pride and recognition. They had placed the paper monetary notes in their offerings as a blessing to the gods for prosperity for them, along with all the sweets and fruits for their nourishment. Whether or not the money would actually be collected and used by the temple was irrelevant to them....it is intentions rather than the material world that is the foundation of their belief system.