how the impossible became possible

Every couple of months I take a ride into the big city some 50 minutes from the village I live in. I love the drive. It is always so interesting and picturesque for me to see how the Balinese live in nature and all the changes constantly going on. I often think that if people only knew how beautiful it was here, it would be a huge tourist attraction. But the one major problem is all of the rubbish that they just throw in the streams and waterways. I pass about four or five of them along the way, and try to imagine how quaint and beautiful it would be without all the plastic and rubbish strewn on the banks and in the water. I wondered how all of the European countries manage to keep their canals and streams and channels so clean and attractive, and just here it is so impossible. I would always think that until they find a way to clean up these garbage dumps there is no chance that westerners are going to want to spend time here. But how can a country make a super effort and collect all of that rubbish?

I had tried doing my part in it while I was living at a resort on the sea. The tide would bring in the rubbish each day and the shore was less than appealing. So I decided to collect the garbage each morning in a big sack, and hopefully the villagers would realize that throwing the plastic on the ground as if it was a banana leaf wrapping and not a plastic bag, was not a good idea. I would also be doing my little part to help clear up some of the rubbish. But often, even while I stood at the sea or by the dry river bank, collecting all the garbage, the villagers would be emptying their rubbish there. My main goal was to get the place cleaned up before the monsoons started so that it wouldn't all get pushed out to the sea. The villagers looked at me as if I was crazy as I collected the rubbish. I didn't know why.

Eventually I left the resort, and the garbage collecting, and did not see if there was any long term improvement there. But as I rode on the motorbike to the city yesterday, enjoying the magnificent nature as usual, I was shocked as I passed the first river and saw that it was perfectly clean! Then as we passed the second one, and it too was spotless, I commented to my friend who was driving, that I can't believe that the rivers are finally clean. I am so impressed by the government that they worked so so hard and there is no longer any rubbish!  As we passed the third and fourth waterways that were also so beautiful now and clean, I was thrilled. Finally the impossible was possible. How the government found the money and manpower to clean it all up and so quickly! Again I commented to my friend how I just cannot believe that there is no more rubbish and how wonderful it is. I am so excited. Finally bali can become the picture postcard it really is. My heart was filled with happiness that something that seemed so involved and overwhelming, had been solved. It gave me new hope. Things can change!

And then, I heard a little voice within me chuckle. I wondered what was so funny. The answer was; "now you know why the villagers were looking at you like your are crazy when you were collecting the rubbish before the monsoon started….they know that within the bigger picture of life, all that rubbish just disappears into the strong flowing monsoon waters and everything appears spotless again "  Oh no….i realized that all that rubbish that was impossible to clear up, was not collected by the government in a super effort to clean up bali. The impossible was possible because now that the monsoon season began, It has all "vanished"….into the sea….

sparkling

I remember meeting a woman two years ago and suddenly thinking that she "sparkles". It was the first time I ever used or felt that word. I am not a glittery person, and not into sparkles or anything like that. i could never understand how people could buy clothes with sparkles on them since it just seemed so fake. But I remember feeling how she just sparkles, and that that is an option in life. I wanted to sparkle too. So that is how the word sparkle entered my vocabulary and became something desirable and special and appreciated. Seeing her sparkle brought a new element into life. Why not sparkle if it's possible to?!

During the time that has passed since then, I seem to remember sensing myself sparkling one day too, and liked it. Then a few days ago I was standing at the little altar in the garden where I place a flower offering and thank god for taking care of all of us for today at the house and on the grounds. It is placed at the height where I have to stand on my tip toes to put it in place. And then I stand there for a moment saying my personal prayer, and so my glance is towards the sky, and it always gives me a sensation of how god is in all and everything which Is nice and I am grateful to feel each time. But this time, when I was looking upwards to the sky and began to say my blessing, for a split second, the blue sky was suddenly sparkling! It consisted of tiny sparkling stars, like I see on the sea as the sun dances on it every day.

It lasted just long enough for me to know that it was real and appreciate it, and also to suddenly imagine "what if everything really is sparkling, and I just don't see it usually?!"  That thought changed the way I looked at life. If everything is sparkling, then each moment really is a gift and blessed and I am the luckiest person to be alive in this amazing place called life! Just because it was sparkling it made everything seem extraordinary. Each moment was magical. It was all one big gift. Sparkling. I decided to adopt that approach, and am sure that eventually my vision will transform enough that I really will see the sparkles that are there all the time, just at a finer level of vision which I am unaware of at present. If we are all creating our own reality all of the time, then I want mine to sparkle.

  

receiving a soul

As we sat out on the front porch, ketut mentioned that he will contact the priest in order to have the ceremony for the bale. I was surprised that we needed a priest. I just thought we place a special offering and that's enough. But he explained to me that it is just like when he bought his daughter a motorbike so she could drive to high school. Then he also had to hire a priest and have a large offering and ceremony. Now I was surprised again.!

"You mean she couldn't ride on the motorbike until you had a ceremony?"

"No. only afterwards. Whenever you have a tool or machine, or building that you are going to begin using, it is important that it receive a soul first.  Then it can unite with your soul also and serve you well. It will be strong and healthy and will be in alignment with you. All of its' parts will be strong and it will be safe. the tires will not be flat, and the machine will not stall or break. If you want to overtake a truck, then it will follow your desires as if you are one. It will serve you well. It becomes alive."

"And if you would have bought a used motorbike?"

"Then you would also have a ceremony for it, since you are the new owner and your soul and the soul of your motorbike need to become like one, so that it will be safe and serve you well. That is how we Balinese believe." I had been placing incense stick and flower offerings on each of their motorbikes at dusk each evening and had made up my own little blessing for them in gratitude for safe traveling and that the motorbike should stay in good condition and that they be safe drivers and that all of their trips should be in order to actualize their purpose here on earth. I was happy to realize that it was in sync with this giving of a soul to the motorbike.

"For instance, the bale is made from different materials; the wooden pillars are from the trees in the forest, the terra cotta tile roof is from earth somewhere in the world, the nails are from minerals. These all need to be united into one, as if a baby is being born. It will receive a soul. Now, even though it is finished, it is not alive yet. Once we have the ceremony on the full moon next week, the priest will bless it and it will receive a soul. The priest can also pray that the person who sits in the bale will be happy and healthy, and many things. Then the bale will be alive and be part of our life here on the compound."

I had intuitively felt that the bale was not meant to be used yet, even though ketut had not told any of us not to sit there yet. I tried, and he tried, but it was as if it was empty, or not "alive" yet. I had decided to wait until after the ceremony to begin sitting there to prepare the offerings or play music, or rest.

"And when do we have another ceremony for the family altar? Every year?" he answered that whenever we change the material on the altar (it is wrapped with a black and white checkerboard cloth as if wearing a sarong). It is alive, like us, and so when you make food, you bring it some too, and you place the offerings there each day, and you treat it like a being. It has a soul.

I remember when I first came to bali I was speaking with my cab driver on one of our trips about the different religious sculptures and paraphernalia. I wondered if it had to be treated in a special way when it is bought. His answer surprised me; "it is just a piece of cement now, only once the priest has performed the ceremony will it  become alive, and then it must be treated with respect like you would any of gods' creations. . "

I await the ceremony in a few days. I want to feel for myself the difference in the bale once it receives a soul.

architecture of the spirit

About a month ago ketut mentioned that his father would like to have a nice bale (kind of like a gazebo) at the house where activities connected to "higher" spheres could be done there; like playing music on the gamelon, meditating, and preparing the daily flower offerings. I happily seconded the idea since I love sitting in a bale, and spent over a year just sitting in one that looked out at the sea, and would draw and meditate and play music there. Ketut asked around to find a carpenter, and hired him. We didn't speak about details, just the size and the kind of wood and where it would be, and that it would have a tiled roof.

There are many bales in bali. They range from the very simple to the very extravagant. I love the simple ones with the palm leaf roof, that looks like a thatch roof, but agreed that the terracotta one was more practical and also nice. The carpenter promised that within the month it would be ready, and the work began. I sat out on the porch each day the workers came, enjoying seeing how they work together, and the unique problem solving solutions they come up with to measure straight lines and to see if something is balanced. The tools were minimal and primitive and makeshift. The result was first class. That is what ketut ordered; a top quality bale.

Each time another phase of the bale was completed I was a bit surprised and not quite sure it was my taste too, but tried to go with the flow. Everything seemed a bit too fancy for me with my primitive taste. The final finish was the roof. What started off as a simple terra cotta roof turned into one done in the uniquely Balinese style, all because of one element; that it had "wings"!

So what I realized today while they were completing the roof was that the architecture that I know from the western world, is all about "me".  It is very grounded and has to do with here on earth. And other than the four elegant wooden carved pillars that make up the bale, it is the roof which gives the tone. So with a pointed roof covering the two meter square bale, a beautifully carved cement "crown" is placed on the tip, which has an additional point to it straight up to the sky. And as the four angles of the roof come downwards, they end with a kind of 'fling" to them which is like wings, and at these four points of the end of the roof, are added beautifully carved cememt "wings" which gives an upward movement to the entire bale.

I kept looking at the sudden difference that the wings and crown made as soon as they were added.. And it was then that I realized that this typical Balinese style, reflects the natural world view of Hinudism with god and the souls and the spirits, playing a major role in their lives. This elegant bale has nothing to do with "me"! it is a place that links heaven and earth. It is something that one feels just by being in the presence of these architectural elements, without it being expressed with religious sculptures or paintings. It is found on their homes and temples, offerings, and ceremonial clothing. Everything looks very simple, but in fact it is all with a message that everything is connected to something higher than just this physical world. The surroundings invite one to rise up just a little bit and experience a finer energy, while living in the here and now.    

"This is It"

Ketut is usually soft spoken at home. But suddenly while we were all in the kitchen busy making pumpkin and coconut steamed sweet cakes together, he yelled out "this is it!" I turned around from cutting chunks of pumpkin on the countertop to where he was sitting cross legged on the floor, grating the coconut. He continued grating it, with a big smile, emphasizing his elbow sturdily and steadily supported by his thigh as the coconut moved effortlessly on the grater..   I laughed so loud at the discovery! "But of course! How could I have forgotten?! I just wrote a blog about not forcing (pushing) not rushing and when you start to worry to change direction, but THIS is the secret; that we can never do it alone!".

 The week before, I had suddenly found myself "shaving" very thin pieces of the leaves for the flower offering, after 3 years of trying and improving. Previously, Ketut had seen my daily attempts and offered to help, even though it is womens' work. He does everything perfect and beautifully, understanding the components of what allows something to be done properly and in the flow of life, with minimal effort and  right action. And even though he had never tried cutting the leaves before, within a few minutes, they were thin and long and perfect. He happily cut them for me for the next two weeks, as I sat there, staring at his hands trying to figure out what he was doing that made it perfect. I think just watching so intently for two weeks during the ten minutes he worked, made some kind of impression within me.  When I tried again after two weeks, there was already a big improvement without me even having practiced. But it still wasn't relaxed and in the flow. I accepted my level, continued to make efforts and hold the vision of how I wanted them to turn out. And then the following day the thin strips were flowing onto the tray from my knife and hands. I tried not to break the magic, but continue and observe what was making it possible now that I was not doing before. I noticed my body was like one unit, nice and snug and being supported from below.

 When ketut came to see if I needed him to cut the leaves again for me, i told him that I NOW know how to cut the very thin pieces….that the secret is that my hands are stable and resting on my body, supported by me sitting on the ground. That until now my hands were either in the air and unstable, or contracted and making staccato efforts to try and get the results I was looking for. But when I lifted up the knife to begin to shave, my hands and arms took a new position, on their own, and I suddenly "found" myself shaving the perfectly thin slices that I have been striving for, for so long. They look like the easter egg filler grass.

I had shared with ketut that the secret is to have my arms close to my body and stable and then my hands can be supple and flexible to flow with the knife and leaves. I told him that this was also how I had taught pottery to my students. That the whole Idea is to feel the support from something greater than myself, and then I don't have to hold on so tight. I can "lean back", stay centered and enjoy the ride. Whenever my students tried to center the clay or pull up a cylinder or open a bowl on the wheel with their arms in the air, and wondered why they weren't succeeding, I would repeat again and again "support, elbows on thighs, arms close to your body, feet on the ground, and from there you receive the energy, stability and freedom needed to reach where you want to go to." And now he had suddenly realized too, while grating the little triangle coconut pieces for our sweets, that indeed the secret has one more element to it that he was doing naturally:  support from something beyond our own will.  Suddenly he had noticed it and understood the most important ingredient in life' connecting to something greater than ourself. As he observed his position and sensed his body he said he realized that it was just like with the shaving of the thin strips of leaves and what we had spoken about last week.  'The Balinese always work like that".